xo Nix xo 1,224 Posted October 10, 2019 Share Posted October 10, 2019 My best friend of 7 years has been saying "ewwww" and "gross" every time I mention Lucas, who's one of my two ultimate biases. It's been an ongoing thing ever since I started biasing him, and it's getting old. She's constantly talking about how rude and obnoxious he is, how he seems like a bad person, a cocky jerk, etc. I just feel so ashamed and embarrassed each time, so I've decided to stop mentioning him, which sucks because she was my first Kpop friend. That was the whole reason why we became friends in the first place. It just really bothers me, because I don't understand disliking someone that didn't do anything wrong. It just seems like she made a snap judgment and that solidified her opinion of him, and she's not willing to see reason. I once tried to change her mind by sending her videos of him being sweet and funny, but she managed to find something she hated about him in each video. I have never insulted her biases in front of her, because she likes them and I know that would hurt her. I don't necessarily feel warmly to all of her biases, but I don't say that because I know she really likes them. What do you think? Is it rude to bash your best friend's bias when they didn't do anything wrong? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mufcfan 2,721 Posted October 10, 2019 Share Posted October 10, 2019 No, because you don't own that idol too Sorry! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xo Nix xo 1,224 Posted October 10, 2019 Author Share Posted October 10, 2019 1 minute ago, mufcfan said: No, because you don't own that idol too Sorry! Never once felt that. It bothers me when anyone is being bashed for no reason, bias or not, idol or not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abra 40,910 Posted October 10, 2019 Share Posted October 10, 2019 Yeah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freya 7,202 Posted October 10, 2019 Share Posted October 10, 2019 I mean, it depends on what you guys agree upon. If it bothers you, let her know straight up instead of asking us. If this person doesn't respect your wishes to not be bombarded with hate when you mention his name, they're not very considerate and maybe it's something to consider vis a vis your friendship. Your friend could just be thinking she's joking around so it's fine. Some people don't know when they've taken it too far. You could try hurting her back but that would ruin the relationship but it seems you don't want that. Tell her you don't like it and go from there imo. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xo Nix xo 1,224 Posted October 10, 2019 Author Share Posted October 10, 2019 Just now, freya said: I mean, it depends on what you guys agree upon. If it bothers you, let her know straight up instead of asking us. If this person doesn't respect your wishes to not be bombarded with hate when you mention his name, they're not very considerate and maybe it's something to consider vis a vis your friendship. Your friend could just be thinking she's joking around so it's fine. Some people don't know when they've taken it too far. You could try hurting her back but that would ruin the relationship but it seems you don't want that. Tell her you don't like it and go from there imo. I've let her know a couple times. She just goes "it's just a bias, why are you getting so defensive?" The reason why I asked is because I was feeling stupid for even getting upset and wanted to know if there was any validity in that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
#goddamnitkongwee 10,566 Posted October 10, 2019 Share Posted October 10, 2019 Everyone just wanna to rude nowadays. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternal glow 6,196 Posted October 10, 2019 Share Posted October 10, 2019 Just tell her you don't like what she's doing and if she continues, you should get new friends tbh. Why bother with someone who doesn't respect your interests? NGL, what she's doing sounds pretty childish. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cobalt 2,914 Posted October 10, 2019 Share Posted October 10, 2019 In general I don't agree with making people feel shitty about their hobbies or who they like, so it's not nice of her. You should bash everyone that likes Seungrease though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
felidae 2,742 Posted October 10, 2019 Share Posted October 10, 2019 10 minutes ago, xo Nix xo said: I've let her know a couple times. She just goes "it's just a bias, why are you getting so defensive?" The reason why I asked is because I was feeling stupid for even getting upset and wanted to know if there was any validity in that. Everyone is different. Assuming she is alright if something similar is done to her, she thinks it's okay because she does too. It's up to you if you want to be friends with people who don't respect others simple wish. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mufcfan 2,721 Posted October 10, 2019 Share Posted October 10, 2019 1 hour ago, xo Nix xo said: Never once felt that. It bothers me when anyone is being bashed for no reason, bias or not, idol or not. There's always reason of the bash right? There must be something in Lucas she doesn't like. She be friend with you because of kpop too, not Lucas, maybe you could just not mention Lucas, if she brought it up, you could say don't mention him if you just gonna bash him, or something like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freya 7,202 Posted October 10, 2019 Share Posted October 10, 2019 1 hour ago, xo Nix xo said: I've let her know a couple times. She just goes "it's just a bias, why are you getting so defensive?" The reason why I asked is because I was feeling stupid for even getting upset and wanted to know if there was any validity in that. People's feelings are valid. Yours are valid even if others think its stupid. You're not asking for much at all. You just don't want to hear bad things about who you like and that's fine. Tell her it doesn't matter if its just a bias, it's the equivalent of someone bashing your hobbies. No one likes that. If she can't see your perspective, she's in the wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoJo29 17,806 Posted October 10, 2019 Share Posted October 10, 2019 do the same with her bias, she will understand how you feel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
canis lupus 851 Posted October 10, 2019 Share Posted October 10, 2019 yeah that's shitty of her to do unfriend! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnnyrose 12,654 Posted October 10, 2019 Share Posted October 10, 2019 (edited) people i'm friendly with bash mine like their getting paid. the glee they do it with .. Edited October 10, 2019 by johnnyrose typo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trashie 10,243 Posted October 10, 2019 Share Posted October 10, 2019 I don't usually feel much offended when my friends don't like my bias but I think as a friend no matter how close you're showing some minimum of respect to what your friend like is needed. I mean it's ok if she says she doesn't like him or ew but keep doing that is just unpleasant and would make one feel bad I understand Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haze 10,915 Posted October 10, 2019 Share Posted October 10, 2019 Kinda. Especially with the given example. If she's bashing him as if he's Seungi's reincarnation when he's nothing of the sort, I'd pull her aside and tell her to chill. Otherwise that's an issue. And if she persists and brushes you off, I'd reconsider her being a friend. Is she the type to rag on your favorite color or song too? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moonbean 288 Posted October 10, 2019 Share Posted October 10, 2019 Yeah, you're friend is legitimately being an ass. I'd understand if it were in a joking manner but she sounds serious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coval 9,036 Posted October 10, 2019 Share Posted October 10, 2019 You could explain that its not because you’re so defensive over lucas just everytime shes dragging your bias through the mud it feels like shes personally attacking your taste in things to make you feel inferior. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sofs 13,968 Posted October 10, 2019 Share Posted October 10, 2019 i find it rude tbh talk to your friend and explain you like him and upsets you how hateful she is towards him. it's not up to you to change their mind if they prefer to be hateful but ask her to respect you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rockerchic88 9,477 Posted October 10, 2019 Share Posted October 10, 2019 Yes. It’s rude to shit on the things your friend genuinely likes. Sure you can have different likes and dislikes so it’s fine if they don’t like him but having someone shit on something you like over and over again is shitty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Green Tea Is Green 4,219 Posted October 10, 2019 Share Posted October 10, 2019 I do that all the time and people do it with my faves too, it's not that serious to me, as long as they don't cross certain lines (Like, involving them with gross stuff when they had nothing to do with it), they can come for their talent, personality, music or whatever idc, they're my friends I'm not gonna cut off a friendship because they dislike someone I like... but if you're so invested with kpop/kpop idols, you should probably try to tell her to stop, keeping it to yourself will only ruin your friendship for absolutely no reason, I'm sure she'll understand it and she'll stop. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Solfa 7,163 Posted October 10, 2019 Share Posted October 10, 2019 Yes, but not for the reasons you outlined. Simply put, your friend is hurting you by not considering your feelings in the matter and that’s not good. You are supposed to be friends, not random comments on the internet. In this case is your bias, but it could be a book, a movie, a tv show you like, it’s the fact that you are hurt when they reply what matters. You are real life friends, thinking about each-others feelings is what friends do. If your friendship was based on bashing each-others biases, bash away, have fun, I see absolutely no issue here. Some friendships are like that and that’s fine. But it doesn’t seem based on that, your friend is hurting your feelings. That’s rude. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bitoku 9,363 Posted October 10, 2019 Share Posted October 10, 2019 it's not about Kpop or bias. i think it's rude to keep "bashing" your friend's hobbies and likes, saying it once is fine, but constantly doing will get tiring. personally, when a friend seem to dislike the things i enjoy, i just avoid bringing the subject. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
al qaeda 5,837 Posted October 10, 2019 Share Posted October 10, 2019 no, these people ain’t paying you to defend them, they don’t even know that you exist. my friendship is more valuable to me than a celebrity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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