katsu curry chips 7,808 Posted February 20, 2019 Share Posted February 20, 2019 i mean in discussion etc i got all fired up today during a roundtable discussion and that's usually what happens when it's something i'm passionate about, and i guess i challenged a senior exec in doing so. i thought i made an important point, but my colleagues dismissed my concerns and laughed it off in a way, saying i was making it a bigger deal than it had to be (which wounded my intellectual pride i'll admit) but i have personal experience related to this issue, that's why i take it so seriously. i don't think my argument came across well at all, but bc i'm vested in the issue personally, idk, i think my feelings were sort of hurt. i know that sounds silly. thing is i don't mind being challenged, but it really hurts me to be dismissed or shut down bc it feels personal somehow even when it's not. like if someone challenges you, it's bc they think you're wrong, which is great, but if they shut you down, it's bc they think you're stupid... how do i recover my ego? any words of encouragement? AND YES I REALISE THE IRONY IN ME WRITING THIS EFFECTIVELY MAKING IT A QUOTE ON QUOTE *BIG DEAL* JUST LET ME LIVE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smrookies girls 1,085 Posted February 20, 2019 Share Posted February 20, 2019 I'm hurt so I don't talk to them to a few days and I never talk to them about this topic again. but I don't talk to my classmates so I haven't had this issue since I was in high school, but it often happens to me with my family Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sana Minatozaki 3,305 Posted February 20, 2019 Share Posted February 20, 2019 I become louder Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azucar 1,132 Posted February 20, 2019 Share Posted February 20, 2019 in your situation you just have to take it on the chin and act civil in the situation because escalating the issue in that situation would only make things worse if you're really that passionate about the issue and want to be taken seriously about it, no harm in trying to push for it by talking to necessary colleagues/chain of command about it when you can if possible (but make sure you know what you'll say beforehand so you come across better) as long as you maintain etiquette and control your emotions, there's no reason for them not to take you seriously, if they don't that's on them and it's something that they need to fix Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katsu curry chips 7,808 Posted February 20, 2019 Author Share Posted February 20, 2019 I'm hurt so I don't talk to them to a few days and I never talk to them about this topic again. but I don't talk to my classmates so I haven't had this issue since I was in high school, but it often happens to me with my family i think this was part of why i got so hurt... my family does this a lot to all of us. I become louder THANK YOU. i wish i had thought on my feet quicker - i should've tried to explain what i meant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katsu curry chips 7,808 Posted February 20, 2019 Author Share Posted February 20, 2019 in your situation you just have to take it on the chin and act civil in the situation because escalating the issue in that situation would only make things worse if you're really that passionate about the issue and want to be taken seriously about it, no harm in trying to push for it by talking to necessary colleagues/chain of command about it when you can if possible (but make sure you know what you'll say beforehand so you come across better) as long as you maintain etiquette and control your emotions, there's no reason for them not to take you seriously, if they don't that's on them and it's something that they need to fix i could've made a more rational argument, but my feelings and wounded pride got the best of me. i feel stupid now but i might've felt worse if i had continued. i should've kept my cool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DolphinGremlin 938 Posted February 20, 2019 Share Posted February 20, 2019 Yes if something is very personal to you, it would be hard to keep your cool. I get that. But also in a debate, the moment you lose your cool is the moment the upper-hand is given to your opponent because you have lost some rationality. It's probably not about the points you were making so don't take this too hard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katsu curry chips 7,808 Posted February 20, 2019 Author Share Posted February 20, 2019 Yes if something is very personal to you, it would be hard to keep your cool. I get that. But also in a debate, the moment you lose your cool is the moment the upper-hand is given to your opponent because you have lost some rationality. It's probably not about the points you were making so don't take this too hard. thank you for the encouragement you're so very right Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azucar 1,132 Posted February 20, 2019 Share Posted February 20, 2019 i could've made a more rational argument, but my feelings and wounded pride got the best of me. i feel stupid now but i might've felt worse if i had continued. i should've kept my cool. don't feel bad about it, you learn from these things and now you'll know what to say/how to act during the next discussion, it's always a constant learning experience. your colleagues don't exactly sound like they were being professional themselves so don't be too hard on yourself. you'll get them good next time, i'm sure! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enchante 4,542 Posted February 20, 2019 Share Posted February 20, 2019 it's so annoying, this isn't even an actual debate tactic its just a petty way to undermine what you're saying. i hate it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UMJI MOODS 11,514 Posted February 20, 2019 Share Posted February 20, 2019 I wouldn't let it get to me. My former boss once dismissed me in a matter where we had been doing something one way and he insisted on doing it his way. I raised my eyebrows and dusted my hands. It turned out badly so the previous way became law. Let them have slack in the rope and sometimes they hang themselves and then they will open up to your ideas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katsu curry chips 7,808 Posted February 20, 2019 Author Share Posted February 20, 2019 don't feel bad about it, you learn from these things and now you'll know what to say/how to act during the next discussion, it's always a constant learning experience. your colleagues don't exactly sound like they were being professional themselves so don't be too hard on yourself. you'll get them good next time, i'm sure! it's so annoying, this isn't even an actual debate tactic its just a petty way to undermine what you're saying. i hate it. agreed and agreed! next time i'll explain better and outshine them regarding this topic... bc they did kinda expose themselves as ignorant about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katsu curry chips 7,808 Posted February 20, 2019 Author Share Posted February 20, 2019 I wouldn't let it get to me. My former boss once dismissed me in a matter where we had been doing something one way and he insisted on doing it his way. I raised my eyebrows and dusted my hands. It turned out badly so the previous way became law. Let them have slack in the rope and sometimes they hang themselves and then they will open up to your ideas. i should put this on a tee and wear it daily - what a fantastic way to put it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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