Now that we're talking about Heechul

[Yoonability]

Can we talk about this quote?

Quote

I’m raising Sulli’s cat. I had to reveal my daily life on the show, but I asked them to edit out all the scenes of the cat. I’m thankful for people who cherish memories of her, but I hate people fighting over who was responsible for what and having gender-related disputes.

Like... what is this. I'm so disappointed honestly lmao I've always had a soft spot for Heechul. He seems to be someone who genuinely strives to be forward-thinking and open-minded about a lot of issues Korea still struggles with but what is this? 'Gender-related disputes'? I'm sure Sulli and Hara wished they could have lived their lives without having gender-related problems. The misogyny and sexism they faced was a huge battle for the both of them; something they even spoke out about too (and of course for that very reason received more backlash!).

 

It seems so tone-deaf against him obviously having been very close to the both of them and now even caring for Sulli's cat. Surely he can't have been blind to the blatant mistreatment from men towards Hara and Sulli??

 

Edited January 2, 2020 by Yoonability

[Syvette]

You sure you aren't putting extra meaning in something that isn't there? Since all this is is a short paragarph with no other context?

[Yoonability]

Just now, Syvette said:

You sure you aren't putting extra meaning in something that isn't there? Since all this is is a short paragarph with no other context?

I mean what else could he be referring to other than the fact that after Hara and Sulli's death people massively pointed towards men who harassed them? It wasn't just one or two persons who put forward that idea.

[skullkid]

I think he means well, all hes saying is hed rather people cherish the memory of them rather then playing the blame game.

[JoJo29]

stay away from the drugs girl

[Mrs. Morale]

He is genuinely nice guy. I love him for it!

[Yoonability]

2 hours ago, skullkid said:

I think he means well, all hes saying is hed rather people cherish the memory of them rather then playing the blame game.

I mean I understand that sentiment. But I also think it's odd to say it's a blame game when it's very obvious that the way Sulli and Hara were punished for not being women 'correctly' in their society is something that 100% happened and added to their misery. To say he doesn't want to discuss 'gender issues' seems to sort of wave off this thing that was very real and cruel to them.

[Brightsun]

5 minutes ago, Yoonability said:

I mean I understand that sentiment. But I also think it's odd to say it's a blame game when it's very obvious that the way Sulli and Hara were punished for not being women 'correctly' in their society is something that 100% happened and added to their misery. To say he doesn't want to discuss 'gender issues' seems to sort of wave off this thing that was very real and cruel to them.

It's true that a lot of the hate they got was because of not fitting the demure girl mold. 

So saying gender-issues aren't at work here is just bleh.

[freya]

It sounds more like he's emotionally exhausted as opposed to not giving any credence to those claims.

If my loved one died, I would care about why but what would take precedence for me is the loss...just that it has happened and I don't know how to live with that.

[Glissando]

It doesn't sound like Heechul is saying "gender-related issues" aren't a problem or that he didn't notice the misogyny; it's just that he doesn't want to engage in the public discourse about sexism in the celebrity culture when he's still grieving his friends. People who lose loved ones due to systemic issues seem to grieve either by choosing to speak out about the issue or try to keep the issue away from their loved one's memory. For example, lots of gun violence victim's families in the U.S. either speak out as gun control advocates or try to keep the tragedy away from the gun debate, even if the public will talk about it either way.

I can see both sides of it, but I'm personally saddened that so few public figures have been willing to address the misogynistic bullying Sulli/Hara faced, considering its still going on and will hurt more female idols. Maybe its the shock since celebrity suicides are still relatively few that people are unwilling to talk about it as a systemic issue. I wouldn't expect Heechul to be the one to do it but imho the public needs to have those conversations even if the friends/family directly affected don't want to engage. 

[RosaRosa]

I don't think you got what he meant....

[felidae]

Uh pretty sure that's not what he meant. But hey whatever support "heechul bad guy" right ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I'm not even saying it's not true bc I don't know anything, but I'm not below digging a grieving person's post.