yeokdae 3,324 Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 I've often heard people in love saying that their significant other "made them want to be a better person". Say there's a quality you genuinely don't like about yourself, like you're maybe naturally very aggressive and rude or very sensitive or you eat and live an unhealthy lifestyle. Do you think it's right to be with someone who you think could help you change those qualities by 'toughening you up' to make you less sensitive or calling you out on your rudeness or getting you to eat healthy and exercise because they don't like these qualities? Or is better to be with someone who accepts you for your negative qualities and/or matches them, like living unhealthy along with you or matching your rudeness to other people? Also, is delivery important? What if your partner isn't too nice about getting you to change? (Again, remember, I'm talking about qualities you would want to change and don't like about yourself) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katsu curry chips 7,808 Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 i guess i love my boyfriend bc it's rare to find a person who does love you for who you are unconditionally but still brings out the absolute best of you and inspires you to do so. i don't think anyone wants to be with someone who matches your poor qualities. in fact you might begin to resent them for doing so. that's not to say he doesn't have some of my "bad" qualities - but spotting them in him too helped me work on them rather than encouraged them if that makes sense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hippolyta 572 Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 Love does motivate and some people/relationships can push you to do things. HOWEVER it can never happen if you dont already have the motivation rooted somewhere in you. If you don't have it in you then you don't, childhood is truly most important for mental development. This just my opinion tho, im not expert Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azucar 1,132 Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 eh it all depends on the dynamic between the two people but it can definitely lead to someone becoming more ambitious and getting them out of their comfort zone, which can lead them to behaving more responsibly and lead to a more healthy lifestyle that said, if you try to force change on someone too soon it's only going to cause conflict and probably won't end well, you have to be patient and adapt your approach by helping them set goals rather than force what works for you onto them, because what works for you might not work for them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bom 2,161 Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 Honestly in some ways yes because my partner has motivated me to work hard and persevere through depression. You also have to want that for yourself otherwise it won't work out. Some people bring out the best in each other. In the past I dated guys who enabled my bad habits and exacerbated my depression. I do believe having the right partner can help shape you into the person you want to be. You have to want the same things to an extent, me and my exes never wanted the same thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiyu 2,891 Posted February 27, 2019 Share Posted February 27, 2019 Definitely can Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sana Minatozaki 3,305 Posted March 2, 2019 Share Posted March 2, 2019 they can't change me , they can only increase what's already inside of me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs. Morale 5,118 Posted March 3, 2019 Share Posted March 3, 2019 they can't change me , they can only increase what's already inside of me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzy Quatro 1,441 Posted March 15, 2019 Share Posted March 15, 2019 If you're talking about motivating and inspiring then sure, but there's only so much someone can do for you so you'll also need to put your own effort. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mozzarellart 16 Posted March 15, 2019 Share Posted March 15, 2019 They can make the effort to try and guide you, but in the end, it's still up to your dedication to change. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Edgemoon 3,053 Posted March 21, 2019 Share Posted March 21, 2019 No one changes no one, but you can be with someone who bring out the best in you and pushes you to reach your full potential Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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