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lompardy

When a Korean asks "do you have a girlfriend"...

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I'm gay and I'm usually the type that's quite open about it but doesn't implicitly state that I'm gay - I just presume they'd pick it up from all the other stuff I talk about concerning boys and the like. My style is also associated with gay guys generally - in the west, people just presume I'm gay and go with the flow.

 

But it's happened to me a lot now. I'll be talking with a Korean guy and he'd flat out drop questions like whether I have a girlfriend or what I thought about a girl...

 

Now, is he asking about whether I'm gay without trying to be offensive? Or does he not understand the idea of being gay? This doesn't happen with most Korean guy but it's happened a few times so I'm looking for advice... should I respond that I'm gay or play straight?

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I think it's up to you tbh but what if they try and set you up or something?? lol

Also, it's important to remember that in the west many things are labeled as "gay" (ex. dressing a certain way, taking care of skin, etc.) and many other countries aren't like this. 

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Western =/= The rest of the world

 

Just because people presume you're gay in the West doesn't mean other countries will pick up on it. "Dressing gay" isn't a thing that's associated in countries like Korea. You'd probably be better off just saying you're gay.

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Not necessarily, asking 'Do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend' is one of the default small talk questions for Koreans because dating is seen as one of the main social activities you can do with your free time. If you say yes, then you can small talk more about what you do with your beaux. If you say no, then they can small talk about setting you up with their pretty cousin/friend/coworker/whatever. If you say, 'I am gay', I imagine it would be a little awkward but they'd leave you alone after that. 

 

It could totally be because they're trying to scope out if you're gay or not, but it's far more likely that it's the former

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I think it's up to you tbh but what if they try and set you up or something?? lol

Also, it's important to remember that in the west many things are labeled as "gay" (ex. dressing a certain way, taking care of skin, etc.) and many other countries aren't like this. 

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No. All of the Koreans that I have spoken to have always asked about my dating life. I just think they’re big on small talk

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No. All of the Koreans that I have spoken to have always asked about my dating life. I just think they’re big on small talk

 

But what do I do when they ask if I have a girlfriend eventhough I'm gay?

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