Sulli stans, how are you doing?

[Sooyoung's Wife]

I've been trying to stay off the internet and away from all the news to grieve, but I'm also constantly looking for updates, so it's hard not to be affected by it all. While there's still discussion around anonymous malicious comments online, it already seems like most of the kpop community has moved on from Sulli's death. It feels weird to see people going on and posting as if nothing happened. I don't really have anyone irl to talk to about it with, and I honestly don't want to explain the whole situation to family and friends who are not already aware of it, so I've been mourning alone.

 

When f(x) debuted I decided Sulli was my bias because I loved her cheerful personality, and even after she left the group I followed her activities and supported her through all the controversies. After stanning someone for 10 years and for them to suddenly be gone, it feels like a punch in the gut. I've been crying a lot and trying to cope in a healthy manner. Today is the first day since the news broke that I didn't feel so shit, but it's still hard to process it all. I don't know any f(x) stans or fellow Sulli stans, so I just wanted to check up on you guys. My friends are mournful, but none of them cared nor stanned Sulli in the first place so it's hard to talk to them about it with them. I think it's important that we mourn together as fans because no one should mourn alone. And if anyone wants to talk, my DMs are open.

[Silent Dawn]

FYI I'm not even Sulli's fan but I'm still sad now. Feels like something heavy in my head. I'm still shocked, like "that person, who's just alive yesterday, is now in heaven. I can't believe it"...

You are lucky to have friends who are Kpop fans. I don't even have any in person.

 

So yeah, I'm not doing okay.

Edited October 17, 2019 by Vintage Turquoise

[taenguri]

surprisingly well actually. my mum and brother are f(x) fans as well and mum was actually looking for updates on sulli for me so I didn't have to (she'd also seen the news on facebook, I was so glad I didn't have to tell her cos I really didn't know how to).

I was crying when I first saw the news cos I was so confused and honestly I was shit scared, and just reading the headline made me feel so ill. but when everything had been confirmed I was like ykw...she's literally dead but that doesn't change anything about her. she's still sulli alive or not and I'm not gonna look at her any differently than I have been

[Thatoneuser]

For me, Sulli has always been the most beautiful, and the person I've always wanted to look like. In a way a kind of muse for me. So it's hard for me to really register that she's gone. It's hard when I think about it and I find myself also checking for updates constantly. It's difficult to think about her and not be hurt. 

[Kayou]

I might not be her biggest fan, but she was always my favorite in f(x) and I always adore her, either for her personality and her beauty, like I think she's one of the most beautiful idol I've ever seen, not to mention I often use her photos for drawing references. I love her on variety shows, she's always so funny and I love her smile. I also went through depression, so I always rooting for her and I was so happy with her activities this year, thinking that she began to stand up for herself. 

I was like.. very shocked, and I still can't really digest it until now that we won't hear from her anymore. I don't know, I'm not that okay right now... now since I love the majority of her close friends, I wish the best from them and wishing they will stay strong... Hara, Taeyeon, IU

[tide]

im like you: i want to avoid the news but also there's comfort in keeping myself informed. i just have to remind myself when to reel back. im grateful i have family, and especially friends, to talk to about it.

i always feel a sense of strangeness no celebrity deaths because im hyper-aware of parasocial relationships and i can't help but wonder if my emotions are just a reflection of my own narcissism, but i feel so much genuine anger, guilt, and sadness about her passing. there was so much that could've been done if ppl just listened.

my biggest worry right now is people monopolizing her passing for their own gain or misremembering her for their own amusement. ive already seen both and it's infuriating. even in death, she's just a stepping stone for some, it's disgusting & makes me physically ill to think about.