I just want to give up on love </3

[mukka_chan]

 

long post alert (and bad english alert cuz I'm kinda rusty)

How it started

So, I met a guy on Tinder late August.. I had a lot of bad relationship experiences using dating apps so I was a bit apprehensive about all... but we ended up liking each others, we had a lot of mutual interersts / hobbies. I wanted to go slowly and he was the one who started to rush things and when he kissed me in our second date (2 weeks before the first one but take in consideration we texted each others every single day).

During the last months everything was perfect.. we usually met like once or twice per week but we talked a lot by txts ( from dawn till night.. ). We were in a sorta of a situationship... I never wanted to pressure him to make it offical and to be honest I thought he was the one for life so I was feeling steady.

The break up:

This past week, everything started going down... I was feeling him very off with the typical  "loosing interest" signs: empathic text replies and not lovey-dovey replies... effortless to keep a conversation, didn't want to go out...   He said he was struggling with his mental health... I also know what is to have mental health issues and for me this isn't a excuse at all, I tried to help him the much I could.. always tried to cheer him up and I'm aware that for more comforting my words are it's not enought to help someone with a mental health condition..

Although It seems he is better off, in the bottom of my heart I just want him to be happy even if I'm the one who is not ... I suggested  him we should just have a break and not a break up and  I'll wait the time he needed to heal or feel better but he doens't want that.... I tried to make him see I was also suffering with our beak up but he didn't care

Now I'm feeling very maniac, obsessive and psychotic.. I can't forget him and I'm in pain... lately I've been having anxiety attacks just because I'm not ready to live my bored life without him... he was my silver lining who made me forget about all of my problems... now he's just another problem in my life. I can't stop stalking his social media profiles, and I'm feeling very insecure cause sometimes I feel like he just found another person.

Edited November 10, 2020 by mukka_chan

[deobizone]

I had similar...but opposite exp recently so i dunno if i can offer much good advice but..

From like may to sept i was talking with my ex i lost contact w four like almost 6 yrs since i dumped her. And it was great for momths. Its odd to think of this now but i was in bliss & def thought of her as the loml,, felt so lucky it felt unreal. Nothing really happened to undo it. Admittedly i was a little creeped bc whenever i vented on this forum she'd msg me hrs l8r pertaining to that.  And honestly clingy..is fine to me. Its flattering to know someone love u that much. But there's limits. I have my own personal life and thoughts that if shes privy to, ill let ha know.  So ig something did sorta happen. But that was just a turn off for me that my feelings dissipated. That and i was kind of short with messages sometimes in last few weeks. We even went week w/o talking bc she assumed i need space (i have avpd) when i had short msges when it was just bcs my job. And she told me   you can have space but you have to tell me first ... sis i was the last to msg and you didn't reply until this what 🗣

Sorry for mini venting there instead of advice hhhh but i mean when i end it i was like.  Do i have to say sumn? I kinda just wanted to ghost cuz it became too serious and awk. And i was personally torn bc i felt like a pos. Like dumping same person twice Feels like im such a bad person. But reflecting on the relationship. Ngl the vibes were slipping and then that sumn happened turn me off completely. And i could lie and fake it. Like i rnr i had these thoughts on the 1 day off i have the week...to just msg consistently thru the day and not that i didn't enjoy it but it was slightly forced on my end. And for me rn. Being single is a relief. I don't have crush, relationship, hung over ex. I prolly haven't felt this since my preteens tbh. Like ig what im saying is... for me, there is no one else. And theres no malice or anything in my mind. It just wasnt right for me. 

Idk how to help in getting over someone... i realized this recently that ive had crushes.. but if i have ex or fling who hurt me. The feelings just disappear. Bc what am i hurting for someone who doesnt love me for tbh... i guess what id suggest thinking of is that its for the best and regardless how euphoric this situatiom was before... it hurt you so just do your best to move on. Being alone is boring yea but better than being with or thinking of someone not good for you. Im 23 and had several flings and like.. 3 lomg term relationships and have not had healthy, long term love. But i think love is out there... maybe some day for me. 

Edited November 10, 2020 by deobizone

[Oli London]

I'm bad at comforting people but, hang on there. These feelings will pass one day!

[alt]

My mom always say that "when we eat the best burger ever, we think we never gonna try something even close to that. But, the next week, we surely find out a better one".

 

There are two ways here: you get back together or you forget about him. Both of them are really complicated and none of them are gonna be solved in the near future (although your post is 3 months old right now). Yep, we cry, we get desperate, we think love is problematic and stuff... We miss them, we feel we never gonna forget... But someday you will. May be soon, may be later.

 

You surely have goals in life. People who care about you, and people who you care about. You probably have hobbies, maybe you study or work... So you have reasons to keep on going in life. Ya, our heart gets hurt eventually, but we have way more things to do. You gonna find a nice guy!