An apology to OHers.

[Mrs. Morale]

Good day y'all. I hope y'all are doing fine. I made this thread because...
Where do even start?

I'm so sorry for the way I have been behaving for the pass few days. I was behaving inconsiderate & I know things I did was very wrong. Hyunjin has become a really big part of my life, I let him influence my behaviour, it's  not just Hyunjin but because I'm overall just an awful person. Anything concerning to Hyunjin I would get angry. I got so blinded by anger that I said a lot of mean things. I'm especially sorry for my comments on in that Mingyu thread, I know what I did was wrong (even before commenting) & I said it because honestly I wanted to piss y'all off + those my true feeling (yeah trash, right?). I know what is sexual harassment, I understand it, I'm not stupid but in that moment out of angry & dismal of the victim feels I said those things. It's weird because I don't even stan SVT, I don't even know which one is Mingyu. I was angry because he was going through the same thing as Hyunjin. I can't imagine someone who has experience sexual harassment reading my post. I'm sorry if trigger you or make you feel invalid. It's very inappropriate to make fun of such serious topic. 

I have become so obsess with Hyunjin, I don't know why I am obsessed with him (I think i have finally found that out now) but he makes me happy. When I saw that he was going a hiatus, it hurt me because I thought my happiness was being taken away from.

I have decided to let go of Hyunjin. I realize that he didn't just affected my online life but also my real life, it was so hard focusing in tests & studying for exams because of him. I let myself believe he was the victim & that he was being ripped apart & I needed to protect him. I love Hyunjin, that it was enough for me to throw all my morals outside, I know what is wrong from right but I didn't care when it came to him.
I'll be taking a break, I'll be back in a few days. In the meantime I'll getting rid of anything relating to Hyunjin, I don't want see him, hear him, etc. It's the end. I'm getting rid of all the letters, song, photos, etc that I wrote for him but that's going to very hard. I'll probably won't have the courage to do that  I'll lock them away for sure but can't burn mor delete them. It's crazy I have been in kpop for so long but I never become so obsessed with anyone. Within 4 months he has corrupted my life. I looked at myself & why I am so obsessed with him. Few minutes ago I was crying because my mom was yelling at & felt really useless. In the moment all wanted to do was just search up some videos with Hyunjin. I started stanning Hyunjin in October 2020 at that time things weren't so good but it better than September at least. I knew Hyunjin before then but I didn't really pay him any mind. I watched a video of him during that time, I don't remember what video it was but it made me happy. My heart felt warm, I love that feeling. I wanted to feel like that forever. I got so obsessed that watch videos of him nonstop. I was happy, but I have to let him go because I can't go on like this.

I know it has little to do with my obsession with Hyunjin, but more with that I'm just awful person...
To all the OHer I have hurt (I remember I personally insulted someone, @satoori). I'm so sorry for my comments, my inappropriate way, for making a complete fool out of myself, for dismissing the victims, for treating sexual harrassment as a joke, for letting my obsession get to my head, and for hurting any of you. 

And I apologize to @satoori for telling you about your private area. That was so inappropriate & out of order. I wasn't raise like this, I am honestly so sorry.

It's weird that I find it easy to apologize online but wouldn't have the courage to do it in real life even the things I said on here I wouldn't have say them in real life.

it may not be enough, but it's all I have. I'm going to take a break soon.I'll be back in a few days.

Edited February 28, 2021 by loveablejoy

[Tayenne]

No idea what happened but apologizing is always the right step so you good that you owned up.

[abra]

You're good! Sometimes we go too far when we feel strongly for someone and are in a bad place psychologically. I think you're right in that your interest in Hyunjin was bordering on obsession which was hurting your judgement and your every day life, but sometimes that happens and it's good that you have realized that yourself. Please don't take it too harshly or berate yourself over it! I hope you can still appreciate the good that liking Hyunjin has done for you but that you learn and have a healthier relationship with yourself and celebrities in the future. 

 

(not going to speak about the satoori situation as I didn't see it, but at least it's good that you apologized)

Edited February 28, 2021 by abra

[Corysilk]

Don't you DARE APOLOGIZE!  What did you do wrong other than support your bias?!  You didn't disrespect the victims or the victim supporters so why are you the bad guy?  Besides what Hyunjin did was wrong but he had good intentions.  He only wanted the poor kids to have enough food to eat so he did the only thing he could think of to make it happen.  Should he have yelled at those rich kids who were eating all the lunch food...NO!  But he was only a child so you can't expect him to have a mature conversation with them and ask them to think of the poor students who don't have meals at home!

Still Hyunjin could have told a teacher so I understand why people are upset.  No matter how noble your reasons are you really shouldn't raise your voice at others because they could be in a fragile state like the victims. 

[Hizu]

I think you were being extreme in obsessing over Hyunjin and now with getting rid of him like that. 
Hyunjin was a mean kid, and it's something every fan should be able to admit. But he also owned up to his past mistakes pretty quickly and responded to his controversy in a textbook way, so I don't think suddenly deleting him from your life is a rational reaction. 

On the other hand you are right in distancing yourself from him, because obsession is dangerous. I hope you'll be able to return to kpop in a healthier way and stan Hyunjin without becoming obsessed again.

[Mrs. Morale]

22 minutes ago, Hizu said:

I think you were being extreme in obsessing over Hyunjin and now with getting rid of him like that. 
Hyunjin was a mean kid, and it's something every fan should be able to admit. But he also owned up to his past mistakes pretty quickly and responded to his controversy in a textbook way, so I don't think suddenly deleting him from your life is a rational reaction. 

On the other hand you are right in distancing yourself from him, because obsession is dangerous. I hope you'll be able to return to kpop in a healthier way and stan Hyunjin without becoming obsessed again.

I'm not getting rid of him completely, I know I will be back but at the moment the way I feel is too much so I'm going stay away from home completely. I'll be there once he comes back but I'm not to be like before 

Edit: It just came to that one of my new years revolution was to stop obsessing over him. At that time it was a joke, then this happen & I realized the extent of my obsession. 

Spend a lot time on him. Now it's biting me in the ass cause I have a project due this Thursday but instead of working on it, I spend the last few days fighting over Hyunjin.

Edited February 28, 2021 by loveablejoy

[Hizu]

21 minutes ago, loveablejoy said:

I'm not getting rid of him completely, I know I will be back but at the moment the way I feel is too much so I'm going stay away from home completely. I'll be there once he comes back but I'm not to be like before 

Edit: It just came to that one of my new years revolution was to stop obsessing over him. At that time it was a joke, then this happen & I realized the extent of my obsession. 

Spend a lot time on him. Now it's biting me in the ass cause I have a project due this Thursday but instead of working on it, I spend the last few days fighting over Hyunjin.

You know, I understand what you're going through in some ways. Of course my bias has never been in this sort of scandal, but there's been a time when I dedicated most of my time to fighting over Baekhyun back in 2014 when he was dating Taeyeon. If you really like him this much, I think if you completely get rid of him you'll regret it, but yes, temporarily distancing yourself will be a good thing for sure. 

[Guest]

You are not aweful person sweety, but i'm glad u decided to focus on yourself ^^ Mental health is the most important thing. And if all this drama makes u sad, anxious or lose focus on important matters (ex exams) it's always a good thing to step back. You can come back whenever u feel ready and stable again. It's good to realize we have a life besides kpop too Take care and good luck in your life 

Edited March 1, 2021 by Guest

[Mrs. Morale]

2 hours ago, NothingOriginal said:

You are not aweful person sweety, but i'm glad u decided to focus on yourself ^^ Mental health is the most important thing. And if all this drama makes u sad, anxious or lose focus on important matters (ex exams) it's always a good thing to step back. You can come back whenever u feel ready and stable again. It's good to realize we have a life besides kpop too Take care and good luck in your life 

Thank you so much! ☺