[Trigger warning][Koreaboo] Former AOA Member Mina Takes Aim At Jimin Again, From Her Suicide Attempts And Jimin’s Torment, To FNC Not Caring ( translation of mina's instagram post)

[J!NX]

Former AOA member Mina uploaded a series of posts, once again taking fire at Jimin for the torment she caused to both herself and her family.

She posted her first, longest message directed towards Jimin on Instagram at 8:01 pm KST, explaining the torment Jimin caused her and her family, and Jimin’s name permanently on any suicide note she wrote.

 

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Looks like it will be hard to get an apology from you. Whenever a new manager comes, she tells them ‘thats the scary bitch who pretends to be a fool’. Why would I pretend to be an idiot if I am a scary bitch?

When I come back from an audition, you’re just like ‘I don’t know what you’re doing’. If I work hard on my diet because I want my face to come out well, you say ‘Mina, what’s up with your body? I fucking hate what I’m seeing, lose some weight.’

When I was a trainee, you slapped me and said ‘it’s because you were at the front.’ We had to say ‘Good night’, ‘Yes, I’m sorry’, and ‘Thank you’ [to you].

Unconditionally, you would bring people to the dorm, and go do as you wish. It got so loud, that I had to go to the practice room to sleep.

‘Hey, does it seem like XX changed recently?’ You would take turns cursing me out to the other members, saying a lot of things I can’t say here.

Ah, there was one time at the shop where I didn’t greet you first and I heard something, do you remember?

And I’ve only written the ‘weak’ ones. There have been a lot more over the past 10 years, but I have to take it easy now.

I have nothing to lose, but worse, nothing to fear because of you? The thing I feared most was you. To me, your existence was stressful.

Can’t you tell from just reading what I’ve written by now? It was just routine for me, and now I’ve left it all behind. What’s left is the mental illness. Together with some harsh words.

In my suicide note, your name was always in there. If you read it later, maybe you would feel guilty.

I collapsed due to seizures caused by stress. I tried to kill myself and collapsed. My mom cried. My sister has cancer and because of me, she suddenly had to go to the emergency room.

I never talked back to you, and from my trainee time to when we debuted to our promotions, did I ever do something wrong to you? If I did, say it. Did you hate me because I am not the type who is good at flattery?

Even still, I did my best to not get scolded by you and approached you with a smile. I have pride too.

I was surprised when you were taking psychiatric medication because you said you were having a hard time. You said everything you wanted to and did almost everything you wanted to, I was so envious of how one-sided things were.

Well, I’m sure we each had our own individual difficulties. But weren’t you able to make it clear that you were having a hard time? I had to suppress my feelings no matter what.

Right now, I’m not in the proper state of mind. But the person who made me like this is you. You are the one who made my family suffer.

I used to have a strong mentality. When I was a trainee, everyone was like that. Because you were the leader, you were like this. Let’s feel sorry for her. As we got older, it was the same. Because of you, I couldn’t tell anyone that I was having a hard time.

When it was time for the contract renewals, I eventually burst and that’s when my family realized. But did my family ever say anything to you? I am a daughter, and I didn’t even get angry when I tried to kill myself because of someone.

You cried when you wanted to cry, and you got a lot of support. I thought I would get scolded by you so for 10 years… How the hell did I spend it? In the end because of you, I took nearly 200 sleeping pills. Then I collapsed and don’t remember anything else.

On an A4 paper, I wrote your name and ‘Mom, I’m sorry.’ And even now, I spend every day feeling like that. I’m already broken, so everything is broken.

My mom got depression because of me? It’s because of you, the one person, that I don’t want to keep living. Honestly, the only reason is just you.

Even if you come to me now and sincerely apologize, I’m already so broken, constantly collapsing, suddenly crying, suddenly taking out a knife, and writing Shin Jimin on a paper. I am so broken that all my pent-up anger is making me go crazy.

I feel so sorry to my mom, dad, and sister. Can you tell me why you hated me so much? It would be pretty bad for you to say you didn’t hate me.

It’s not fair for me. You may wonder why I’m making such a fuss about it, but it’s just so, so unfair. I feel like I’m going crazy from the moment I open my eyes. It’s just so, so hard.

I lived in fear with my heart trembling because I was afraid you would say something to me if I turned around to look back at you while I was sitting in the passenger seat.

I want an apology, but what difference does it make? I don’t even know. I just want to go crazy and do whatever I want. My anger is about to explode out. But, there’s no reason to suffer more.

Shin Jimin unnie? I wish you could feel how I felt for just one day. I want to turn time around and switch it for just one day. You’ve been living so comfortably.

Say something, let’s hear it. What did you hate about me so much, hm? I hate you too. What would I be like if it wasn’t for you? At least I wouldn’t have been crying everyday, filled with nightmares, and attempting to take my life.

I didn’t do anything to you, so I wanted to be honest and bring this up. I just want everyone to know. I am mentally ill because of her. So that’s why I’m doing this. Isn’t that pathetic? I tried to suppress and suppress it, but it burst and I couldn’t handle it, so I couldn’t hide it.

— Kwon Mina

 

 

She followed that up with another post at 8:18 pm KST, elaborating on her some of her thoughts when she was feeling suicidal.

 

 

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She’s taking medicine before she sleep. Good for her. I’m holding back my tears as I soak my head in the sink. Even if I take dozens of sleeping pills, I can’t sleep. Isn’t that amazing?

I stay up for days before I sleep. I’m spaced out even if I cut my wrists with a knife and my home becomes a bloodbath. While spaced-out, I’ve thought about when I would die and how many people would run in for me to try and save me. Why are there so many people suffering because of me?

Are you sleeping well? As soon as I hear that, I get angry again, start crying, and my temper flares. My anger also just increases. I’m weird. totally weird. Try it yourself, put your head in the sink every day. It really feels like being a homeless person. Really, you are such a bad person. You just have to experience it yourself. I also want to sleep. I just want to get one proper night of sleep.

Why is everyone around me suffering because of you? Why did you make me seem like the bad person? Hm? I want to stop causing heartbreak too. But I’m just so angry. It’s so unfair. You’re making someone go crazy. Don’t sleep, and apologize instead. Get to your senses. Don’t try to ruin me any more. Wow, I’m so angry.

— Mina

 

 

A third post at 8:26 pm KST showed how Mina even told FNC Entertainment about it, and nothing happened.

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I won’t be able to achieve my dream anymore will I?

But if you are a person, don’t achieve yours either. At the end of everything, even in my half-idiot state of not being able to open my eyes properly and stumbling on my words because of taking hundreds of sleeping pills, I told FNC that it was because of Jimin, and yet the company did not listen to what I had to say.

Who do I grab a hold of and tell my story to? Don’t be mad you say? I’m like this every day… I’ve lived like this all along… no one knew because I never said anything..

I’ve been hiding medicine boxes since I was 21 and held everything in by taking pills. I’ve lived like this because of Shin Jimin… because of the unnie that is sleeping well right now.

— Mina

 

 

And finally, she posted a fourth and as of now, final update, at 8:28 pm KST, offering advice to others who may be in the same situation.

 

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or those that are having a hard time because of someone… go ahead and fight instead of holding it in. Or grab a hold of someone and tell them your story.

Sleeping pills? Don’t ever eat them. There is no end to it. Don’t live like me and don’t hold it in. I hope you all live expressing yourself and doing everything that you’ve wanted to do.

— Mina

 

source : koreaboo

Edited July 3, 2020 by J!NX

[J!NX]

15 minutes ago, Danee Danee said:

I read AKP translation and there are a lot of differences and I doubt AKP would tone it down tbh since they are hungry for drama. 

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Posted by germainej   2 hours ago

Former AOA member Mina continues exposing Jimin's alleged bullying & opens up about mental distress

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[Content Warning: Suicide and self-harm]

Former AOA member Mina is continuing to expose alleged bullying by her former groupmate Jimin.

As previously reported, Mina posted evidence of self-harm following Jimin's apparent denial of her claims. The former AOA member is now continuing to expose Jimin's alleged bullying and subsequent actions, and she's also opening up about her own mental and emotional distress. Mina made the following posts on Instagram:

1. "The reason I brought up that person in AOA is because my dad was diagnosed with late-stage pancreatic cancer, and I knew he would pass away soon. Because I thought she would scold me again. I had an acting job, and we were making a comeback, so I didn't want to negatively affect the other members as we were promoting. I had to learn lines and smile a lot. I felt like I couldn't get caught up about thoughts of my dad, and I needed to do my job properly, so I couldn't visit my dad at the hospital. Because of cancer, he was skin and bones, and I couldn't help but cry when I saw him. My sister would call and say my dad couldn't sleep anymore but was still asking for me. But what if I start crying during our schedule? What if she says something to me again? I was so young, and I thought that was what I needed to do. I thought that was the right thing to do, and I didn't want to get scolded anymore. So I could have seen my dad more, but I didn't. When my father closed his eyes, I saw it, and I heard the sound of the machine as his pulse was gone. I was told my dad had written in shaky writing, 'Where is my daughter?' on a sketchbook and showed the nurse, but I hadn't been able to go see him because I was working. From what I heard, she'd been given a VIP room and her solo activities were canceled, but I hoped that wasn't the case. You should be professional too. Don't cry, okay? You said it ruined the mood, you asked why you had to walk on eggshells because of me. You need to overcome it as well. I still can't forget the memory of what you said and how you acted. Even though the memories are fainter, I remember them all. Whenever I remember them, I take medication and get through it. But I think what happened with my dad will stay with me for the rest of my life. Those might have been words you said without much thought for me, but those words were so hurtful to me. In our last 5 minutes together, I told you that you had been hurtful, and you glared at me and said, 'I don't think I'm that much of a bad person to say something like that?' Another member so bravely spoke up and said you did say those words. I felt so dispirited that I couldn't say anything, and I thought to myself, 'Is she even human?' We said our goodbyes. Honestly, I'm not that smart, so I have a really bad memory. But when it comes to you, the list is endless. There's so much there. I'll only say that one thing because who knows. I terminated my contract with the agency, but what if they ask me to pay for breach of contract? I haven't said everything, so it's okay, right? Because of you, I take numerous pills, and because I cut my left wrist so much, the nerves are so damaged, it stings and aches. But when I look at my mom, I feel the will to live. I need to make money. So I'm working hard to undergo scar treatment though I still have nightmares. What's funny is that before I left, we would have drinks together without you and talk, but still, none of us could figure it out. Why do you hate me?"

2. "I guess it's difficult for her to come and apologize to me. Whenever a new manager came to work for us, she would say that I'm a scary person who acts dumb. Why am I scary, and why would I act dumb? When I came back from an audition, she would say I was acting as if I would get something. When I was dieting because I wanted my face to come out onscreen well, she would say, 'Mina, why is your body like that? It looks f**cking terrible. Gain some weight.' During our trainee days, you would smack us and stand way in front. We would say formally, 'Did you sleep well?' 'Yes, we're sorry' 'We apologize.' If you wanted to bring someone to the dorm, you would do what you wanted. It was so noisy that I slept in the practice room. You would talk negatively about each of the members, saying, 'Hey, don't you think so-and-so changed lately?' You said things that shouldn't be said. Oh yeah, you scolded me for not greeting you first at the hair salon, but you don't remember anything do you? I've only written the small things you did. There was so much worse you did during the 10 years. Because of you unni, I don't have anything else to lose, and more than that, did you know I'm not scared of anything either? Because what gave me fear was you. The presence of you gave me stress. You wouldn't know if you just read these words, right? That was my everyday, so I've forgotten everything and only mental illness is left along with a few harsh words. My suicide notes always had your name in it, unni. I thought that maybe you would at least feel a bit guilty if you read it later on. I collapsed due to stress, collapsed due to seizures, collapsed due to suicide attempts. My mom cried. My older sister has cancer, and she would run to the emergency room because of me. I've never once talked back to you. Did I do something wrong to you since our trainee days, debut days, or afterwards? If there is, tell me. Did you hate me because I'm not good at flattery? I still did my best. Whether you scolded me or not, I had my pride, but I approached you with a big smile. I was amazed when you said you were taking medication for your mental health and going through a hard time. You said everything and did everything you wanted to say, you were completely selfish. I was so jealous of that. Of course, each of us probably were going through a difficult time, but at least you were able to express it? I had to suppress it no matter what. I'm out of my mind right now, and the one who made me like this is you, unni. You're the one who made my family suffer too. I normally had a very strong mindset. I would think to myself that you were like that because we were trainees, that you were like that because you were the leader. I wanted to pity you, but you're the same even after getting older. I wasn't even able to tell anyone I was going through a hard time because of you. Finally, I exploded during the contract renewal negotiations, and that's when my family found out. Still, did my family ever even say anything to you? Their daughter attempted suicide because of someone, and they didn't even get angry. Unni, you cried when you wanted to cry, and you got a lot of comfort too. I was scared to be scolded by you, so for 10 years... How did I get through it? At the end, I ate almost 200 sleeping pills because of you, unni, and then I collapsed. I don't remember, but on a piece of A4 paper, I wrote your name, apologized to my mom, and now I'm spending each day like that too. I'm broken in every way there is to be broken. My mom even got depression because of me, did you know? I don't want to live because of one person, you unni. The real sincere reason is because of you, unni. Even if you came to me and genuinely apologized, I'm already broken. I faint suddenly, I suddenly cry, and I take out a knife and write Shin Jimin. I'm so broken that my chest is overwhelmed, and I'm going crazy. Mom, dad, my older sister, I'm so sorry. Can't you at least tell me why you hate me? You were particularly harsh to me. I feel it's so unfair. I'm sure you're wondering why it's so crazy, but it's so unfair. When I open my eyes, I feel it's so unfair that I think I'm going to go crazy. It's really really hard. I was sitting in the passenger seat, and I was worried that you'd say something to me. My heart was beating so hard. That's how I lived. Unni, I want an apology. What would that change? I don't know either. I just want to go crazy. I want to run and do something. I'm so angry. There's no reason for me to have been tortured. Shin Jimin unni, right? I wish you could feel how I felt at least one day. I want to turn back time and exchange places at least once. Unni, you lived so comfortable. Say something. Let's hear it. Why did you hate me so much? Why? I hate you too. If it weren't for you, how would I be now. At least, I wouldn't have nightmares, cry everyday, and attempt suicide, right? I've done nothing to you, so I want to talk. I want to keep letting people know. That I have mental illness because of that unni. That's why I'm doing this right now. Isn't that pathetic? I exploded after being patient and patient. I couldn't handle it anymore, so I couldn't hide it."

3. "She said she's sleeping after taking her medication. Good for her. I'm holding back my tears as I soak my head in the sink. I can't fall asleep even if I take dozens of sleeping pills. Isn't that strange? I sleep after being awake for a few days. I cut my wrist and the house's floor is full of blood, but I'm just numb. I'm numb, and I think about when I'll die. How many people came to save me? Why were there so many people who suffered because of me? Unni, are you sleeping well? When I heard that, I got mad, and tears came flowing. I've gotten a lot angrier too. I'm weird. I'm so weird. Try living by putting your head in the sink every day. It really sucks. Unni, you're really a bad person. You have to feel it yourself. I want to sleep too. I want to sleep well at least one day. Why do the people around me have to suffer because of you, unni. Why did you have to make me into such a bad kid? I want to stop hurting other people, but I'm angry. It's unfair. It makes me go crazy. Don't sleep, and apologize to me. Wake up, unni. Don't make me even more broken. Wow, I'm so angry."

4. "I won't be able to achieve my dream anymore, right? But if you're human, you shouldn't either, unni. I told FNC Entertainment and everyone at the end. I was half functioning, couldn't open my eyes properly, and I stuttered my words. Even not recovering after hundreds of sleeping pills. That this is because of Jimin unni. No one listened, right? Who do I have to grab and tell? Don't get suddenly angry? I'm like this every day. I lived like this. No one knew because I didn't say anything. I hid it since I was 21 and secretly took pills to get through it. I lived like this. Because of Shin Jimin unni. Because of that unni who's sleeping well right now."

5. "To those who are going through a hard time because of someone right now. Just fight them. Don't hold it in. Or grab someone and tell them. Sleeping pills? Never take them because there's no end. Don't live like me. Don't put up with it. Please live doing whatever you want to do and expressing yourself."

Either way I hope Mina has someone around her. 

But honestly see FNC as the biggest issue since they were the one who pushed Mina on tight schedule when her dad was dying. Jimin has no power to decide this. Even if she was a b*tch, people should also focus on toxic work conditions and situations they put Mina through.

but she blamed jimin and said that she she started taking sleeping pilles because of her and she told FNC about it but they did not listen to her

 

Edited July 3, 2020 by J!NX

[J!NX]

1 minute ago, Danee Danee said:

Honestly? She is venting her anger and frustration in very unstable state of mind. Wouldnt take everything she says literally. At least not before the other side will say anything to it. 

Fact is that it was FNC who created this issues and didnt bother to solve those. Like did Jimin pushed Mina on stage when she was suffering? Or was it FNC. Jimin could have made it worse for her (and if its true she deserves backlash) but it was FNC who made her put smile on her face while performing while her father was dying. Doubt Jimin was deciding the groups and even individual schedule. 

Agree that FNC needs to take responsibility ,but also jimin, her word were too  harsh on her during her father's death, dealing with jimin bullying for 10years made her life like hell