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Mccuish

Is a 10 year age gap with dating questionable?

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I'm meeting this girl I've been talking with online using a dating app. I learned that we have a 10 year age gap. I'm 29 and the girl I'm meeting is 19. My coworkers are saying it's still legal, but kinda questionable.

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It is a bit questionable. Do whatever u want but there is sorta power imbalance imo. For me tho im 22, and would not date someone tht older than me. maybe in a few yrs I would tho. i guess it just depends on what each person is comfy with. if the girl is comfy with it, which prolly if shes agreeing to meet up. go ahead if u want, but i feel lik most ppl will see it as questionable.

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Tbh I don't get why people even ask questions on other people's relationship (once both are of legal age), it's just not their business.

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there's a big difference between coincidentally falling for someone who just happens to be much younger than you, and purposely going out of your way to only date barely legal teenagers. 

given you're actually thinking critically about this and welcoming other peoples opinions as well, i somehow doubt you're in the latter category.

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You were already interested in her before you get to know her age? By the way you asked this question, I suppose you din't expect she's 10 years younger than you. I don't think there's anything questionable about the age gap, since you seem to be interested in her and not her youth. 😊

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Legally speaking no in most places. If both parties are fine with the difference, I don't see much of a problem. However, I could see people around you may question it with good and bad reasoning. I think it's your business and you deal with it as you see fit.

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20 hours ago, Lou Lou said:

You were already interested in her before you get to know her age? By the way you asked this question, I suppose you din't expect she's 10 years younger than you. I don't think there's anything questionable about the age gap, since you seem to be interested in her and not her youth. 😊

Pretty much. We were talking online getting to know each other for 3 days till I noticed her age.

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As long as she's an adult it's nobody's business. 

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At 21 I fell for someone who was 16. At 23 I fell for someone who was also 16. No I would never date someone who is underage, because it's not legal and for moral reasons as we are at different stages in life. It's sort of like we are good for each other but we met at the wrong time. No, I don't like them for their youth I just happened to have developed a crush on them for who they are. 

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You're both adults.

Personally, a gap that big isn't for me, mostly bc 10 years younger is a teenager and 10 years older is a guy in his thirties, and I don't want to date a fetus and I don't want to be treated like a fetus.

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Legally speaking, as long as both parties are of age, you're fine there.

But.. it depends on how old both people are. A 30 year old and a 40 year old is no big deal, because more or less they are probably in similar stages of life: working, wanting to start a family. etc etc.  But in your particular case, you as a 29 year old probably been working for a few years, you've had some years of life experience etc etc, whereas a 19 year old, honestly, is barely starting out in life and society. The drastic difference between your lifestyles, values, finances can all be an obstacle against you if you are looking for a long term relationship with this person. This is obviously your private business, but ask yourself as someone pushing 30, what is it that you're looking for in someone in college??

More importantly, you've mentioned you guys are talking online, have you met and spent time in person? If not, call me traditional, but nothing means anything if you haven't spent a good amount of face to face time together. There are plenty of people who have been married for decades that doesn't really know their other half, much less someone you've only been exposed to over the internet. 

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When I was 21 I dated someone who was 36. The whole situation was also very difficult as he was my older brother's wife's best friend and we kept our relationship a secret...

So my take on this is, if you guys like each other just go for it. If age is not a factor as to why you like her, then it's all good. 

My relationship didn't last long as we were in different periods of life but we both experienced something special. He never expected to date someone that young and I never expected to date someone that old but here we were 🤷‍♀️ Our relationship wasn't unhealthy nor a power imbalanced one. We were both very much aware of our age gap but we liked each other so... 

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Yeah, that type of age gap deserves to be thought carefully specially on your end. If you're just interested in dating and there's no problem with the girl then it can be fine but it depends a lot of what you're expecting in that type of relationship.

 

 

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tbh , i feel that age doesnt matter in a relationship. however , having age gaps that are 5 years and above is a little unusual?

 

 

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I have 15 years gap, guys...😅 So, what I can say, the only thing to think is do you love each other or not. Nothing else mustn't worry. Just love🥰

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Love is not a matter of age. I've seen a couple with almost 20 years age gap married and still living happily today. I don't see any issue if you actually love each other. People can talk but they can never judge what matters and what's store in both your hearts. 

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My neighbour is old man marry young lady. Happy life no problem. 

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