why people often use "he or she" instead of singular they?

[sasha]

which is the formal way?

 

does "they" sound awkward or ambiguous to native speakers? 

 

 

 

 

thanks for the answers y'all

[Mingyu's Blue Hair]

In Turkish there is no gender or feminen, masculin words so, we just say "O" for "he" "she" or "it".

 

And when we talk with somebody we talk as "sen" it is singular form of "you"

 

But when we speak with somebody in formal way we talk as "siz" it is plural form of "you"

[Elscian]

Yeah just use they it's easier

[Ihavepopcorn]

Yes it sounds awkward, especially because you'd usually use they to refer to more than one. For instance, saying "where are they?" instead of "where is he?" sounds odd when referring to one person.

[felidae]

Idk I'm just following my English teachers, then everyone in international forums I was/am on.

 

My native language has no difference in "she" and "he".

[deobizone]

idk...it depends?> i will use both they + either he or she to refer to someone. i dont rly have reasoning why tho. tho i would more often use they for multiple people, he/she for specific person (unless they r nb or sumn) tho will at times refer to someone as they regardless

[金彩媛]

it does sound awkward

[Bom]

Yes it sounds awkward, especially because you'd usually use they to refer to more than one. For instance, saying "where are they?" instead of "where is he?" sounds odd when referring to one person.

 

This.

[Cobalt]

Coming from a language that doesn't have a neutral pronoun, they is a godsend I use all the time

[sasha]

Yes it sounds awkward, especially because you'd usually use they to refer to more than one. For instance, saying "where are they?" instead of "where is he?" sounds odd when referring to one person.

even if contextually it's perfectly clear whom you are referring to?

[ChooChoo]

I think singular they is mostly used when the gender isn't known.  Or when not being specific.

[Joon]

I use they/them, native English speaker. It’s easy for me because that’s what I do in my job all day long, when writing notes about customer interactions, I always use they even though I am chatting with a singular person. I don’t think it sounds awkward at all, and it’s grammatically acceptable as well. I think a lot of people find it awkward or incorrect because they were told to never use plural pronouns when referring to singular nouns.

[YuMing]

native speaker, they/them sounds kind of awkward to me since it's a plural pronoun and you have to use the plural words along with it to describe one person (they have been vs he has been, they are vs she is, etc)

 

I used to use he/she most of the time when the gender wasn't known but now I use they in informal places (like forums), and if I'm writing an essay or something I just say "the person" or "one" instead of using pronouns lol

[SENNA]

As a non native, i never know that we could use they as singular, i always thought they is use for plural

[rockerchic88]

There’s nothing awkward about it. I always use They. It comes to lack of either knowledge or you’re being purposefully that way. I can assure you, if you use it enough times it’s second nature.

[sasha]

I use they/them, native English speaker. It’s easy for me because that’s what I do in my job all day long, when writing notes about customer interactions, I always use they even though I am chatting with a singular person. I don’t think it sounds awkward at all, and it’s grammatically acceptable as well. I think a lot of people find it awkward or incorrect because they were told to never use plural pronouns when referring to singular nouns.

oh thanks. i only use they but today i encountered "he/she" in a formal situation and it made me question myself

[Ihavepopcorn]

even if contextually it's perfectly clear whom you are referring to?

Yeah, even in that case. If we both know John is coming by and I said "where are they?" instead of "where is he?" the other person would expect someone else to be coming along with John because I used they instead of he. They is a plural pronoun and usually sounds strange when used in reference to a single individual or thing.

[ZikyungDerp]

Coming from a language that doesn't have a neutral pronoun, they is a godsend I use all the time

[Hoshisus]

native speaker and i don’t think it sounds awkward when used correctly

[kingfei]

as a native speaker I use it all the time and find it quite useful. Only thing I sometimes slip up on is using 'themselves' for a singular person, that feels confusing to me

[vroom]

i'm not a native speaker but i was taught from the start to always use 'they' when referring to a person whose gender isn't given so it doesn't sound awkward to me like at all lol

for eg,

i think op asked an interesting question.  i wonder which country they're from?

~ it just comes naturally that way

[sasha]

Yeah, even in that case. If we both know John is coming by and I said "where are they?" instead of "where is he?" the other person would expect someone else to be coming along with John because I used they instead of he. They is a plural pronoun and usually sounds strange when used in reference to a single individual or thing.

that's not a very good example though? why would i use "they" when i know the gender? if you just said "my friend is going to join us today" and i asked "when are they coming?" instead of "when is he or she coming?" it wouldn't cause any misunderstanding, would it?

[Mephistopheles]

I use they/them, native English speaker. It’s easy for me because that’s what I do in my job all day long, when writing notes about customer interactions, I always use they even though I am chatting with a singular person. I don’t think it sounds awkward at all, and it’s grammatically acceptable as well. I think a lot of people find it awkward or incorrect because they were told to never use plural pronouns when referring to singular nouns.

 

yeah, it's fine, school just screws you up lol

[B612]

In Portuguese there is almost no neutral ways to speak 

[Timur Sharapov]

I had no idea that "they" was also a singular word tbh.

 

From now on i'll use "they" cos it's awkward all the time to write "he / she".