chocolatten 22 Posted September 17, 2022 Share Posted September 17, 2022 after not feeling anything romantically for anyone for 4 years im again attracted to someone who will reject me im so frickin busy but i cant stop thinking about him..... and i know he doesnt care about me. he could even be gay, i barely know him lmao i barely know him but im already imagining our life together HAHAHAA god i hate myself, im so delusional Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
only lovers left 370 Posted September 17, 2022 Share Posted September 17, 2022 i think the more you try to tell yourself you need to “lose” the feelings, the more you’ll find yourself obsessively thinking about him. i understand wanting to detach from your feelings, especially when they feel hopeless—i’d say that’s how most newfound feelings start out—but it’s okay to indulge in a crush!! the feeling of unattainability, at least in my historic experience lol, only intensifies the romantic feelings because then there’s a degree of separation between you (and what you think is in your reach) and the fantasy that you create in your head. most importantly: don’t be so hard on yourself!! ♡ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Belkiss 22,803 Posted September 17, 2022 Share Posted September 17, 2022 first of all don't hate yourself. What you're feeling is normal to answer your question: time or a new attraction 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trashie 10,243 Posted September 17, 2022 Share Posted September 17, 2022 It’s ok it’s normal idk why you hate yourself for that love is so beautiful itself, all this delusions and randomly popping up on your head is so cute idk why you want to lose those beautiful feelings, don’t judge what gonna happen so fast you never know and even if it ended up as unrequited love idt it’s something to regret or hate, those butterflies and happy thoughts are worth it as long as nothing ends up ugly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stell 5,502 Posted September 17, 2022 Share Posted September 17, 2022 (edited) Seems like you like the idea of this person, you don't really know him. Just imagine him doing something extremely unattractive like picking his nose and then eating it. Edited September 17, 2022 by stell 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iKnife BurnCat 1,729 Posted September 17, 2022 Share Posted September 17, 2022 It will pass, eventually.. that's really all I can say 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
love 8,778 Posted September 17, 2022 Share Posted September 17, 2022 i’ve heard somewhere that the more fearful you are of (or in this case, certain of) rejection, the more you’ll obsess over the other person since it gives you some semblance of control over the situation. i have found this to be quite true in my own experience. perhaps the best way to ease yourself through this phase is coming to terms with the normalcy of it. you’re not crazy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nev Schulman 7,938 Posted September 17, 2022 Share Posted September 17, 2022 Imagine someone you didn't like would be feeling the same way you did and imagining y'all together, are you okay with that? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chocolatten 22 Posted September 18, 2022 Author Share Posted September 18, 2022 i went out yesterday after writing this post to take a breath and touch some grass i think its just stress in my daily life thats making romantic feelings unbearable right now 22 hours ago, stell said: Seems like you like the idea of this person, you don't really know him. Just imagine him doing something extremely unattractive like picking his nose and then eating it. lmao 21 hours ago, love said: i’ve heard somewhere that the more fearful you are of (or in this case, certain of) rejection, the more you’ll obsess over the other person since it gives you some semblance of control over the situation. i have found this to be quite true in my own experience. perhaps the best way to ease yourself through this phase is coming to terms with the normalcy of it. you’re not crazy. yes this seems like my problem, i always pick the people that are impossible for me to get then wonder why i get rejected.. i need to learn how to accept my feelings are take better notice of other people's feelings... 21 hours ago, Nev Schulman said: Imagine someone you didn't like would be feeling the same way you did and imagining y'all together, are you okay with that? i am actually ok with that. im not bothering him, and he doesnt know how i feel about him. its just all in my head rn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nev Schulman 7,938 Posted September 18, 2022 Share Posted September 18, 2022 24 minutes ago, chocolatten said: i went out yesterday after writing this post to take a breath and touch some grass i think its just stress in my daily life thats making romantic feelings unbearable right now lmao yes this seems like my problem, i always pick the people that are impossible for me to get then wonder why i get rejected.. i need to learn how to accept my feelings are take better notice of other people's feelings... i am actually ok with that. im not bothering him, and he doesnt know how i feel about him. its just all in my head rn So you are ok with someone who you don't like fantasizing about you? Each to his or her own 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lexi.K 3,161 Posted September 21, 2022 Share Posted September 21, 2022 What's stopping you from going for it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
in good taste 213 Posted September 28, 2022 Share Posted September 28, 2022 I used to feel this way towards people I barely know because it's the mystery that's so alluring and I'm left to fill in the gaps with my own ideals or what I hope for the person to be like deep down. These are just fantasies so you're not really seeing the person as they are but as you want them to be. You don't know this person at all, you're heartbroken over a fantasy you've made up in your head. People are srsly so messy and all over the place when you get to really know them. This is why idols are such a sham because they're only showing what they want us to see. It's the same with people we barely know. Im in a secure relationship rn but even so there are things about my partner that I don't like/find difficult to understand. It was so different from when we first got to know one another and we said we liked EVERYTHING about each other. Lol Shoot your shot I guess, and wait for the disillusionment. I swear it will come lmao. And then you decide from there if you still like that person or not, if it's something you can bear with or not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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