[Self Disscusion Talk]My Anxiety Convinces Me That Everyone Hates Me

[MzKittyKath]

Because of my anxiety, I take everything personally.

 

If a friend takes a little too long to answer a text, I start making assumptions. They don’t want to talk to me. I’m annoying them. They’re ignoring me on purpose. They don’t like me. They hate me. 

 

I dread sending the first text because there is a chance of rejection. Knowing that someone saw my message and decided against answering it makes me sick to my stomach. It makes me feel invisible.

 

Even if I receive an answer after five short minutes, I will still look too far into details. If the text is short or sounds snippy, then I will worry that I am wasting their time, that they are only answering me to be polite. I will fool myself into thinking I shouldn’t have sent the text in the first place.

 

It doesn’t matter how long I have been friends with someone. I need constant reassurance that I am loved. Otherwise, I will jump to the worst case scenario. I will assume that I have done something to upset them, that they don’t want me around anymore, that the friendship has ended.

 

My anxiety makes me overanalyze every situation. It doesn’t matter if someone can’t hang out over the weekend because they have to work late. I won’t believe their excuse. I will convince myself that they are lying and they secretly don’t want to see me.

 

My anxiety makes me feel like the world is against me. I assume that if something bad can happen, it will happen. It’s hard to be optimistic when I have been through so many awkward moments, when I have embarrassed myself time and time again.

 

I never know what to say in social situations. I am either too quiet or too loud. I don’t know how to behave like a ‘normal’ person. I don’t know how to make myself fit into crowds.

 

Since it’s so hard for me to hold a conversation with family members I’ve known for years, let alone with strangers in front of me at the supermarket, I assume that everyone hates me. I assume they are all laughing at me behind my back.

 

That’s why I have so much trouble when it comes to dating. I never flirt back, because I assume that people are just being nice. Even if it’s clear they are interested, I won’t get my hopes up. I will convince myself that it won’t last long. That as soon as they see the real me, they will realize I am not worth having around and will run the other direction.

 

My anxiety makes me doubt my self-worth, which leads to doubting everyone around me. When someone compliments me, I don’t believe them. When someone tells me they love me, I don’t believe them. I can’t see how it could be true. I can’t see why they would want anything to do with someone like me.

 

Because of my anxiety, I struggle to see my value. I only see a million flaws. TC mark

 

 

xxx

 

 

Discuss and your opinion

 

how will you overcome this

 

 

.....

 

tbh i feel this everytime but i do just pray and pray and trying my best to be best i can be and being friendly and strong more

[truehero]

You need help friend...

You need to talk to a closest friend (in real life).

I used to feel the same, I felt like everyone in my work place hated me. It turned out that its all my mind...

My suggestion is you need to talk to them, ask them whether you did something wrong or something that offended them. If you did, apologize immediately, that's I think the best way to make sure whether someone hate you or not. If they say they're okay with you, then its just your presumption...

[Shalnark]

I used to ask people if they still liked me because I always felt they hated me, I have anxiety too.Also felt that if someone flirted with me they were just being nice, etc. You need to talk to someone about it, therapy for example, helps overcome this kind of feelings.

[Snow White]

I know it may be very hard for you, but I would also say that it will be good for you to talk to someone, maybe find a good therapist if you can.

 

In the long run, such thinking may affect both you and your friends really bad. One of my colleagues had a friend who used to get really anxious when she didn't reply instantly to her text messages or on facebook chat, and with time her anxiety turned into something very negative - when my colleague didn't reply soon, she would lash out and call her a "false friend". I'm not saying that this will happen to you, but expecting people to reply right away is unrealistic and may affect your relationship with them.

 

I've been fighting with anxiety too, but for me it's a bit different. However, I know what it's like to think that everyone is looking at you and thinking badly of you, sometimes our brains just make us think like that. But remember, a "normal" person doesn't exist - there is no one way to behave or a list of things and personality traits you need to have to e considered "normal" or "human". I learned that with time, but everyone is different and it's okay, world would be boring if all people were the same It's okay if sometimes you're loud and other times your quiet. We're all complex and our personalities are made of a lot of different things, and we can act differently in each situation, there's nothing wrong with that.

 

I also know that you can't help it, I know that fighting anxiety is really hard and I wish you all the best. I hope that with help or maybe a therapist and your friend, you will be able to overcome it! The fact that you posted it and you're asking for our opinion or advice is already good, because it means that you noticed the problem.

 

I believe you can fight your anxiety OP, don't let it be stronger than you! Sending you a lot of good thoughts and virtual hugs <3

[Nev Schulman]

Same. This guy hasn't texted me back so I assume he hates me

[downwithNPDnarcs]

I'm not a therapist, but it kind of sounds like you may have BPD, just because I know someone with BPD. Maybe seek a therapist who works with personality disorders for an actual diagnosis.