2022 and this is still a thing - Can Men & Women be Friends?

[Siobhan Halo]

Spoiler: he says no.

PS ever have a youtube/insta/etc that you really like and enjoy all the content and suddenly, bang, the creator comes out as a POS?

[pace]

I kind of believe that people who say "no" to this question say that because of their personal experiences--they probably have ended up liking all of their male/female friends in a romantic way. It's ridiculous to think men and women can't be friends though because it's not like you're automatically attracted to every person you meet and get close to.

 

I don't think I've followed any content creators that turned out to be crummy people, but maybe I have forgotten.

[No1]

People who say this don't see their "friends"as actual people, just potential conquests for which they have to bid their time until it's their turn to dive in and "sweep them of their feet".

I do believe men and women can be platonic friends, but anecdotally, it hasn't been my experience as most of my male friends are either waiting for a chance to get in my pants, then drop me like a hot coal when I say no, or they're already in a relationship of their own; and even that hasn't stopped them from trying. In fact, I'd say my only actual friends are gay men, or ace and aro ones. Basically men who are not attracted to women or anyone else in the first place.

Edited September 20, 2022 by No1

[UMJI MOODS]

When I am looking for a friend that is what I am looking for, a friend, and nothing else. Guy here needs to check himself. He's the one who has problems. 

Second part I guess I have been lucky. 

[Shalnark]

Honestly I had terrible experiences with a few of my friends who were men but others I've known since we were kids and they are great. 

 

[Zack Morris]

Personally in my experience it’s a mixed bag. I’ve had male friends that switched up on me after I told them I don’t want anything or they assumed I’m into them for whatever reason. Which left me baffled every single time. And the only close and long lasting male friendships I’ve had are with individuals who are not het soooo

and yes there have been quite a few times when a content creator I really like got revealed to be terrible. It’s pretty easy to cut them out of content consumption when I find out tho. 

[Lexi.K]

Women can be easily be only friends with men, but it's usually men who only see women as a possible romantic or sexual contest. That's misogynistic in my opinion, as such men objectify women, not seeing them as peers as they do with male friends.

Edited September 20, 2022 by Lexi.K

[Guest]

Yes it is possible, though anecdotally it is difficult because many male friends either ended up liking me, or we had a weird flirtatious relationship, but I do have two male friends (though we again, had a weird flirtatious relationship. And one of them has a girlfriend who HATES me because she views me as competition even though I don't like him that way). I think it is easier with gay men/men in committed relationships, and if you are a woman who is not straight/not conventionally attractive.

Also I think there's a difference between having male acquaintances and CLOSE male friends. The latter is more difficult.

Edited September 20, 2022 by nana_moon

[Guest]

no. and its a men problem. men are the ones who cant see women just as friends, thats why its always them who complain about being "friendzoned".

[harumaki]

Depends on the person

[Nami]

I think so, but I also feel like it depends..

[Bel.]

Call me ugly or something but I didn't have that much problems making friends with men in the past. I think it highly depends on what base the friendship is set on? I would say all my successful long term friends that I was close with that treated me as a human being see me as a fun person that share the same hobbies as them. I am a girl who game a lot, I will tend to play with mostly men cause that was just more common. During my time in college, I studied in game design\art and like 80% of my dorm floor were guys. I would always chill with my close friends, even on 1on1, and no one ever felt like it has to be a weird\flirt situation? Or I never felt like any of those weren't genuine and I was just getting lead on for a chance at sex. I'm talking about straight men btw so yes this is very feasible you just don't have to entertain them\give them hints just because you are bored or want attention. 

Like alternatively does it means all bi people can't have any friends because they would be attracted to everyone? that sounds ridiculous.

Yes there is the plethora of boys who would approach you with those intentions (or the one who would drop something like ''I had a crush on you for 5 years and I regret not acting on it'' vibe), but you just politely tell them you have no intentions of reciprocating it, and if they don't want to continue the friendship well you just move on and be glad you don't have to deal with it in your life. And for that specific group of boys, it doesn't matter how attractive you are cause they will just go for any women ever who even just slightly care about them.

[sour candy]

I have a lifelong group of male friends where it's been strictly platonic, but I feel like i'm incredibly lucky to have had these friendhips as almost every single other friendship I've had with men outside of my core group, i'd say a nice 85% of them have expressed romantic interest in me. It's honestly incredibly annoying and RUDE! I think it boils down to why the men decided to become friends with me in the first place. If they're becoming friends with me out of a mutual genuine interest or just think i'm cool/funny whatever then it's usually fine. The problem is that men have a terrible time befriending women that they aren't attracted to or view as a potential love interest.