How could Hyunjin do this? Pt. 2 on bully accusation~

[Mrs. Morale]

Hey...it's me again. How y'all doing?~

I made a thread a day ago on my feels about Hyunjin's bullying accusations but I stated before that my feelings has changed by then & that I will made an updated thread... well this it~

 

After  I reading the some of the posts by victim, I was very angry. I don't know how he could have done this? Like, I'm so confused & hurt. Why would he go out of his way to hurt someone who did nothing him. Is he that low? Then I look at myself, I decide to look at myself to see if I was like this when I was 12 years old.

When I was 11 - 12 years old I was in my second & finally year of primary school. Honestly, I wasn't the nicest person, but I would never go out of my way to make someone feel less than they should. Yes, I had called people ugly, b*tch, wh*res, etc. There was this particular girl who I was especially mean to because I was annoyed by her. I did hate her at first because she was interfering into my friendship, I felt like she was try to steal my friends away from me + she use to give the boys money just to make them like her. I was very annoyed & thought she was very stupid. Let's refer to this girl as Sir. Honestly, all of us in the class in one way or another picked on Sir, but I was kinda the ring leader, I was more outspoken (surprise, surprise, ha ha ha. Me outspoken in primary school so much has change now I can'teven ask to use the bathroom), so I was told I was to go up to her tell her these things. When I told her these things, I was afraid. I wasn't afraid because I was being mean, I was afraid because I was nervous. I remember calling her a wh*re, and shaked. My hands was shaking, especially when she was crying. I didn't really feel sorry in that moment, but didn't want her to cry neither. What was weird is that I fought with Sir every 2 weeks & then go back to being friends, I remember when graduating we were all on good terms, but we never apologize to each other. I was more mean to her, she barely did anything to me as a matter of fact she did nothing at all. I was just mad she was going away her money to boys & steal my friends. People have said mean things to me but I just ignore it. I never got physical with anyone. I didn't realize how sh*tty I was until I was 13, few months after starting high school. I started to learn & explore the world more, that's when I realized I was a bully & I was bullied. I thought it was funny, just a game. I never really considered to be bullying, just friends messing around. We threw sh*t at each other then go back to being friends, being a child was weird. I also said some "jokes" to other people but in that moment, I didn't realize how much it would have hurt them. They were very insensitive, like making fun their looks & then other days I praise them. I wonder if they took my jokes too seriously. I was young & I thought I was being funny, I never really consider them to be ugly. I thought it was just a joke among friends. I wonder if what I said to her & others stick with them until today. Biggest thing is that I knew I was sh*tty since I was 13, still haven't apologize & still think about it almost every week. I  wish I could apologize but I can't because honestly I don't have the guts to. I only talked to 6/24 people from my class since graduating from primary school.

Then I look at Hyunjin, I wonder if he felt any remorse before or is he only feeling sorry now because he's being called out? Was because of pride and stubbornness that cause him not to apologize before? Or did he apologize before? I know mine and Hyunjin's situation might be different. Hyunjin was a out tight bully who went out of his way to hurt someone who dine him no harm. I was having a pity competition with this friend & we were extremely mean to each other even tho we were friends after awhile.

But why would Hyunjin torture her tho? Like, the boy wouldn't study his book & leave her alone? Didn't he feel sorry while she stand there & cry in front of him? I knew honestly wouldn't be able to take it~

Edit: I guess I was also very insensitive to the victim. It's just that I love Hyunjin so much to point I got so angry. I forget he's not the victim, it's her. I just came back home from celebrating my bday & cried for him because everyone was attacking him...may be he deserves it...but can't let myself think that he should be treated like this. I will pray for him, the victims & me, we all need it~

Edited February 28, 2021 by loveablejoy
With all my love~

[starsocks]

please don't worry yourself too much over this

it's a sucky situation, but it is what it is

[kwal]

Take a break, you need it. 

[soman]

1 hour ago, loveablejoy said:

I would never go out of my way to make someone feel less than they should.

 

1 hour ago, loveablejoy said:

There was this particular girl who I was especially mean to because I was annoyed by her. Honestly, all of us in the class in one way or another picked on Sir, but I was kinda the ring leader

These are very contradictory statements, just saying

 

[Mrs. Morale]

7 minutes ago, soman said:

 

These are very contradictory statements, just saying

 

We (the class) will sit down & talk about her. After we discuss the situation as a class then I'll be the one to tell her, I never came up with plan nor the things to say. I refer to myself as the ring leader because I was the one who communicated the information (to her)~

[soman]

2 minutes ago, loveablejoy said:

We (the class) will sit down & talk about her. After we discuss the situation as a class then I'll be the one to tell her, I never came up with plan nor the things to say. I refer to myself as the ring leader because I was the one who communicated the information (to her)~

The whole class sat down and discussed what kind of insults they wanted to tell this girl and they sent you to call her a whore or other insults and this happened multiple times. This girl's life sounds like hell... A lot of people hated me but at least the whole class didn't orchestrate a plan to bring me down like that. And the fact you didn't think you were being mean, didn't feel sorry (even after she cried), and never apologized is so scary.

[Mrs. Morale]

2 minutes ago, soman said:

The whole class sat down and discussed what kind of insults they wanted to tell this girl and they sent you to call her a whore or other insults and this happened multiple times. This girl's life sounds like hell... A lot of people hated me but at least the whole class didn't orchestrate a plan to bring me down like that. And the fact you didn't think you were being mean, didn't feel sorry (even after she cried), and never apologized is so scary.

 

1 hour ago, loveablejoy said:

I didn't realize how sh*tty I was until I was 13, few months after starting high school. Biggest thing is that I knew I was sh*tty since I was 13, still haven't apologize & still think about it almost every week. I  wish I could apologize but I can't because honestly I don't have the guts to.

 

[soman]

2 minutes ago, loveablejoy said:

 

 

You saw someone cried and only a year or two later realized you were wrong. I dont care why you never apologized, you never apologized, that's all the victim knows. And even tho you said yourself you were shitty, you are also saying that you never made someone feel less than they should, that what you did wasn't bullying but just a "pity competition." Honestly i read your post again, and there are even more contradictory statements

 

1 hour ago, loveablejoy said:

she barely did anything to me as a matter of fact she did nothing at all

 

1 hour ago, loveablejoy said:

we were extremely mean to each other 

Like what the hell are ypu on about???

[Mrs. Morale]

1 minute ago, soman said:

You saw someone cried and only a year or two later realized you were wrong. I dont care why you never apologized, you never apologized, that's all the victim knows. And even tho you said yourself you were shitty, you are also saying that you never made someone feel less than they should, that what you did wasn't bullying but just a "pity competition." Honestly i read your post again, and there are even more contradictory statements

 

 

Like what the hell are ypu on about???

Because I was mean person & takes a lot to admit. Yes, I made her cried & it shook me up but I wasn't sorry at that time. I will never apologize even if we talked at graduation. I know I was wrong, I guess I will have to live with that guilt for the rest of my life~

[pinkpanda_spirit]

Well no wonder you defend hyunjin, you also talked to your classmates like sh*t

[Mrs. Morale]

5 minutes ago, pinkpanda_spirit said:

Well no wonder you defend hyunjin, you also talked to your classmates like sh*t

What can I say? I was piece shit, may be am still the same person.. may be have fooling myself thinking that I changed. But I know for sure that I did regret what happened~

[Mrs. Morale]

I was thinking about giving up on Hyunjin. But maybe we deserve each other? What we did was very messed up. There is nothing we can to change the past....Maybe we deserve nothing at all? Maybe we don't deserve to be here?~

 

I love you, goodbye

I don't want to let go, I don't think I want to, I can't....maybe~

[eli]

i hope u enjoyed ur birthday, how old are you now?

[Mrs. Morale]

1 minute ago, eli said:

i hope u enjoyed ur birthday, how old are you now?

Thanks! ❤

I was hoping no one ask. I'm suppose to be ashamed...I'm 17+2 (nineteen years) I prefer to say 17+2

[Ghosty]

your constant “~” makes it sound like you’re not very genuine. not to mention, you literally posted a gif of an actress crying to express yourself despite how serious your story seemed. 

33 minutes ago, loveablejoy said:

I was thinking about giving up on Hyunjin. But maybe we deserve each other? What we did was very messed up. There is nothing we can to change the past....Maybe we deserve nothing at all? Maybe we don't deserve to be here?~

 

I love you, goodbye

I don't want to let go, I don't think I want to, I can't....maybe~

you can’t change the past, but you can make decisions that will affect your future. honestly, you seem fine that you have to live with the guilt of bullying your classmate. and i doubt that you even feel guilt considering how tone deaf this post is. all i’m gonna say, as a victim of past bullying, if you truly feel guilty, just own up to it, apologize, and stop making yourself the biggest victim out of this situation just because you’re being eaten up by guilt of your own doings. 

if you regret it, apologize. if you don’t want to feel guilt anymore, apologize. it doesn’t matter if you don’t have the guts to do it or not. if you feel those things like you’ve claimed to, you would do it. you and many others may think that bullying at 12 years old is no big deal, but that is so far from the truth. many people i know, including myself, have been traumatized by experiences of bullying as early as 9 years old. 

[Mrs. Morale]

4 hours ago, Ghosty said:

your constant “~” makes it sound like you’re not very genuine. not to mention, you literally posted a gif of an actress crying to express yourself despite how serious your story seemed. 

you can’t change the past, but you can make decisions that will affect your future. honestly, you seem fine that you have to live with the guilt of bullying your classmate. and i doubt that you even feel guilt considering how tone deaf this post is. all i’m gonna say, as a victim of past bullying, if you truly feel guilty, just own up to it, apologize, and stop making yourself the biggest victim out of this situation just because you’re being eaten up by guilt of your own doings. 

if you regret it, apologize. if you don’t want to feel guilt anymore, apologize. it doesn’t matter if you don’t have the guts to do it or not. if you feel those things like you’ve claimed to, you would do it. you and many others may think that bullying at 12 years old is no big deal, but that is so far from the truth. many people i know, including myself, have been traumatized by experiences of bullying as early as 9 years old. 

Oh, sorry about "~" I didn't realize that would come off that way. 

Yes, I can't chamge the past. I know I should apologize but seriously I can't. Tbh when I look what I have done, I do feel sorry. I know what's right from wrong, I'm not stupid but I do let my emotions get the best of me. I'm not the same person I was in primary school, I'm not that outspoken girl like before. I'm more reserved & shy, it's honestly surprising how I want from insulting people to hiding away in the corner. I think I became reserved because I knew the things I have done, I use to yell a lot of insult, now I barely open my mouth. I don't even like being shy. I don't like to conform things because am scared. And I don't know nor talk to anyone from my primary school. I just hated everything I have done. I don't like the feeling of living with this guilt but if I was to choose it over apologize, then I would.

[Corysilk]

No you got wrong!  From what I read the only thing he did was yell at the students because they were eating all the lunch food and the poor kids weren't able to eat anything!  I think the bully "victims" were rich spoiled kids or something.  Anyway I don't agree that Hyunjin should have yelled at them, but he was doing it to protect the poor kids.  I don't know I'm just conflicted.  Of course its wrong to hurt peoples feelings that way.  He should have told the teachers or asked them politely to leave some food for the poor kids who don't eat much at home.  But then again like you said he was only 12/13 so how much maturity can you expect?

[Usagi.]

What's this thread ksjsjsnksksja

[Mrs. Morale]

24 minutes ago, Corysilk said:

No you got wrong!  From what I read the only thing he did was yell at the students because they were eating all the lunch food and the poor kids weren't able to eat anything!  I think the bully "victims" were rich spoiled kids or something.  Anyway I don't agree that Hyunjin should have yelled at them, but he was doing it to protect the poor kids.  I don't know I'm just conflicted.  Of course its wrong to hurt peoples feelings that way.  He should have told the teachers or asked them politely to leave some food for the poor kids who don't eat much at home.  But then again like you said he was only 12/13 so how much maturity can you expect?

I'm confused, what...?

[Guest]

Girl u gotta stop doing these threads! Let Hyunjin and jyp sort their own things. You almost getting into a controversy too. It's not worth it. 

[Mrs. Morale]

6 hours ago, NothingOriginal said:

Girl u gotta stop doing these threads! Let Hyunjin and jyp sort their own things. You almost getting into a controversy too. It's not worth it. 

Update: Thread

 

My thoughts have changed. I'm now moving on. You can read my apology & my new thoughts in the link above.

[Guest]

1 hour ago, loveablejoy said:

Update: Thread

 

My thoughts have changed. I'm now moving on. You can read my apology & my new thoughts in the link above.

I'm glad. Kpop is shouldn't be the center of our lifes. Just a hobby and smth u enjoy ^^ Take care