Are we obligated to give in to our parents because they gave birth to us?

[CrayCray]

Not saying I dont love my parents because I do, but when I don't do something for them or something doesnt go as planned, they use my being born because of them as an excuse to say I shall always do as they say, so they'll try to make me feel guilty for...being born?

 

What do you think of it? Are we as children always obligated do as our parents say because they made us?

[freya]

It's an unhealthy mindset to have as a parent, to feel like you're owed something. I'd recommend having a conversation about it when everything is cool and there's no stress or tension. 

[Lamington]

Hell no. 

[gojo]

i always ask why she gave birth to me

[B612]

you have full control of your life so you are not obligated to do anything you don't want to 

 

being born was not your decision anyways 

 

be good to your parents but don't be their puppets 

[Timur Sharapov]

You'll understand them when you have children yourself

 

I never had a problem with my parents, so i can't relate. But I started to understand them even better when my first baby was born.

 

Having children is all about sacrifying. Ä°t's your parents giving up on their own life to take care of you.

 

Money, efforts, time, opportunities... Everything they could spend on themselves or could invest in themselves, but they gave up to make your life better.

 

You're right in 1 case: you didn't ask for it. Ä°t was their choice to have you. So when they start "we have you a.life" thing you can say them that you didn't ask for it

 

But for my children... The first time they say me "we didn't ask for it" will be their last time. I will just stop seeing them as my children from that moment. Cos I also didn't ask for ungrateful children. No parents deserve it.

 

Edit: Liberal enough to cancel your parents but not to tolerate another point of view?!

 

I thought OP asked for opinions, not for indulgence. Apparently she just wanted supporters. Next time make sure to inform it beforehand, so I wouldn't waste my time and efforts for nothing.

[B612]

But for my children... The first time they say me "we didn't ask for it" will be their last time. I will just stop seeing them as my children from that moment. Cos I also didn't ask for ungrateful children. No parents deserve it.

 

dramatic much?

 

lol kids are ungrateful, prepare yourself for the time they start rebelling and being ungrateful, it's how it is

[Timur Sharapov]

dramatic much?

 

lol kids are ungrateful, prepare yourself for the time they start rebelling and being ungrateful, it's how it is

Not dramatic, but realist.

 

I'm only 4 years into my "dad" career, but

I already had seen enough struggles. And I'm not even talking about my wife, who has it 20 times harder than me.

[Grape Soda]

It depends on the situation.

Are these things like "why cant i go out with my friends?" Or like drastic life decisions

[CrayCray]

It depends on the situation.

Are these things like "why cant i go out with my friends?" Or like drastic life decisions

No. It's more like "why cant u do everything for me when I did everything for u when u were born!"

[BlessMeAchoo]

Absolutely not. You didn't choose to be born but they did choose to have children, so they can't use the excuse that they gave birth to you to treat you however they like. Children are living beings not objects. Yes people should treat their parents with a certain level of respect, but at the same time parents ought to show their children respect too and act like good parents if they want respect from their children.

[eternal glow]

Idk about being obligated to but you should be respectful and grateful for all that they've done to raise you. Everyone should have control over their own life but unless it's an extremely unreasonable request, I don't see why it would be a big deal to just do it?

[Guest]

You'll understand them when you have children yourself

 

I never had a problem with my parents, so i can't relate. But I started to understand them even better when my first baby was born.

 

Having children is all about sacrifying. Ä°t's your parents giving up on their own life to take care of you.

 

Money, efforts, time, opportunities... Everything they could spend on themselves or could invest in themselves, but they gave up to make your life better.

 

You're right in 1 case: you didn't ask for it. Ä°t was their choice to have you. So when they start "we have you a.life" thing you can say them that you didn't ask for it

 

But for my children... The first time they say me "we didn't ask for it" will be their last time. I will just stop seeing them as my children from that moment. Cos I also didn't ask for ungrateful children. No parents deserve it.

 

its sad to see that having children taught you nothing.

[Timur Sharapov]

its sad to see that having children taught you nothing.

Having children teaches everyone different things.

 

No need to think that your truth is the Only truth that should exist.

[Solar System]

I didn't as them to give birth to me. I'd rather not born if they ased 

[Iceprince]

If you live under their roof and they pay your living, yes

[Feary]

Your response should have been "Okay, but did I ask to he born? You guys made that decision on your own." What I would have said to my parents lol

[JiMiJu]

Parents still have to act justly.

[B612]

Not dramatic, but realist.

 

I'm only 4 years into my "dad" career, but

I already had seen enough struggles. And I'm not even talking about my wife, who has it 20 times harder than me.

 

realistic? it's like you don't know how the world and specially kids work

 

you give more than you will ever receive and that is basically parenthood 

 

Your struggles have nothing to do with your kids 

 

A 4 year kid is an angel compared to what is coming

 

be prepared 

[Amalthea]

My mom wants me to marry someone from my own culture, I don’t want that, I dislike my culture, I want to do things my way. But no since she gave birth to me, I have to do things her way. She even told me that she would cut all contacts with me if I didn’t marry someone from my culture ( because I’ll embarrass her and my grandparents). I already hate my culture and just because my family continuously push it down my throat isn’t going to make me like it. I think she’s unreasonable but she grew up that way and nothing that I’ll tell her will make her change her mind( I even cried). She isn’t someone who shows emotions (so I never felt loved while I was growing up) But at the same time she raised me on her own, she sacrificed so much for me .

I’m so frustrated because if I don’t follow our tradition and religion I will disappoint and embarrass her ( and I don’t want to do that, I already feel so guilty about not being the daughter that she would want) but at the same time I’ll hate my life and myself if I do follow tradition.

It’s not an easy subject, I get so frustrated because I won’t be able to turn my back on my mom but it’s my life and I want to live it the way I want.

Frankly speaking your mom most likely won’t listen to you if you’ll try to reason with her and you’ll both get frustrated because you can’t agree. Your mothers mindset won’t change, you’ll only argue. I just avoid certain conversation.

Sorry I’m not much of a help

 

 

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[Oli London]

No.

[Caridee]

No we don’t own them shit.

[Nev Schulman]

No I did not ask to be born.