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EasySteezy

I'm moving out for the first time... any advice?

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So me and my bf are about to start renting either a house or apartment, thinking house. Anyways I've never movedout in anyway

Well kinda. I stayed at my exes house everynight, but I would go home during the day. I don't think that counts

now we'retalking both signing a lease and shit. I'm excited!

Does anyone have advice for this? We're doing it in probably sometime in 3 months. 

For advice it could be on the moving process, furniture, how to budget,or hell, even on how to handle living with a lover, I just want a lot of advice. I'm a bundle of excited and nervous

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Posted (edited)

My experience on the process of moving out taught me:

- Set-up Internet ASAP if you have work relying on it. I had to move to a remote town because of uni and literally all my friends and I got taken aback by how difficult it was to get internet installed. The providers were different than the big city so we were all lost. I spent about a month without internet....while being a student.

- Furniture, decorations, anything material really: don't get too excited too quickly. Really. Start with the most basic essentials first. Bed, stove...

- Thrift for the small stuff. Many of my kitchen stuff (toaster, french press, waffle-maker, panini press etc.) are second-hand and it saved me a lot of money and they work great! I don't know about you but like facebook groups can be great. My uni has a sales facebook group and I got some great cheaper stuff that way for my home.

- Decorations and stuff will come with time. Don't go in with a whole layout if you're financially restricted. You'll overcharge yourself and spread yourself thin. 

Now, I don't live with a lover. I met this girl from my uni and we signed a lease on the same day we met haha. Thankfully, she is great and we became friends. But key, i mean KEY, is limiting frustrations! When I compare with my friends and their roommates, they always get mad at the other for the smallest things and make rude comments to each other like "you didn't wash that properly" or "Your food smells". It's important to monitor how we say things and not get mad at useless things. Or some don't even communicate at all their thoughts and just talkshit behind their backs, which only leads to build-up frustrations and a bad relationship.

I also understand that sometimes my roommate has a lot of work and can't do the dishes, so I do it for us. And we always thank each other for the efforts the other made, and we try to have a balance in that. Naturally, she did the same. With a lover, it would be even easier to communicate that it would be nice to have a balance and to put ourselves in the shoes of the other.

- Oh yeah, make sure to be clear on how rent is going to be paid and be respectful/mindful of that agreement. For example, my roommate wires me the money and I pay directly to the owner. I make sure to have full transparency and it works perfectly.

Anyways, lots of rambling but I hope it kinda helped. 

Edited by car door guy
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14 minutes ago, car door guy said:

My experience on the process of moving out taught me:

- Set-up Internet ASAP if you have work relying on it. I had to move to a remote town because of uni and literally all my friends and I got taken aback by how difficult it was to get internet installed. The providers were different than the big city so we were all lost. I spent about a month without internet....while being a student.

- Furniture, decorations, anything material really: don't get too excited too quickly. Really. Start with the most basic essentials first. Bed, stove...

- Thrift for the small stuff. Many of my kitchen stuff (toaster, french press, waffle-maker, panini press etc.) are second-hand and it saved me a lot of money and they work great! I don't know about you but like facebook groups can be great. My uni has a sales facebook group and I got some great cheaper stuff that way for my home.

- Decorations and stuff will come with time. Don't go in with a whole layout if you're financially restricted. You'll overcharge yourself and spread yourself thin. 

Now, I don't live with a lover. I met this girl from my uni and we signed a lease on the same day we met haha. Thankfully, she is great and we became friends. But key, i mean KEY, is limiting frustrations! When I compare with my friends and their roommates, they always get mad at the other for the smallest things and make rude comments to each other like "you didn't wash that properly" or "Your food smells". It's important to monitor how we say things and not get mad at useless things. Or some don't even communicate at all their thoughts and just talkshit behind their backs, which only leads to build-up frustrations and a bad relationship.

I also understand that sometimes my roommate has a lot of work and can't do the dishes, so I do it for us. And we always thank each other for the efforts the other made, and we try to have a balance in that. Naturally, she did the same. With a lover, it would be even easier to communicate that it would be nice to have a balance and to put ourselves in the shoes of the other.

- Oh yeah, make sure to be clear on how rent is going to be paid and be respectful/mindful of that agreement. For example, my roommate wires me the money and I pay directly to the owner. I make sure to have full transparency and it works perfectly.

Anyways, lots of rambling but I hope it kinda helped. 

This all sounds great. How do you and your roommate do groceries? I was thinking my boyfriend and I can take turns on who  buys the groceries. But would us just buying our own stuff be better?

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Keep in mind its a rented hosue, therefore try not to spend alot of money on it. That house will not stay with you forever afterall. Like previous user said, first buy necessities, bed is my suggestion, along with kettle and oven, rest can be bought at cheap from second hand, or do it like me, wait for student days in big markets and get toaster kettle etc for like 5 pounds (incase you ou have somethibg like that there)

For groceries ,if possible do big ones together so you know what to cook/eat for whole week, and if you still need something in the middle of week its always easier jusy get couple of things instead of whole supper. 

Keep in mind when you are living together you will be annoyed for a while. You will have to get used to having another person in your private space, who will share dish washing and washing machine with you, try to be understanding and calm 

And if you have washing machine get cloth hanger, you cant believe how often it gets ignored, along with cutting board

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8 minutes ago, EasySteezy said:

This all sounds great. How do you and your roommate do groceries? I was thinking my boyfriend and I can take turns on who  buys the groceries. But would us just buying our own stuff be better?

Hmm my roommate is vegan and I'm not so there isn't much we share unfortunately. However, when I go buy groceries for myself, I always ask her if she wants something and vice-versa. We keep the receipts and pay each other back. 

My boyfriend and I are the type who take turns paying for dates, so I imagine it would be the same for groceries. Maybe taking turns then? But I guess that's something to discuss with your significant other :) Because I don't know if there is a big difference in your incomes for example...

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1 minute ago, lighterxx said:

Keep in mind its a rented hosue, therefore try not to spend alot of money on it. That house will not stay with you forever afterall. Like previous user said, first buy necessities, bed is my suggestion, along with kettle and oven, rest can be bought at cheap from second hand, or do it like me, wait for student days in big markets and get toaster kettle etc for like 5 pounds (incase you ou have somethibg like that there)

For groceries ,if possible do big ones together so you know what to cook/eat for whole week, and if you still need something in the middle of week its always easier jusy get couple of things instead of whole supper. 

Keep in mind when you are living together you will be annoyed for a while. You will have to get used to having another person in your private space, who will share dish washing and washing machine with you, try to be understanding and calm 

And if you have washing machine get cloth hanger, you cant believe how often it gets ignored, along with cutting board

Yes!! Forgot to mention but always keep some private time. Some days, I barely see my roommate because I need to stay in my bedroom and recharge. And she does the same. I think it helped our relationship a lot!

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2 hours ago, EasySteezy said:

You all are the best 😀😀

good luck 💜💜

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Posted (edited)

Make sure you find a place that is rent controlled so you don't get screwed over like me when I first moved out.

Look for a place that has enough room for you two but nothing extra, because most of the time that just means more money and more unused space, or that space because really dirty and messy and a storage place. 

Also depending on how much either of you make try not to get a place that is more than half of your combined income. You need savings for other things too. On that note it is wise to talk about income and set a budget. You don't have to follow this to a tea, but for me my financial priorities rank as this. 1. Rent 2.Car payments (my job relies on me from getting from point a to b) 3.Electric/water/gas/internet & cable /phone bill. 3.Groceries. 5. Other payments. 6. about 70% of what is left goes to savings. 7. Fun stuff.

When you do move in set clear rules, boundaries, and roles. Like who does what, what chores each of you do, you or you partner can't do this during a certain time, etc. 

Also set up a system on how you two want to organize and store things. Like plates go here, my skincare goes there, Papers go in this file etc.

And lastly know that it will be hard at first for both of you. You both will be adjusting to moving in together and I don't know about him but since it is your first time moving out things will be so strange for you. It's okay. It'll get easier in time.

I remember when i first moved out I was so scared, and naive but things eventually got better. Best of luck 

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Edited by Thatoneuser

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