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Why can't I have what I want? I think I'm losing my mind.


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Why can't I have what I want need?

I'm in love? Ithink? I don't know? But I'm slowly losing my mind. I want him, no, I need him. Life is so unfair, why can't I have what I need? I wanna touch him, hold him. Even just once would be good enough for me. I dream of him daily. When will this obsession stop? When will I get over him? I wanna move on, this is hurting me too much. He so far away. I'm starting to think of doing things I never done before. Should I slip into his DM? Ridiculous, he doesn't even update his social media. Plus, I never DM a celebrity before and I think it's weird when people/fans do that. Like why would you do that, they ain't gonna reply to you. But I need a peace of mind. Maybe I should slip into his son's DM, after he likes Jamaican women lol, I'm just joking about that part.

I seriously need help, I wish someone would just use a stick and beat me with and tell me to snap tf out of it. This isn't me, I don't feel like myself. I'm normally (sometimes) in control of myself, but now I can't...

- He's 46 years older than me

- He's married

- Have 4 children (who are all older than me)

No, I don't dream about him in that way. I need him, but I know it will never happen that's why it hurt so much. I wanna know him, I google everyday. It's comforting but it's very distracting because I have work & school. Why do I feel this way & why now? I never liked anybody before, why now? why do I like him so much?

Why, why, why, why, why, why, WHY!?

It's so frustrating, WHY CAN'T I HAVE WHAT I WANT? IT'S UNFAIR. I NEVER ASK FOR ANYTHING BEFORE BUT THIS, THIS THAT I TRULY WANT, I CAN'T HAVE.

Well it felt good to say this out loud. God bless.

Edited by loveablejoy
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  • loveablejoy changed the title to Why can't I have what I want? I think I'm losing my mind.

I'm going to give you some advice I learned at an early age, 12. Step away from this celebrity. Take a step back. Stop looking up about him. I used to obsessed with AJ from the backstreet boys when I was younger. My mom will tell you I was UPSET when he was engaged the first time. Luckily for me, a few months later I found a new genre of music, rock. I stopped caring about him for awhile until a few years ago. I'm so happy that he has a family now. I'm happy for him. 

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You're only in love with the idea of him, you don't know who he really is. This isn't love and it is one-sided. I suggest you spend more time for yourself instead of constantly thinking about a celebrity... let's say you do decide to DM him, why would you want to be with a guy who would step out on his marriage/family? please have some sense. never put anybody on a pedestal, you will be disappointed every single time. I hope you snap out of this obsession because this is borderline creepy (sorry). I don't want to make you feel bad but there needs to be a line drawn between being a fan and becoming obsessed with someone. If you feel that this is taking over your life, then it is probably best to seek professional help - that will probably help more since most users aren't qualified in stuff like this

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1 hour ago, cereal said:

why would you want to be with a guy who would step out on his marriage/family?

It would be sad tbh. I don't wanna hurt his wife...but I'm too selfish for that.

And it would never happen

1 hour ago, cereal said:

let's say you do decide to DM him

Maybe I should?

I'm too nervous. It's not gonna work anyway, I'm so stupid.

Alright, I'm going to do it? What should I say?

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1 minute ago, loveablejoy said:

It would be sad tbh. I don't wanna hurt his wife...but I'm too selfish for that.

And it would never happen

Maybe I should?

I'm too nervous. It's not gonna work anyway, I'm so stupid.

Alright, I'm going to do it? What should I say?

Just remember you are merely a fan. There's nothing...he'd do. I DMed TOP after he started an IG live where he was saying how depressed he was but I knew I would receive no response. Just wanted to tell him he's loved by many. 

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11 minutes ago, rananicolee said:

Just remember you are merely a fan. There's nothing...he'd do. I DMed TOP after he started an IG live where he was saying how depressed he was but I knew I would receive no response. Just wanted to tell him he's loved by many. 

....

Quick question. How you DM someone on Twitter?

All I want him to do is to "hi", just a "hi" and I'm good to go.

Edited by loveablejoy
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4 minutes ago, rananicolee said:

go to their profile and see if they have an envelope where it says "following". If it doesn't then you can't DM the person. 

...He turned it off, that bastard!

 

Now, I'm mad. And I'm watching a movie he stars in right now.....I'm disappointed.

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