byesexual 409 Posted November 30, 2018 Share Posted November 30, 2018 MINI RANT I got my friend irl into kpop earlier this year. it was really just for fun at first i was showing her some mvs (a lot of old stuff and some recent stuff from a certain group) eventually she got interested and fully stanned them but her obsession quickly became so intense to the point where she's miserable all the time. she takes everything so seriously i don't even want to talk to her about kpop related stuff anymore. she completely absorbed the toxic stan culture and only pays attention to the negative stuff. i'm feeling really guilty since i was the one who got her into it ugh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samurai 919 Posted November 30, 2018 Share Posted November 30, 2018 It depends. Not every aspect of kpop is only about stan culture. You can enjoy it without being fully dedicated. Tell her to take a break if it's making her miserable Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hehe haha xd 3,081 Posted November 30, 2018 Share Posted November 30, 2018 Nope. A lot of people gather joy from Kpop, it seems your friend would have had the same reaction if she was introduced to western music or even the cooking scene. She needs to see a professional tbh, it is not healthy and will only make her feel worse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Artemosia 727 Posted November 30, 2018 Share Posted November 30, 2018 · Hidden by rich witch, November 30, 2018 - No reason given Hidden by rich witch, November 30, 2018 - No reason given Yes, most Army should stop being toxic, stop frying their hair with weird hair dye, take showers, lay off the junk food, poo in their toilets and take their antidepressants on a daily basis! Link to comment
Stargazing 950 Posted November 30, 2018 Share Posted November 30, 2018 it sounds like your friend needs to go on hiatus for awhile. focusing too much on anything negative will no doubt take a toll on anyone's mental health. stay away from stan twt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
accidie 1,152 Posted November 30, 2018 Share Posted November 30, 2018 you shouldn't feel guilty is she aware of her obsession? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deobizone 7,779 Posted November 30, 2018 Share Posted November 30, 2018 as a depressed person...Im guilty of being toxic sometimes and hyperfocusing on the negative stuff/being effected by it. but ultimately, its something they have to just realize their actions and if they need to step away, or at least in a way of avoiding the negativity, they should do that. i dont think kpop is the problem per se, kinda the opposite, because kpop is escapism that can help. tho the toxicity is no good it can be avoidable/helped Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ronnie Mars 2,142 Posted November 30, 2018 Share Posted November 30, 2018 I suffer from depression, but Kpop (and music in general, basically) helps me deal with it. So, it all depends: Kpop music can instead help people with depression. However, I avoid the stan culture. It's cringey as fuck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taetaefingertips 53 Posted November 30, 2018 Share Posted November 30, 2018 I'm sorry but what? Music helps people with depression. There are literally people out there who are only alive because some idols give them hope and happiness. Just because your friend turned out to be a obsessive one now every person with depression needs to stay away from kpop? Sorry if I sound too harsh but as someone who is suffering from depression, I'm offended. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stargazing 950 Posted November 30, 2018 Share Posted November 30, 2018 I'm sorry but what? Music helps people with depression. There are literally people out there who are only alive because some idols give them hope and happiness. Just because your friend turned out to be a obsessive one now every person with depression needs to stay away from kpop? Sorry if I sound too harsh but as someone who is suffering from depression, I'm offended. Chill. That's not what op's saying. If anything it sounds like they're asking for advice Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sebby 740 Posted November 30, 2018 Share Posted November 30, 2018 I'm sorry but what? Music helps people with depression. There are literally people out there who are only alive because some idols give them hope and happiness. Just because your friend turned out to be a obsessive one now every person with depression needs to stay away from kpop? Sorry if I sound too harsh but as someone who is suffering from depression, I'm offended. Why are you so mad though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
solis 10,336 Posted November 30, 2018 Share Posted November 30, 2018 no offense meant to your friend of course, but even mentally healthy people can become obsessive and get deep into the toxic parts of stanning (especially if one joins stan twitter) personally kpop has helped my depression a lot since it gives me things to look forward to like new music from my faves and it gives me a sense of belonging when i make friends in the fandom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taetaefingertips 53 Posted November 30, 2018 Share Posted November 30, 2018 Why are you so mad thoughBecause I'm offended..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
byesexual 409 Posted November 30, 2018 Author Share Posted November 30, 2018 you shouldn't feel guilty is she aware of her obsession? pretty sure she is i mean that's all she ever talks about now but in a negative manner like everything is wrong and she's always disappointed for some reason Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HotTea 2,955 Posted November 30, 2018 Share Posted November 30, 2018 Music helped a lot of people through depression tho. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pupp�y 498 Posted November 30, 2018 Share Posted November 30, 2018 I'm sorry but what? Music helps people with depression. There are literally people out there who are only alive because some idols give them hope and happiness. Just because your friend turned out to be a obsessive one now every person with depression needs to stay away from kpop? Sorry if I sound too harsh but as someone who is suffering from depression, I'm offended. Nothing about what they said is offensive Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Comely 1,415 Posted November 30, 2018 Share Posted November 30, 2018 There's a difference between using kpop to cope with depression and falling into the toxicity linked to the community. I don't think just because she's obsessed with it people with depression should stay away from it. But I agree some of us are more likely to be affected and involve themselves a little too much when it is the only thing we think/speak about all day. However I don't think it's something that only applies to people with depression. There are people who aren't depressed (I guess) with the same attitude as your friend. I agree that maybe she should take a break because it's affecting her way too much and so much negativity will only make her feel worse. I know it's complicated to help people like her, to help them know where to draw a line between what is worth fighting over and what is not. I think this is something the person involved can realize by themselve. I realized it myself after a few years. She probably won't realize how much it's hurting her and having a bad influence on her mental health until she gets into a very low point :/ I hope she won't though, that would be sad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samurai 919 Posted November 30, 2018 Share Posted November 30, 2018 Music helped a lot of people through depression tho. OP literally wrote "she completely absorbed the toxic stan culture" can y'all not read.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinkpanda_spirit 14,647 Posted November 30, 2018 Share Posted November 30, 2018 Idk but I think people with an ED should. kpop idols made me feel very insecure about my body (when I used to be really confident and proud of my honey thighs) so I developed an ED and I used to search for all diets idols did. I became so obssessed that I felt betrayed whenever a healthy/chubby idol lost weight. I even had a folder with pics of female idols who were not stick skinny to make me feel better about myself, but at the same time I was working hard to lose weight. I was really weird. Yes, most Army should stop being toxic, stop frying their hair with weird hair dye, take showers, lay off the junk food, poo in their toilets and take their antidepressants on a daily basis! when will you get banned seriously Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taetaefingertips 53 Posted November 30, 2018 Share Posted November 30, 2018 Nothing about what they said is offensiveThey literally said should people with depression stay away from kpop? Anyone with common sense knows what's the answer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mogwai 15,203 Posted November 30, 2018 Share Posted November 30, 2018 If it’s exacerbating her health then it does sound like she should take a step back. It’s never a good idea to get deep inside the toxic side of fandom regardless of the state of your mental health anyway. Maybe try talking to her honestly about it. I think she’ll appreciate you looking out for her, I personally would if I were in her position. Maybe at least convince her to take a break from fandom for a few days. Good luck, OP. Also, re: the title. In general, not necessarily, as long as one gets the support one needs and avoids that nasty side of kpop. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rejeshrimp 1,064 Posted November 30, 2018 Share Posted November 30, 2018 I don't think anyone should rely on something that much. That's very, very dangerous and obsessive to do. It's unsafe to become so absorbed into something like that, and it's not your fault your friend's reacted that way. Your friend probably would've reacted the same way if you'd have introduced her to anything else that she began to like. I find that people who don't really have many hobbies tend to get very very, almost dangerously, obsessive about the one thing they're passionate about and that can prove to be toxic for them. It's dangerous to base your identity, your entire being around anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
#goddamnitkongwee 10,566 Posted November 30, 2018 Share Posted November 30, 2018 People with depression should stay away from Onehallyu. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
<Taesthetic> 92 Posted November 30, 2018 Share Posted November 30, 2018 People with depression should stay away from Onehallyu. Truer words were never spoken. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blond jenissi 676 Posted November 30, 2018 Share Posted November 30, 2018 Idk but I think people with an ED should. kpop idols made me feel very insecure about my body (when I used to be really confident and proud of my honey thighs) so I developed an ED and I used to search for all diets idols did. I became so obssessed that I felt betrayed whenever a healthy/chubby idol lost weight. I even had a folder with pics of female idols who were not stick skinny to make me feel better about myself, but at the same time I was working hard to lose weight. I was really weird. when will you get banned seriously same... I've always had body image issues but after 1-2 years being into kpop I developed an ED and was obsessed with idols weight, diets and workouts... about 6-7 years later even though I'm doing much better, I still struggle with food and my weight a lot and it makes my depression and stress much worse. I've always been afraid to say this online ._. I hope you're doing better now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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