Do you feel like you embarrassed yourself even though you didn't?

[Anii]

Hi OH!

Being socially awkward, I find it difficult to do social stuff that the average person normally wouldn't. Today, I sat with three co-workers and their friend for lunch. I'm close with only two of them so it was little difficult for me to talk normally with the other two and participate in the conversation. If I try to look at the overall interaction, I don't think I embarrassed myself. I think I did quite well considering my anxiety, barring a few quirks that will always be part of my personality.

But for some reason, I feel embarrassed about myself. Have you ever felt like this and is there anything you do to help yourself in such situations? Thanks!

 

[Ghosty]

i'm the same as you! i constantly overthink and i'm always on my toes. "did i pronounce this word wrong?" "why am i moving my hands so much?" 

but i just remind myself that i'm probably overthinking it! by the end of the day, you would've been through so much, including your coworkers, that your "embarrassing" actions are probably not even on their mind at all! bonus points if they're preoccupied with something lately.

plus, like you said yourself, those embarrassing actions are probably not even embarassing in the first place! 

[Cheese_it]

Haha all the damn time. I overanalyze whether I appear like an idiot or if I said something awkward. The more I analyze every second of the conversation, the more nervous I get ugh. I can't even concentrate on the subject and wish the hang out ends asap. Even after the social event ends, I cry at home and beat myself up.

It used to be really bad that I prevented myself from talking to new people. But I did read online that that people are only thinking about themselves. They are concerned about their personal problems and their mind wanders elsewhere. Another tip that helps is that I'm in control of who I interact with. If I don't enjoy the conversation myself, I will not talk with them much. I have to judge if I feel happiness or dreadful whenever I encounter a new individual. Typically I gravitate to those who are nonjudgmental and accepting of who I am

[Anii]

7 hours ago, Ghosty said:

i'm the same as you! i constantly overthink and i'm always on my toes. "did i pronounce this word wrong?" "why am i moving my hands so much?" 

but i just remind myself that i'm probably overthinking it! by the end of the day, you would've been through so much, including your coworkers, that your "embarrassing" actions are probably not even on their mind at all! bonus points if they're preoccupied with something lately.

plus, like you said yourself, those embarrassing actions are probably not even embarassing in the first place! 

I feel better knowing that I'm not the only one who does this. Thank you for replying and sharing useful advice!

7 hours ago, Cheese_it said:

Haha all the damn time. I overanalyze whether I appear like an idiot or if I said something awkward. The more I analyze every second of the conversation, the more nervous I get ugh. I can't even concentrate on the subject and wish the hang out ends asap. Even after the social event ends, I cry at home and beat myself up.

It used to be really bad that I prevented myself from talking to new people. But I did read online that that people are only thinking about themselves. They are concerned about their personal problems and their mind wanders elsewhere. Another tip that helps is that I'm in control of who I interact with. If I don't enjoy the conversation myself, I will not talk with them much. I have to judge if I feel happiness or dreadful whenever I encounter a new individual. Typically I gravitate to those who are nonjudgmental and accepting of who I am

Thank you so much for sharing your experience. I totally relate to wanting any social event to end even if it just started. Thank you for the helpful tips!

[starsocks]

11 hours ago, Anii said:

that the average person normally wouldn't

trust me, it's a super normal human thing!

it probably happens to lots of people around you but you just can't tell, and in the same way, they probably can't tell how you're feeling

try to remember that most people are in the same boat and maybe it won't feel as daunting

[Anii]

7 hours ago, starsocks said:

trust me, it's a super normal human thing!

it probably happens to lots of people around you but you just can't tell, and in the same way, they probably can't tell how you're feeling

try to remember that most people are in the same boat and maybe it won't feel as daunting

Thanks a lot . That definitely helps!