Unnie-chan 1,338 Posted January 23, 2019 Share Posted January 23, 2019 Last semester we were required to do roommate agreements and submit them to the RA, but I figured out that my roommate filled the agreement out by herself without telling me. She didn't say anything to me about it despite the fact that I was always around. I've been too scared to bring it up to her because she'll probably have some bs excuse and and get pissed that I called her out. We've been rooming together for 5 months so I've observed the type of person she is. When people piss her off, she talks shit about them and treats them like a pest. At the beginning of the year I already overheard her talking about me and I don't want to cause any backlash. On the day we moved in, I put a rug in front of the shower but she tossed it to the side and replaced it with the one she got without asking me, and my mom called it bullying behavior. She has always done 99% what she wanted without asking me if I was okay with it, like having her boyfriend visit every other day or sleep over, or watch movies out loud when I'm doing homework. I like studying in my room, but it's also distracting when her boyfriend is visiting and I can't concentrate because they're talking. Now I study outside the room. Sometimes when he's over, I worry that they might be talking about me whenever they start whispering. This makes me feel unwelcome in my own room. But I can never bring myself to be assertive with her. I am ashamed of myself but I'm honestly scared of the issue blowing up and her turning against me. The fact she went as far as exclude me from an agreement that equally involves me makes me think there's something wrong with her. I didn't get the chance to formally express my preferences and opinions so she could decide everything the way she wanted. She doesn't respect me. I want to tell the RA sometime this semester but I fear the situation could get worse if I call out my roommate at this point. I'm forced to live in the same small space as her so I'd be scared of a negative reaction. She may act nice but she's also two-faced. I'd expect her to resent me if she didn't get her way. If I ever did report her, do you think she'd get in trouble for completing the agreement without me? I know reporting her is the right thing to do. I know it's my fault for not speaking up, but she intimidates me. I hate myself for being too cowardly to stand up to her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evil4life 3,270 Posted January 23, 2019 Share Posted January 23, 2019 if your gonna confront her about it i would definitely record the entire conservation. My sister had a roommate who tried to frame her by making it look like she was threatening her and even got the campus police involved only to get busted since my sister was cool-headed and smart about the whole thing By recording, you can prove you have brought up the issue with her and if anything can request to be moved to a different dorm and expose her for ILLEGALLY signing a document under your name with the boyfriend at the very least you can be "hey can you let me know when your boyfriend is coming so I can find another space to study and give you two privacy" and obviously there is nothing wrong with asking her to turn down the volume when your literally there. The whole point of dorming is to live with someone else, and in the end you can easily prove that sharing a space is the last thing she's interested in Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DolphinGremlin 938 Posted January 23, 2019 Share Posted January 23, 2019 If she's such an awful person why are you rooming with her? She seems like she's making your life miserable. Honestly, if you don't call her out she's going to keep continuing this kind of behavior. You're basically giving her the OK. If you don't want to, the only other option is to request a roommate switch or indirectly telling your RA. Otherwise, you'll just have to continue putting up with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ego ista 1,344 Posted January 23, 2019 Share Posted January 23, 2019 if your gonna confront her about it i would definitely record the entire conservation. My sister had a roommate who tried to frame her by making it look like she was threatening her and even got the campus police involved only to get busted since my sister was cool-headed and smart about the whole thing By recording, you can prove you have brought up the issue with her and if anything can request to be moved to a different dorm and expose her for ILLEGALLY signing a document under your name with the boyfriend at the very least you can be "hey can you let me know when your boyfriend is coming so I can find another space to study and give you two privacy" and obviously there is nothing wrong with asking her to turn down the volume when your literally there. The whole point of dorming is to live with someone else, and in the end you can easily prove that sharing a space is the last thing she's interested in Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
polygon 1,418 Posted January 23, 2019 Share Posted January 23, 2019 I'm sorry you're dealing with this, OP! She sounds terrible and I dealt with the same thing last year and am kind of going through the same thing again this year so I know exactly how you're feeling. Did you choose her as a roommate though or did you have to get one randomly?You definitely should report it to the RA as soon as possible so they're aware of the situation. But, know that the RA might schedule a meeting between you guys just so you and the roommate can talk about your issues in front of them. That might be uncomfortable though... She'd very likely get in trouble though for completing the form without you as seeing both of you were supposed to fill it out together and that definitely should help your case. If you really don't want to confront her, there's still the option of looking to change rooms as well. If your residence hall still has space, you should be allowed to switch rooms (unless that isn't allowed). It's unfair that you have to deal with someone that doesn't really care much for your preferences and treats the room as her own when you're both supposed to be sharing. Hoping you won't have to deal with this situation much longer though, OP! Try to get something done soon though or you might be stuck dealing with this for the rest of the semester. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unnie-chan 1,338 Posted January 23, 2019 Author Share Posted January 23, 2019 I'm sorry you're dealing with this, OP! She sounds terrible and I dealt with the same thing last year and am kind of going through the same thing again this year so I know exactly how you're feeling. Did you choose her as a roommate though or did you have to get one randomly? You definitely should report it to the RA as soon as possible so they're aware of the situation. But, know that the RA might schedule a meeting between you guys just so you and the roommate can talk about your issues in front of them. That might be uncomfortable though... She'd very likely get in trouble though for completing the form without you as seeing both of you were supposed to fill it out together and that definitely should help your case. If you really don't want to confront her, there's still the option of looking to change rooms as well. If your residence hall still has space, you should be allowed to switch rooms (unless that isn't allowed). It's unfair that you have to deal with someone that doesn't really care much for your preferences and treats the room as her own when you're both supposed to be sharing. Hoping you won't have to deal with this situation much longer though, OP! Try to get something done soon though or you might be stuck dealing with this for the rest of the semester. Good luck! We were randomly put together Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clarry 0 Posted February 6, 2019 Share Posted February 6, 2019 Talk to your RA about this. Most RAs want to help, that's why they've become RAs. Ask for a room change, it happens more than you think! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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