Hei rei 212 Posted March 10, 2019 Share Posted March 10, 2019 Does it affect you in your adult life? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TT95 457 Posted March 10, 2019 Share Posted March 10, 2019 from what i witness, my sisters tend to go for abusive guys and conditioned themselves to remain with them. My father was abusive to my mother throughout our childhood, so i guess we learned from that. For myself I am very weary of men, they make me super nervous and the smell of alcohol repulses me. So, yeah it definitely affects us personally. I am worried about my future spouse and hope I can protect myself from falling into the hole my sisters has ​ but I am sorry to hear what you went through with that man and I hope you do find a healthy and happy relationship in the future! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Platty 4,891 Posted March 10, 2019 Share Posted March 10, 2019 My mom has been with this guy since i was young, but he's a manipulative pos. It makes me more cautious with dating men, especially men his race. I do little flings here and there but if it gets serious sometimes I end up comparing or unintentionally finding similarities. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edelgard 4,845 Posted March 10, 2019 Share Posted March 10, 2019 yes i grew up with abusive parents who would always fight and blame everyone except themselves and i used to push people away bc i was afraid to let anyone too close, i didn't know how to deal with being loved. i also hated myself thinking i didn't deserved to be loved. i thought the worst of people even tho they were just trying to help me. i'm starting to open up to people more and accept that not everyone is going to hurt you. also learning to love myself Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RiseLikeACrowTit 862 Posted March 10, 2019 Share Posted March 10, 2019 Well.... i'm a 40 some gay virgin, I believe men are basicly shit that will use and abuse your trust; When someone is actually nice to me I dunno how to react, i'm on attack mode all the time because I think people want to take advantage, it made me cynic of the human nature, somehow I run away from weak people, but the problem is that I identify nice as weak too, so I end up surrounded with assholes in general; the only peace moments is when i'm not surronded by people, or when i'm with animals, you bet you got some type of trauma, my advise is therapy and even so..... years Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
No1 6,258 Posted March 10, 2019 Share Posted March 10, 2019 My paternal grandmother was a piece of shit to my brothers and I while we were growing up, she was emotionally abusive and sometimes even physically abusive. She never hit us, but she would, for example, deny us a glass of water while pouring ice cold water to my other cousins while making us watch and forbidding us to go near water to drink. It really hasn't affected my adult life in significant ways other than being intially wary of trusting new people. Fortunately, my mother eventually put a stop to it and we moved to a different place. My other grandparents were the most loving people as well, so that managed to kill any negativity that the old hag instilled. The most impact it has made in my life has been hating her, now that she's old, she's full of regrets and wants a relationship, but just don't give a damn about her. Once she's gone, I can safely say that this hatred will die with her. I'm sorry this happened to you. It looks to me you're aware of your emotional issues and want to get rid of those doubts and you're on the right path, but you might need the help of someone who will show you how. I suggest a good therapist, they really do work wonders if you let them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hei rei 212 Posted March 10, 2019 Author Share Posted March 10, 2019 For everyone here, I really wish you all the best and I hope you find happiness, because you really deserve it from what i witness, my sisters tend to go for abusive guys and conditioned themselves to remain with them. My father was abusive to my mother throughout our childhood, so i guess we learned from that. For myself I am very weary of men, they make me super nervous and the smell of alcohol repulses me. So, yeah it definitely affects us personally. I am worried about my future spouse and hope I can protect myself from falling into the hole my sisters has ​ but I am sorry to hear what you went through with that man and I hope you do find a healthy and happy relationship in the future! I hate the men in those situations the most and they're the only ones to blame, but it's so sad and heartbreaking when women do that to themselves because it happens so oftenThank you so much, I wish the same for you and your sisters My paternal grandmother was a piece of shit to my brothers and I while we were growing up, she was emotionally abusive and sometimes even physically abusive. She never hit us, but she would, for example, deny us a glass of water while pouring ice cold water to my other cousins while making us watch and forbidding us to go near water to drink. It really hasn't affected my adult life in significant ways other than being intially wary of trusting new people. Fortunately, my mother eventually put a stop to it and we moved to a different place. My other grandparents were the most loving people as well, so that managed to kill any negativity that the old hag instilled. The most impact it has made in my life has been hating her, now that she's old, she's full of regrets and wants a relationship, but just don't give a damn about her. Once she's gone, I can safely say that this hatred will die with her. I'm sorry this happened to you. It looks to me you're aware of your emotional issues and want to get rid of those doubts and you're on the right path, but you might need the help of someone who will show you how. I suggest a good therapist, they really do work wonders if you let them. I was thinking about that, but they're too expensive for me at the moment.. maybe in a few years Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
begginforthread 869 Posted March 10, 2019 Share Posted March 10, 2019 I think everything you witness during your childhood affects you deeply for life, the traumatizing stuff even more so Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
multiFandomaf 440 Posted March 10, 2019 Share Posted March 10, 2019 I grew up seeing My father beat on my mother, then pulling a gun.. I have trust issues Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shalnark 989 Posted March 10, 2019 Share Posted March 10, 2019 My grandma from my dad side was abusive towards my mother, I was really little but I remember a few things. My dad would never believe anything either of us said and still says she was an angel. I don't think it affected me a lot but I'm a bit scared of old ladies while still wanting to feel their approval. Also, this didn't really happen to me, but my best friend had an abusive boyfriend when we were 15. He was my friend at first so we were all really close and I remember telling her time after time that he was abusing her, to leave him and she wouldn't listen. I had to distance myself bc he started being controlling over me too even though we were just friends, for example once I was forbidden from going to a certain party bc he wasn't going. I have a lot of trust issues and seek a lot for approval so I guess I was affected in that way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delirium 4,237 Posted March 10, 2019 Share Posted March 10, 2019 I take issue with male authority figures, I don't like them telling me what to do...I really don't like it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lexi belle 68 Posted March 10, 2019 Share Posted March 10, 2019 it affects me so much. now i cant trust anyone. and my heart drops everytime i hear a woman's scream. the thing is my mom is the abusive one. emotionally manipulative and very immature. i was like 9 when i saw her trying to drink baygon (google it) while crying and screamin on the floor and my father wrestled with her trying to stop her. but i cant blame her cause their marriage is not their consent and my mom was 16 when she got married. its so complicated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oli London 1,762 Posted March 10, 2019 Share Posted March 10, 2019 Of course. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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