I feel like I would never become a women.

[Delphine]

I had the exact same feeling when I was 18 years old too, it's... difficult to parse what it means to be a woman, and how to become one, or, sometimes, if you even want to become one. I personally finally came to terms with my womanhood and let it flourish between my 23rd and 25th years, those years were very important for me in terms of development and I learned a lot of things about myself then. It's a journey, and each have their own, it's not a competition and never should be, but I also wholly understand the feeling of lagging behind when you see so many people around you looking like they figured it out and are comfortable. Most of the times though, they're either faking it, or going in blind hoping something sticks.

This is why I related a lot to IU's 23 and IU's Palette. I feel like these songs perfectly encompassed what my mindset was during those times. You feel lost, you feel anxious, you don't know what you're doing, and you don't really know yourself nor what you want to be, nor how to understand and integrate womanhood to yourself, but there's also something exciting about that period, where you can try, stumble and try again differently, slowly but surely to discover who you are and who you want to be.

Sorry for the essay, just know that it's a process, and that you're gonna get through it

 

PS: I'm in my early thirties, but I still don't feel like an adult yet either lmao. But I know myself better for sure, it's a little bit less hectic now than it used to be 10 years ago. Growing up is truly interesting!

Edited August 10, 2020 by Delphine