(CONCLUSION) Not sure how to go on with this friendship 4: She has known since last year...

[T R O L L A R C H]

Part 1:https://onehallyu.com/topic/732552-not-sure-how-to-go-on-with-this-friendship/?view=findpost&p=28775168

 

Part 2: https://onehallyu.com/topic/738377-not-sure-how-to-go-on-with-this-friendship-2-should-i-just-continue-what-im-doing/

 

Part 3: https://onehallyu.com/topic/745289-shortened-repost-not-sure-how-to-go-on-with-this-friendship-3-i-think-what-has-happened-in-the-last-2-weeks-is-good-for-me-what-should-i-do/?view=findpost&p=29124936

 

 

I'm in the endgame now. Well no, that was exaggeration. A few days ago, her and I were talking about how I was going through changes in my views over certain things and I brought up that I had a crush and I accidentally ended up revealing to her that I liked her with details that made it quite obvious. Turns out, she knew I liked her since last year. My heart was racing and I felt like I was gonna pass out.

 

She told me that she can always find out when somebody likes her. What gave it away to her was how I've been always initiating text conversations with her and how I persisted even after she ignored me for a month over text when she was gone to travel during the summer. She flat out said this along with telling me that I was clingy. Damn, I made it too obvious. I let my life revolve around her.

 

What was sort of didn't surprise me but made me confused was that she didn't like me back. Why? Because of how she'd always text me back and talk to me over text. Even after I was being annoying, she texted back. When I tried getting over her at times, I'd tell myself that she doesn't like me and she only texts me back most of the time since she's really nice. And that's why she'd text me back. She just told me that she is nice and that's why. Also because I'm her friend. This kind of hurt me at first since I thought she had been deceiving me this whole time but it was me who was deceiving myself.

 

What hurt me a little is that she doesn't find anything attractive about me at all. I'm not talking about personality, I'm talking about everything. Well it is what it is. There was no need to expect her to find me attractive in any way. I wasn't expecting her to say she did yet I felt a little hurt. I don't know why.

 

I'm really glad she didn't feel uncomfortable when talking about this with me. After all this clarification, we're continuing to be friends. For now, I'm going to try to get over her. I'm gonna have to wait till university to like somebody else since I don't know anyone outside of my high school and my senior class has only like 35 students and I didn't like any of the other girls in it. 

 

Oh well. I'm glad I got to learn from this experience. I'm grateful for how far our friendship has gotten. I hope it stays that way. It's gonna be tough for me to get over her. It's that easy for me to neutralize my feelings for her and find someone else sooner or later to develop an interest in. 

 

Please give me feedback and tell me stuff I need to know. Thanks for reading 

 

 

[cheolbong supremacy]

yo you dealt with it pretty well I'm impressed, I expected a lot of blaming but you acknowedged that you did what you could and she didn't like you period. You respect that. You still want to be friends, pretty brave.

 

"I made it too obvious. I let my life revolve around her." Yeah that is never a good idea, not at all. I read some of your past posts just now and your fixation with her was not that healthy. I suggest for your next relationship not to be as "clingy," and let nature really run its course. 

 

Youre in high school right? Dont let your life revolve around some girl, and dont let this rejection keep you down for too long. There are plenty of girls out there ykno. I know this girl said nothing abt u is attrative (which tbh ...ouch, kinda harsh man) but she was probably being blunt to end things quickly dont take it too hard. I hope one day you find someone who sees the value in you.  

[T R O L L A R C H]

yo you dealt with it pretty well I'm impressed, I expected a lot of blaming but you acknowedged that you did what you could and she didn't like you period. You respect that. You still want to be friends, pretty brave.

 

"I made it too obvious. I let my life revolve around her." Yeah that is never a good idea, not at all. I read some of your past posts just now and your fixation with her was not that healthy. I suggest for your next relationship not to be as "clingy," and let nature really run its course. 

 

Youre in high school right? Dont let your life revolve around some girl, and dont let this rejection keep you down for too long. There are plenty of girls out there ykno. I know this girl said nothing abt u is attrative (which tbh ...ouch, kinda harsh man) but she was probably being blunt to end things quickly dont take it too hard. I hope one day you find someone who sees the value in you.  

 

I understand now. I'm happy to have gained this experience. I won't be clingy in my next maybe potential relationship.

 

Yeah, I'm in high school and I graduate after one more semester. Yes, I'm gonna stop letting my life around her and I'm going to move on from the rejection. You're right about there being plenty of girls out there but I think it'll be difficult to find someone like her again. No, I'm not saying I'm gonna continue liking her.

 

Thank you!  

[orengi]

its really good that you sorta confessed. and shes really nice to let you down like that. i think its much more better for u cos u wont have to go on having these feelings for her.

[T R O L L A R C H]

its really good that you sorta confessed. and shes really nice to let you down like that. i think its much more better for u cos u wont have to go on having these feelings for her.

 

Yeah I guess it's better for me. Maybe I'll fully realize that later.

[in the galaxy]

I just read all the parts to this saga

Well one thing that is pretty evident is that you’re very mature for your age. I seriously don’t know any 18 year old boys that would repsond like this in this given situation. Grown men wouldn’t even repsond like this. You handled it well and like you said it was a learning experience

 

I’m glad that you did realize that you let this crush take over your life. Love can be very powerful so this isn’t something that isn’t common especially when it’s your first major crush but it’s always important to find a healthy balance and not fixate too much on your crush

[cheolbong supremacy]

I understand now. I'm happy to have gained this experience. I won't be clingy in my next maybe potential relationship.

 

Yeah, I'm in high school and I graduate after one more semester. Yes, I'm gonna stop letting my life around her and I'm going to move on from the rejection. You're right about there being plenty of girls out there but I think it'll be difficult to find someone like her again. No, I'm not saying I'm gonna continue liking her.

 

Thank you!  

 

I know it'll be hard to forget abt her and that you really did like her a lot. It cant be easy but just treat this like an experience and grow fom it, who knows when you're an adult down the line and have a significant other who you love just as much if not more than this gil, you can look back at this time and the time you spent with her as significant memory. Thats life right 

[Hormones.]

ngl you're very mature for your age and you analyzed your feelings and emotions correctly to the point that you realized you were the one deluding yourself and you want to fix it by moving on but it's easier said than done it will take you months took me one year to get over someone but now I'm doing so much better blocking that person out of my life lol .... but yeah be mature because no is going to be mature for you ....put yourself first. 

[T R O L L A R C H]

I just read all the parts to this saga

Well one thing that is pretty evident is that you’re very mature for your age. I seriously don’t know any 18 year old boys that would repsond like this in this given situation. Grown men wouldn’t even repsond like this. You handled it well and like you said it was a learning experience

 

I’m glad that you did realize that you let this crush take over your life. Love can be very powerful so this isn’t something that isn’t common especially when it’s your first major crush but it’s always important to find a healthy balance and not fixate too much on your crush

 

Thank you! I'm still learning and I won't do something like this again.

[T R O L L A R C H]

I know it'll be hard to forget abt her and that you really did like her a lot. It cant be easy but just treat this like an experience and grow fom it, who knows when you're an adult down the line and have a significant other who you love just as much if not more than this gil, you can look back at this time and the time you spent with her as significant memory. Thats life right 

 

 

You're right. You never know what happens in the future. I guess I'll look back at this just like what you're describing 

[in the galaxy]

Thank you! I'm still learning and I won't do something like this again.

Don’t overthink and be hard on yourself either

Rejection is just part of life!

[T R O L L A R C H]

ngl you're very mature for your age and you analyzed your feelings and emotions correctly to the point that you realized you were the one deluding yourself and you want to fix it by moving on but it's easier said than done it will take you months took me one year to get over someone but now I'm doing so much better blocking that person out of my life lol .... but yeah be mature because no is going to be mature for you ....put yourself first. 

 

Thank you man! I'll have to try my best to get over her. I'm glad you're doing better lol. 

[T R O L L A R C H]

Don’t overthink and be hard on yourself either

Rejection is just part of life!

 

I won't and I totally understand.

[cheolbong supremacy]

You're right. You never know what happens in the future. I guess I'll look back at this just like what you're describing 

 

yh man, and just if youre still feeling pretty down, I'll say from a girl's point of views bc that many of us don't look at just being good looking etc as the main attraction point. You already seem really mature so thats +1 in your favour (u got no idea how many dumbass immature adult guys there are), and the next +1 you need is just some confidence. Be confident in who you are (god thats cheesy) in a way that you DONT have to obsess over a girl or constantly give her hints, but enough poise that they can appreciate that for themselves, confidence is a huge +1 

[JihyoStoleMyHeartAYAYAY]

that was impressive feat. Just a friendly reminder. You can't find love, Love finds you. So just take it slow and let the "destiny" paths your way to someone else heart 

[T R O L L A R C H]

yh man, and just if youre still feeling pretty down, I'll say from a girl's point of views bc that many of us don't look at just being good looking etc as the main attraction point. You already seem really mature so thats +1 in your favour (u got no idea how many dumbass immature adult guys there are), and the next +1 you need is just some confidence. Be confident in who you are (god thats cheesy) in a way that you DONT have to obsess over a girl or constantly give her hints, but enough poise that they can appreciate that for themselves, confidence is a huge +1 

 

Thank you for the advice. I'm not too sure how to make myself confident though. 

 

that was impressive feat. Just a friendly reminder. You can't find love, Love finds you. So just take it slow and let the "destiny" paths your way to someone else heart 

 

Yes I will and I hope that happens

[Digiwon]

Congratz for being so mature! Judging from what you wrote about your saga, you were clingy indeed and not only that can be noticeable, its also very unattractive, I will be honest with you. It really is. If there's any lesson you can get from this, which seems like you're already doing, is to stop make your life revolve around a crush. Don't feel bad about yourself because she didn't felt attracted to you in any aspect, because it happens and you should get used to it. I think right now, you should focus in yourself, take care your appearance and self confidence/self esteem. You have to love to be with yourself to make others love being with you too. You are a smart and sensible guy which are great traits to have so don't worry. She is just one girl and there's literally millions out there that you haven't met yet. Using what you learned from this experience is the best way to improve.

[T R O L L A R C H]

Congratz for being so mature! Judging from what you wrote about your saga, you were clingy indeed and not only that can be noticeable, its also very unattractive, I will be honest with you. It really is. If there's any lesson you can get from this, which seems like you're already doing, is to stop make your life revolve around a crush. Don't feel bad about yourself because she didn't felt attracted to you in any aspect, because it happens and you should get used to it. I think right now, you should focus in yourself, take care your appearance and self confidence/self esteem. You have to love to be with yourself to make others love being with you too. You are a smart and sensible guy which are great traits to have so don't worry. She is just one girl and there's literally millions out there that you haven't met yet. Using what you learned from this experience is the best way to improve.

 

Thank you! I understand now and I acknowledge my faults. I just don't know how to gain self confidence and how to "love to be with yourself to make others love being with you too." People keep saying that I should be more confident but I just don't know exactly how or an example from which I can understand this honestly. Again, thank you for reading and for your comment  

[Digiwon]

Thank you! I understand now and I acknowledge my faults. I just don't know how to gain self confidence and how to "love to be with yourself to make others love being with you too." People keep saying that I should be more confident but I just don't exactly how or an example from which I can understand this honestly. Again, thank you reading and for your comment

I think the quickest way to gain confidence is focusing in yourself and on benefits a lot more than negative stuff. Take care of what you do, having a goal to work on, studying and getting better grades, eating better, and of course don't give up on love. You said you didn't liked any girl in your class but don't you think talking to them is a good way to be more comfortable with girls? Also be bold about who you are. Don't take things so seriously. You can laugh about this situation too if you think about it. It's the small things that all together make the big difference.

[OutroTear]

You handled it in a very mature way. It might take a while to get over her (maybe longer than you'd like), but it'll happen. Good luck!! 

[T R O L L A R C H]

I think the quickest way to gain confidence is focusing in yourself and on benefits a lot more than negative stuff. Take care of what you do, having a goal to work on, studying and getting better grades, eating better, and of course don't give up on love. You said you didn't liked any girl in your class but don't you think talking to them is a good way to be more comfortable with girls? Also be bold about who you are. Don't take things so seriously. You can laugh about this situation too if you think about it. It's the small things that all together make the big difference.

 

That makes it easier for me to understand. It really does. I appreciate your advice as I do everyone else's. Yeah I should talk to girls more in my class to get more comfortable. Thanks for pointing out that I can laugh about this. You just told me the other obvious and basic things I should've grasped earlier which I couldn't. Again, thank you very much

[T R O L L A R C H]

You handled it in a very mature way. It might take a while to get over her (maybe longer than you'd like), but it'll happen. Good luck!! 

 

Thank you!