KpopLover1986 261 Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 I've been a lesbian sense the age of 13yrs old I know sexuality can be fluid, I only mostly had online girlfriends since myspace days and all they did was play with my mind I know online relationships aren't real sometimes and they are just role playing, and they like to hurt people, and i'm the only one that gets hurt. I've always been thinking now and then I might be bisexual maybe that's what I never liked bisexual's cause I'm one of em', maybe cause I'm jealous of them always finding someone to love? I'm still looking for my first, and girls have been nothing but butts to me online and such, everyone around here has been straight so far. I just scared to say I'm bisexual because I've been through so much hateful things since school days being lesbian and fighting for myself, and being beat up, being called discriminating names, and such, teachers put girls to like me, girls putting on acts just to get me into trouble, I never had sex with a guy, I wouldn't mind trying it, but I don't dream or think about guys it's mostly been girls ever sense little. But I know I can be bisexual and love woman more, I used to get gross out by even looking at penis pictures, but to me honestly now since I'm older a bit I don't mind it I don't get turned off I get a little bit aroused and I know not lesbians get aroused by penis, maybe cause it's just a boring life style I have? is it bad for changing if I do to become bisexual even though all the things I've been through and has you can see girls played with me so much but I still love them woman do turn me on more, and there are more things I want to do with a woman, but I don't mind guys now I find some hot and attractive but what would you call this just bored of the life style? I never had any real life friends either at all through out the time, my parents where homophobic, they are passed away now they both had cancer, but I'm free it feels to like what I want to actually. I also tend to argue with myself now and then every other time with this situation I don't know why I'm so weird in my brain and can't just be bisexual everyone knows I'm a lesbian family members, and people that I talk to but i might be bisexual I confuse myself but what would you call this I wish I can just accept it I'm just causing psychological issues and mental issues with myself.? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lunaandartemis 2,813 Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 hey hun. you should pop over at the LGBTQIA thread. <3 by the way,your sexuality is your own. don't feel pressured into putting yourself into a category.<3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaecutie 3,326 Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 hey hun. you should pop over at the LGBTQIA thread. <3 by the way,your sexuality is your own. don't feel pressured into putting yourself into a category.<3 +1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
E U Ae Rin 3,784 Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 hey hun. you should pop over at the LGBTQIA thread. <3 by the way,your sexuality is your own. don't feel pressured into putting yourself into a category.<3 This! Sweetie, don't think too much into it. You can love whoever you want to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Good People 2,455 Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 So what do you want help with again? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♥SNS-Shinomiya♥ 420 Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 I've been a lesbian sense the age of 13yrs old I know sexuality can be fluid, I only mostly had online girlfriends since myspace days and all they did was play with my mind I know online relationships aren't real sometimes and they are just role playing, and they like to hurt people, and i'm the only one that gets hurt. I've always been thinking now and then I might be bisexual maybe that's what I never liked bisexual's cause I'm one of em', maybe cause I'm jealous of them always finding someone to love? I'm still looking for my first, and girls have been nothing but butts to me online and such, everyone around here has been straight so far. I just scared to say I'm bisexual because I've been through so much hateful things since school days being lesbian and fighting for myself, and being beat up, being called discriminating names, and such, teachers put girls to like me, girls putting on acts just to get me into trouble, I never had sex with a guy, I wouldn't mind trying it, but I don't dream or think about guys it's mostly been girls ever sense little. But I know I can be bisexual and love woman more, I used to get gross out by even looking at penis pictures, but to me honestly now since I'm older a bit I don't mind it I don't get turned off I get a little bit aroused and I know not lesbians get aroused by penis, maybe cause it's just a boring life style I have? is it bad for changing if I do to become bisexual even though all the things I've been through and has you can see girls played with me so much but I still love them woman do turn me on more, and there are more things I want to do with a woman, but I don't mind guys now I find some hot and attractive but what would you call this just bored of the life style? I never had any real life friends either at all through out the time, my parents where homophobic, they are passed away now they both had cancer, but I'm free it feels to like what I want to actually. I also tend to argue with myself now and then every other time with this situation I don't know why I'm so weird in my brain and can't just be bisexual everyone knows I'm a lesbian family members, and people that I talk to but i might be bisexual I confuse myself but what would you call this I wish I can just accept it I'm just causing psychological issues and mental issues with myself.? Well one thing that might help is that things change as you get older. I didn't have "wet" dreams about guys til I was in my 20's. I always dreamed about girls if anything because I thought girls were prettier since they tend to take care of thier appearance and I love boobs. I don't think you are bisexual as you may be (unfortunately) hurt by girls and now the idea of being with guys is subconsciously surfacing. You may indeed want to be with a girl, and by the way your writing you don't see comfortable around the idea of being with a guy. You may indeed be bored (or lonely) and figure a guy might be a fix to whatever boredom or lonliness you have. My advise, take some time to think about what road you want to take because you don't seem sure. The last thing you want to be with a guy only to discover your only with him because you haven't met the right woman yet. I mean I know gays who are with the opposite gender, but I can't say that the marriage lasted very long Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KpopLover1986 261 Posted August 31, 2014 Author Share Posted August 31, 2014 Well one thing that might help is that things change as you get older. I didn't have "wet" dreams about guys til I was in my 20's. I always dreamed about girls if anything because I thought girls were prettier since they tend to take care of thier appearance and I love boobs. I don't think you are bisexual as you may be (unfortunately) hurt by girls and now the idea of being with guys is subconsciously surfacing. You may indeed want to be with a girl, and by the way your writing you don't see comfortable around the idea of being with a guy. You may indeed be bored (or lonely) and figure a guy might be a fix to whatever boredom or lonliness you have. My advise, take some time to think about what road you want to take because you don't seem sure. The last thing you want to be with a guy only to discover your only with him because you haven't met the right woman yet. I mean I know gays who are with the opposite gender, but I can't say that the marriage lasted very long Thanks I think you hit it right in the feels, in the right spot, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KpopLover1986 261 Posted August 31, 2014 Author Share Posted August 31, 2014 Thanks I think you hit it right in the feels, in the right spot, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KpopLover1986 261 Posted August 31, 2014 Author Share Posted August 31, 2014 Well one thing that might help is that things change as you get older. I didn't have "wet" dreams about guys til I was in my 20's. I always dreamed about girls if anything because I thought girls were prettier since they tend to take care of thier appearance and I love boobs. I don't think you are bisexual as you may be (unfortunately) hurt by girls and now the idea of being with guys is subconsciously surfacing. You may indeed want to be with a girl, and by the way your writing you don't see comfortable around the idea of being with a guy. You may indeed be bored (or lonely) and figure a guy might be a fix to whatever boredom or lonliness you have. My advise, take some time to think about what road you want to take because you don't seem sure. The last thing you want to be with a guy only to discover your only with him because you haven't met the right woman yet. I mean I know gays who are with the opposite gender, but I can't say that the marriage lasted very long Yes I agree, with what you said, I do like guys but I love girls a lot more, and sexual I've been hurt so many times by girls though online and I had sex with a girl in real life when I was 18yrs old but she was bisexual and she only did it at the time cause she was horny for a guy, and that was messed up how I got treated at the end, and never heard from her again at all till that day. But I've been through so much with coming out, and how I was treated in school I was so discriminated and it was hell It still effects me even though school was so long for me graduated back in 2004. But some of the things scared me for life, and it was brutal what people did to me, of course I got beat up, I got called fagot and dyke and lesbo, I wasn't like the other girls I was an outcast I kept to myself people that said they where my friend turned out to be part of the enemy, I had teachers, teachers put girls up to like me and flirt with me to see how far I would take it I really wanted a girlfriend I didn't even come out on my own, my computer teacher back in the 9th grade called my parents because I told a few girls in class I liked em', and I didn't know it was such a big issue I mean really, So when I got home that day it was all hell broke loose, my parents hated me so much they hit me they made bruises up and down my back, they punched my back, they threw me by the door told me to get the fck out, I wasn't nothing but a fagot and a dyke they didn't raise no lesbo, they tore my room apart, they destroyed almost everything. Just because of that phone call, and what ever else was said by that btch, I just thought she was saying it to scare me, but I'll never forget that. I have been through cutting phase in the 10th grade when the teacher put that girl up to like me and it turned into this big argument and meeting with parents cause I liked her to much after I just told her that I liked her that's all I said, people spread rumors saying that I said things and didn't that's what made more messy situation but I started to cut right after that all went down, But I stopped cutting though all on my own with no help and no friends I just knew it wasn't helping. I don't know who to believe any more cause of that, my family wasn't never supportive with that, and with me being that way, I had no friends till this day still don't only online friends, it's hard to forget all that from the past when people tell you to forget about it, I think the guy thing pops into my mind cause I'm bored, and lonely, and I can get guys, guys flirt with me, but never girls or soft butches I'm not into butches butches scare me, I just want one true girlfriend to be with it, but never had one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♥SNS-Shinomiya♥ 420 Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 Yes I agree, with what you said, I do like guys but I love girls a lot more, and sexual I've been hurt so many times by girls though online and I had sex with a girl in real life when I was 18yrs old but she was bisexual and she only did it at the time cause she was horny for a guy, and that was messed up how I got treated at the end, and never heard from her again at all till that day. But I've been through so much with coming out, and how I was treated in school I was so discriminated and it was hell It still effects me even though school was so long for me graduated back in 2004. But some of the things scared me for life, and it was brutal what people did to me, of course I got beat up, I got called fagot and dyke and lesbo, I wasn't like the other girls I was an outcast I kept to myself people that said they where my friend turned out to be part of the enemy, I had teachers, teachers put girls up to like me and flirt with me to see how far I would take it I really wanted a girlfriend I didn't even come out on my own, my computer teacher back in the 9th grade called my parents because I told a few girls in class I liked em', and I didn't know it was such a big issue I mean really, So when I got home that day it was all hell broke loose, my parents hated me so much they hit me they made bruises up and down my back, they punched my back, they threw me by the door told me to get the fck out, I wasn't nothing but a fagot and a dyke they didn't raise no lesbo, they tore my room apart, they destroyed almost everything. Just because of that phone call, and what ever else was said by that btch, I just thought she was saying it to scare me, but I'll never forget that. I have been through cutting phase in the 10th grade when the teacher put that girl up to like me and it turned into this big argument and meeting with parents cause I liked her to much after I just told her that I liked her that's all I said, people spread rumors saying that I said things and didn't that's what made more messy situation but I started to cut right after that all went down, I don't know who to believe any more cause of that, my family wasn't never supportive with that, and with me being that way, I had no friends till this day still don't only online friends, it's hard to forget all that from the past when people tell you to forget about it, I think the guy thing pops into my mind cause I'm bored, and lonely, and I can get guys, guys flirt with me, but never girls or soft butches I'm not into butches butches scare me, I just want one true girlfriend to be with it, but never had one. You sound like you have been through hell. I would be happy to be your online friend (can't promise we don't bump heads) if you need support. I am sorry I can't relate to you, I just want you to know that one day you will find love. I don't want to say be with a guy cause your lonely, because that wouldn't be fair to a guy. However I would say don't be close minded to a person giving you the love you always wanted even though its from a guy. If its the physical attraction is why you like girls then I feel for you. But if its not, if what you truly want at the end of the day is love, you may want to look at all your options. You wouldn't want because you only want a woman that a guy who truly loves you and wants to take care over gets looked over because he doesn't come with breast and a vagina. Again before anything take time to think about what you want. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KpopLover1986 261 Posted August 31, 2014 Author Share Posted August 31, 2014 You sound like you have been through hell. I would be happy to be your online friend (can't promise we don't bump heads) if you need support. I am sorry I can't relate to you, I just want you to know that one day you will find love. I don't want to say be with a guy cause your lonely, because that wouldn't be fair to a guy. However I would say don't be close minded to a person giving you the love you always wanted even though its from a guy. If its the physical attraction is why you like girls then I feel for you. But if its not, if what you truly want at the end of the day is love, you may want to look at all your options. You wouldn't want because you only want a woman that a guy who truly loves you and wants to take care over gets looked over because he doesn't come with breast and a vagina. Again before anything take time to think about what you want. Thanks, I added you has a friend yeah I've been through a lot, just because people where assholes to me, and it still effects me, it sucks how people can be like that to someone that's different just because they don't understand the way they love. I've been out since the age of 14yrs old. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♥SNS-Shinomiya♥ 420 Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 Thanks, I added you has a friend yeah I've been through a lot, just because people where assholes to me, and it still effects me, it sucks how people can be like that to someone that's different just because they don't understand the way they love. I've been out since the age of 14yrs old. Luckily life isn't over, and the best thing is when you get old enough and secure enough some day those things won't even matter to you anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KpopLover1986 261 Posted August 31, 2014 Author Share Posted August 31, 2014 Luckily life isn't over, and the best thing is when you get old enough and secure enough some day those things won't even matter to you anymore. true, but this bisexual thing does pop in my head more in my life time, sometimes it be awesome if I'm cause I do think guys are attractive cute, and sexy, and i admire them like the kpop Asian guys etc, who doesn't lol. But then I know I truly love girls I love how girls are and I truly love Asian woman the kpop woman, and etc white woman etc I just love girls and I'm more sexually into girls while the thought of kissing a guy I can't get into my mind at all, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♥SNS-Shinomiya♥ 420 Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 true, but this bisexual thing does pop in my head more in my life time, sometimes it be awesome if I'm cause I do think guys are attractive cute, and sexy, and i admire them like the kpop Asian guys etc, who doesn't lol. But then I know I truly love girls I love how girls are and I truly love Asian woman the kpop woman, and etc white woman etc I just love girls and I'm more sexually into girls while the thought of kissing a guy I can't get into my mind at all, pm me, this is going to get personal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bree Van de Kamp 200 Posted September 1, 2014 Share Posted September 1, 2014 Hey girl, congrats on posting your situation on this thread, it's easy to see you are emotional about it. It really saddens me to read what you've been through for being non-heterosexual. I've been through a lot myself, for whatever reasons, so I kinda see where you're coming from. I'd also like to tell you I can see you are struggling to fit a category and make your life simpler by doing so, but I think that in fact you are just making it more complicated. World is interested in two categories - are you heterosexual or are you non-heterosexual? If you are latter, then you have lower value. It doesn't have to be like that though, that's why you'll see many non-heterosexuals striving to be more successful than a lot of people. It can bring you a blessing as well So, to add a bit to what I said, it would be very admirable if you continued your life as it is right now and see who'd you fall for romantically. Dont be troubled by genders, sexualities and stuff. I've fallen for straight guys and gay guys in my life and sometimes even a girl, even though I think it was a period of mass confusion. Go for whatever you want and remember along the way - never hurt anyone deliberately like they hurt you. Cheers gurrr!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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