how do you deal with depression for years

[Sooyoung's Wife]

i can't take it anymore. i've been struggling with depression since i was 10 and i'm almost 22. i'm fucking sick of feeling so shitty. no matter how optimistic i try to be depression never goes away. i can't deal with this rest of my life i'll go fucking insane. i just want to be dead.

[B612]

There are some days that are really good so they make wanna stay alive 

 

It's better to not give up, it will eventually get better, you know? I have been on and off depression in so many levels so many times, I'm better now, I still suffer from anxiety and agoraphobia but no matter how I look at it the good days really make me wanna stay and I try my best to be grateful about the things I have, like just the fact I'm a healthy person is a reason to be happy 

 

please don't give up 

[deobizone]

honestly...same

idk howlong ive been depressed. i started getting therapy/meds when i was 12 because my parents found out i was suicidal. i was in therapy/on meds until i turned 18 and didnt want to consent to it. honestly i would still be alright to being on meds, but they wont let me without havign regular therapy. i even went through several diff pills plans. they tried so much diff things, at some point i was taking like 3 anti-anxiety & 2 anti-depressant a day. but it never improved for me. it didnt make me happy tho, it just make me numb. i would of still done that cuz i prefer it to being sad. even years w/o it i havent gotten all better about it.

i almost killed myself a year ago, and honestly i still have dark thoughts/fantasy in a way about it.

 

i relate seriously tbh. idk if i can help rly, but i hope u feel better..

honestly..I am turning 22 on tuesday. and honestly..its pretty sad to me. my life is going nowhere. and im losing hope it will ever go somewhere because i just dont have the capability and im giving up hope. i dont have the drive to persue any career, and stuck at job im at rn where i feel miserable the bulk of the time. and am not paid enough to be secure and still stuck with my family. i feel like this is where im stuck for life. because i cant get a degree to get real job because i just cant handle school. when i tried college i skipped all my classes and got kicked out..i just dont have faith to do it again. theres nothing secure for me to do. thats so freaking sad for me, cuz i want more than anything to escape my family. it just makes me more depressed to be stuck here and feeling there nothing to do.

 

ive honestly just come to conclusion that one day, itll be finally over. i honestly cant imagine myself living a long life, even to middle age. i hope itll be sooner than later

[Ceceri]

I can absolutely relate. I will turn 24 in a fee months and I am emotionall, psychologically and physically tired.

 

I don’t know how to deal with it. I think I am at a point in my life where death will be the ultimate peace. I want to live. I really do.

 

It’s just that, i am too broken to want to live.

I hope i can help you. I really do.

 

Be strong. Please

[ChooChoo]

do you do much exercise?  it can help

[laevis]

I'm really sorry you feel this way OP, I know first hand it's literal hell to live with. I personally have given up, and consider that me killing myself is a matter of "when" not "if". However, I truly hope that something goes right in your life and there is a way for you to get better, I think everyone deserves that. Until then I think it's up to you to see whatever small thing can bring you comfort in your day to day life, I use music and books for that purpose and if anything they are small distractions. 

 

Bit of a basic question but I have to ask, have you ever had any professional help? It's a hit or miss but some people really benefit from that. 

[Into Your Galaxy]

I kind of understand this feeling sometimes. I struggled with it for very long and now I'm finally seeking some help.Sometimes I felt like I wanted to end myself but the anxiety inside me prevents it somehow but I can't help but feel anxious or empty sometimes.However, I got through it before so I believe that it's possible to overcome it. I did before but it came back again after a year and a half.However, in that year and a half I was actually...well at least not sad and I had my happy moments.Although it was short I still honestly want that feeling back so that's why I'm hopeful. I feel like one important thing to keep in mind is people who care about you but I'm not telling you to live for them even though many people do say that. It's important to live for yourself but sometimes these people can be a part of your upcoming happiness. That's why I have hopes but of course stress is tearing me apart but I'm still hopeful for that reason it's just life situation that kind of destroyed it for me again....So I hope that you will be happy one day as well.I know how it feels..Well people have different ways of feeling it but I just know it's not a great feeling. For me personally it's a mix of emptiness and anxiety mostly...and that makes me anything but happy..

Hope everything gets better for you regardless.

[FIRE BIRD]

It's not the best solution or even a good one but if you ask me I've been trying to deny it and think that I'm not depressed but I'm just sad.

 

Add: probably you can stick to things you like, don't be hard on yourself. I hope you'll get better.

[Edgemoon]

 

Please seek help from a good therapist and take medications if you need it, depression is an illness and it should be treated like that. Try also to take it one day at a time and don't be hard on yourself, it's not your fault, you deserve to be loved and to live an happy life

[STORM BLOOM]

 

 

Please seek help from a good therapist and take medications if you need it, depression is an illness and it should be treated like that. Try also to take it one day at a time and don't be hard on yourself, it's not your fault, you deserve to be loved and to live an happy life

 

 

[d3b6e6f3c04eadd]

I agree with all the other users.

 

but the cause of your depression might be related to your hormones and vitamins levels. maybe you should go and see a doctor. my levels were really low.

 

when you are depressed you can't see things very clearly. you want to,but you can't. and the reason is your brain and your body can't do it because there isn't enough chemicals.

 

you can take vitamins. B12, C or D. sometimes when we don't get enough of these(and most of us really don't) it causes depression.

 

you might want to check your iron levels too.

 

and i also suggest you to start eating healthier and drinking more water and green tea. you might think that it is just stupid detail but healthy foods and water really helps you to feel better.

 

and last thing is SPORT. it increases your serotonin levels. sport and diet helped me feeling more energetic and also happier. and I used to HATE sports.

 

give these a shot in April and May. if you won't see any change you can drop vitamins and diet and sport. but just,give it a shot.

[Sooyoung's Wife]

sorry this took so long to reply, i had to take a couple days to collect myself.

 

 

There are some days that are really good so they make wanna stay alive 

 

It's better to not give up, it will eventually get better, you know? I have been on and off depression in so many levels so many times, I'm better now, I still suffer from anxiety and agoraphobia but no matter how I look at it the good days really make me wanna stay and I try my best to be grateful about the things I have, like just the fact I'm a healthy person is a reason to be happy 

 

please don't give up 

it just sucks. when i feel like i'm getting better, then i get hit with a heavy depressive episode, it feels like all my efforts to make a better life for myself was all for nothing and i'll never truly be happy. i'm doing better atm but i still struggle with the fact that i'll never stop dealing with depression for the rest of my life.

 

 

i'm so sorry about that :( i know it might be a little hypocritical coming from me, but keep fighting. i have little drive to pursue a career too even though i'm studying to get my degree for it. i feel so stupid in school like i'm just a waste of an education. my adhd makes everything x1000 worse. it's hard to focus in class, get my work done, remember things for exams, etc. i feel like i'm not cut out for school or a job cuz of my social anxiety but it's not like i can just not work or do anything so i'm struggling through. i've thought about going on anti-depressants but i've heard they don't make you feel any better, just dull your emotions which i wouldn't really like. atm what keeps me going is that one day things will be different and i can only hope the same for you. happy early birthday. i turn 22 too on thursday so we're both 97er aries babies haha

 

I can absolutely relate. I will turn 24 in a fee months and I am emotionall, psychologically and physically tired.

I don’t know how to deal with it. I think I am at a point in my life where death will be the ultimate peace. I want to live. I really do.

It’s just that, i am too broken to want to live.
I hope i can help you. I really do.

Be strong. Please

thank you, and i hope things will look up for you too <3

 

do you do much exercise?  it can help

not much lately. i used to exercise a lot in the summer when my depression was really bad and that helped a little, but i stopped since the weather got cold and rainy so i couldn't use the park nearby to exercise (can't afford a gym membership). i was planning on exercising again once the weather was better but i don't know what that'll be.

 

I'm really sorry you feel this way OP, I know first hand it's literal hell to live with. I personally have given up, and consider that me killing myself is a matter of "when" not "if". However, I truly hope that something goes right in your life and there is a way for you to get better, I think everyone deserves that. Until then I think it's up to you to see whatever small thing can bring you comfort in your day to day life, I use music and books for that purpose and if anything they are small distractions. 

 

Bit of a basic question but I have to ask, have you ever had any professional help? It's a hit or miss but some people really benefit from that. 

no, i've never had professional help bc then my family would find out i'm like this and i don't want them to feel like they failed me or cry and ask why i'm like this and stuff like that. though, i've been considering going to a counsellor at my college's health facility but i don't know if they can help the same as a therapist. i also went to therapy as a kid which didn't help at all so i have little faith in it anyway.

 

 

i just feel like the people i care about would be way better off without me in their lives. all i do is disappoint and fail, can't do well in anything i do, i'm just a waste to society. there are little things i enjoy but i feel like it's not enough to keep me here.

 

 

Please seek help from a good therapist and take medications if you need it, depression is an illness and it should be treated like that. Try also to take it one day at a time and don't be hard on yourself, it's not your fault, you deserve to be loved and to live an happy life

thank you <3

 

 

i'll look into these things thank you <3

[Yoonability]

Are you seeing a therapist right now?

 

I'm also 22 right now and I've been depressed for years so I can kind of relate. It took me years to get help; only last december I reached out to a therapist clinic and now I've had 2 sessions with my therapist. It's not everything but at least I felt like I took that step and now I can cling on to something. And honestly, I don't know what they have in session for me yet I feel like I'll get some true help there that friends can't give me. I also had a bad experience with a therapist in the past that made me not want to reconsider it. I went to my GP on my own and was directed to the therapist without my family knowing. Is this possible for you?

 

I've never really struggled with the things I've had to do, like pass my exams and go to my mandatory assignments (when I say don't struggle I mean I haven't messed things up completely, though they sometimes drain all of my energy to do) but that's also because not doing them and having to clean up after my mess would give me so much stress and anxiety I prefer to be depressed with less stress than depressed with a lot of stress on top lol.

 

However, I feel like it's so hard to find things I enjoy. So many days feel like I'm only crossing off a list of chores. I have no hobby. It used to be kpop but it hasn't really been for years. I go to social events, also in an effort to make myself feel better and get out of this depression, but it doesn't seem to help. Still, it's better than sitting at home and having the anxiety of maybe getting better if I did go out and met people. How are you doing on this front? Do you still find small moments of enjoyment? Do you meet people you like on occassion? If you want to chat ever, I'll be here to listen! Don't feel bad about replying late or w/e either, I completely get it. Same boat.

[Into Your Galaxy]

sorry this took so long to reply, i had to take a couple days to collect myself.

 

 

it just sucks. when i feel like i'm getting better, then i get hit with a heavy depressive episode, it feels like all my efforts to make a better life for myself was all for nothing and i'll never truly be happy. i'm doing better atm but i still struggle with the fact that i'll never stop dealing with depression for the rest of my life.

 

i'm so sorry about that :( i know it might be a little hypocritical coming from me, but keep fighting. i have little drive to pursue a career too even though i'm studying to get my degree for it. i feel so stupid in school like i'm just a waste of an education. my adhd makes everything x1000 worse. it's hard to focus in class, get my work done, remember things for exams, etc. i feel like i'm not cut out for school or a job cuz of my social anxiety but it's not like i can just not work or do anything so i'm struggling through. i've thought about going on anti-depressants but i've heard they don't make you feel any better, just dull your emotions which i wouldn't really like. atm what keeps me going is that one day things will be different and i can only hope the same for you. happy early birthday. i turn 22 too on thursday so we're both 97er aries babies haha

 

thank you, and i hope things will look up for you too <3

 

not much lately. i used to exercise a lot in the summer when my depression was really bad and that helped a little, but i stopped since the weather got cold and rainy so i couldn't use the park nearby to exercise (can't afford a gym membership). i was planning on exercising again once the weather was better but i don't know what that'll be.

 

no, i've never had professional help bc then my family would find out i'm like this and i don't want them to feel like they failed me or cry and ask why i'm like this and stuff like that. though, i've been considering going to a counsellor at my college's health facility but i don't know if they can help the same as a therapist. i also went to therapy as a kid which didn't help at all so i have little faith in it anyway.

 

i just feel like the people i care about would be way better off without me in their lives. all i do is disappoint and fail, can't do well in anything i do, i'm just a waste to society. there are little things i enjoy but i feel like it's not enough to keep me here.

 

 

thank you <3

 

i'll look into these things thank you <3

I'm sure people close to you appreciate you much more than you think they do and remember all people have flaws..No one is perfect..And this has been proven to me several times.Even people who I used to look up to turned out to have a lot of flaws in life...but that does not make you a disappointment at all and if you think that you're a fail, worry not! 7.7 billion people are also a fail along with you!So you're not alone!

But jokes aside, I'm sure you have your good points as well. It just can be hard to see them in this state..

It took me ages to realize that I do have positive traits along with the negative ones.

[Sooyoung's Wife]

Are you seeing a therapist right now?

 

I'm also 22 right now and I've been depressed for years so I can kind of relate. It took me years to get help; only last december I reached out to a therapist clinic and now I've had 2 sessions with my therapist. It's not everything but at least I felt like I took that step and now I can cling on to something. And honestly, I don't know what they have in session for me yet I feel like I'll get some true help there that friends can't give me. I also had a bad experience with a therapist in the past that made me not want to reconsider it. I went to my GP on my own and was directed to the therapist without my family knowing. Is this possible for you?

 

I've never really struggled with the things I've had to do, like pass my exams and go to my mandatory assignments (when I say don't struggle I mean I haven't messed things up completely, though they sometimes drain all of my energy to do) but that's also because not doing them and having to clean up after my mess would give me so much stress and anxiety I prefer to be depressed with less stress than depressed with a lot of stress on top lol.

 

However, I feel like it's so hard to find things I enjoy. So many days feel like I'm only crossing off a list of chores. I have no hobby. It used to be kpop but it hasn't really been for years. I go to social events, also in an effort to make myself feel better and get out of this depression, but it doesn't seem to help. Still, it's better than sitting at home and having the anxiety of maybe getting better if I did go out and met people. How are you doing on this front? Do you still find small moments of enjoyment? Do you meet people you like on occassion? If you want to chat ever, I'll be here to listen! Don't feel bad about replying late or w/e either, I completely get it. Same boat.

no i'm no seeing a therapist atm but i'm still debating the idea. honestly i'd like it if i could seek help without my parents knowing but i don't know if that's possible? but those cost money i don't have, so. i guess i'll be relying on my school counseling. i'd have to look into it more. also, what's a GP?

 

I'm sure people close to you appreciate you much more than you think they do and remember all people have flaws..No one is perfect..And this has been proven to me several times.Even people who I used to look up to turned out to have a lot of flaws in life...but that does not make you a disappointment at all and if you think that you're a fail, worry not! 7.7 billion people are also a fail along with you!So you're not alone!

But jokes aside, I'm sure you have your good points as well. It just can be hard to see them in this state..

It took me ages to realize that I do have positive traits along with the negative ones.

that's a good point. i guess in that perspective i don't feel as bad, even though it's kinda weird to find comfort in others' failures lol.

[Into Your Galaxy]

no i'm no seeing a therapist atm but i'm still debating the idea. honestly i'd like it if i could seek help without my parents knowing but i don't know if that's possible? but those cost money i don't have, so. i guess i'll be relying on my school counseling. i'd have to look into it more. also, what's a GP?

 

that's a good point. i guess in that perspective i don't feel as bad, even though it's kinda weird to find comfort in others' failures lol.

Well, it's not exactly feeling better just because of other people's failures it's just knowing that you are not as bad as you think you are really. I'm glad that this perspective makes you feel better at least.^^