This is why I don't come out to my parents, can any gays/bisexuals relate?

[金彩媛]

First of all I gotta say I'm not a big fan of the coming out culture for a couple of reasons but anyways

My parents aren't even homo/biphobic they're super liberal when it comes to these topics (outwardly at least) but I just KNOW they'd use that card against me whenever they feel like criticizing me for whatever reason, even when I try to come out casually it hits me that it'll come back to bite me in the ass eventually and I don't want this thing becoming a weapon for them

 

I came out to my sister a couple years ago, she took it perfectly well at first or so it seemed but bitch keeps throwing shade and dropping hints whenever she's mad at me

 

I guess you could call it internalized homophobia but this is why I try my hardest to hide my weaknesses/quirks from them

 

yes they're that shitty

[Dead Inside]

my family does this to my two uncles when they're upset with them

it's fucking shitty

[Cobalt]

Yep I know it

[blank_stare]

If she hits you with that, hit her back with your snarkiest comments. Otherwise, dig something up against her, and use that towards her. 

[金彩媛]

If she hits you with that, hit her back with your snarkiest comments. Otherwise, dig something up against her, and use that towards her.

 

I got no tea on her she's a boring straight girl anyway I wouldn't want to stoop to that level

[Augusto]

 

I guess you could call it internalized homophobia

 

I think it's just human nature in general. When someone is mad at you he/she uses everything for shade: your bad habits, your tastes, your way to speak or feel smth, your 'wrong' boyfriends/girlfriends, your sexual preferences etc.

[blank_stare]

I got no tea on her she's a boring straight girl anyway I wouldn't want to stoop to that level

 

Aw. Well, even if the person is a boring straight girl, that person will always have something hidden secret. (I'd try to pay attention to what she's doing or who she hands out with.) But, since you don't stoop that low, every time she shades you, tell her "Bless your soul, child." That might shut her up, but only if she's religious. 

 

But, all in honest, you should straight up just talk to her and tell her what she's doing is hurting you. Open up towards her, and her bitter ass bitch might do the same. If she doesn't well then that boring straight girl is a cold heart bitch. 

[BadByeBae]

Yeah, my parents are super liberal too, but they freaked when they got wind my preferences weren't fully 'normal' and wider than what they would have liked. Full of the excuses that 'but it'll be hard out there for you, so we worry!' when, honestly, for my mom at least she was more worried about perception of others.

 

The truth is I just pulled away from my nuclear family when I was independent enough to do so - kept in touch but changed states, don't talk to my sis much - and made a new family of friends and then my spouse. It was hard, but in the end it was super good for my head and health to not let them affect me so much. Hang in there.

[金彩媛]

for my mom at least she was more worried about perception of others.

ugh that sounds so much like my mom, she really needs to stop being so obsessed about our image as a family and just care about how we feel for once

[BadByeBae]

ugh that sounds so much like my mom, she really needs to stop being so obsessed about our image as a family and just care about how we feel for once

Yeah, it's really depressing when you tell them something about yourself, something important and like not completely comfortable with even yourself and the first response is 'but people won't LIKE that' aka 'they'll judge ME for you being like this!'

 

My mom's a full-on narcissist, tho', so she's the worst of the worst! Hopefully yours can chill out in time about it when you can tell her and walk away to let her process without her barfing her ugliness all over you. *hugs* That's the worst part right there, I don't blame you for not telling them yet.

[HoneyPopCupcake]

Whew, if I was gay/bi I'd die since my parents are so old school  but you know that's what people do when they mad, they use whatever they can to ''attack'' you. Anyway, do whatever makes you feel more comfortable OP

[deobizone]

I hate "coming out culture" no offense 2 ppl that have but I find it ridiculous to approach my loved ones to let them know I'm gay. I'll never do that tbh. if they know, they know- which they do. they are judgemental and bigoted toward gay ppl but only when they think I cant hear...

[QUTONE]

First of all I gotta say I'm not a big fan of the coming out culture for a couple of reasons but anyways

My parents aren't even homo/biphobic they're super liberal when it comes to these topics (outwardly at least) but I just KNOW they'd use that card against me whenever they feel like criticizing me for whatever reason, even when I try to come out casually it hits me that it'll come back to bite me in the ass eventually and I don't want this thing becoming a weapon for them

 

I came out to my sister a couple years ago, she took it perfectly well at first or so it seemed but bitch keeps throwing shade and dropping hints whenever she's mad at me

 

I guess you could call it internalized homophobia but this is why I try my hardest to hide my weaknesses/quirks from them

 

yes they're that shitty

I am NOT for the exposing bullshit.

 

When she comes for you, come back for her. DRAG HER THROW THE DAMN HOUSE literally and figuratively; if she wants to tease you for coming out, then come out... and beat her ass. 

[Antares]

lmao my mother is exactly like that but I never stay quiet

[Edgemoon]

I don't want this thing becoming a weapon for them

But in what way? "Yeah, and you even like BOYS/GIRLS!" so?

[金彩媛]

But in what way? "Yeah, and you even like BOYS/GIRLS!" so?

no not in that way, it's hard to explain, when you're around manipulative people they eventually learn how to turn everything into a throwing dart

[Edgemoon]

 

 

 

I don't know the situation so I can't give you targeted advice but being gay/bi/trans/ace is not a weakness, they're just sexual orientations. You must be the first to know that, then if you don't tell others because you're reserved it's a thing but don't consider that as a weak point of your being

[金彩媛]

I don't know the situation so I can't give you targeted advice but being gay/bi/trans/ace is not a weakness, they're just sexual orientations. You must be the first to know that, then if you don't tell others because you're reserved it's a thing but don't consider that as a weak point of your being

yeah that's why I said it's a quirk at least in my family where in this aspect I'm the odd one out and no I'm not reserved when it comes to sexual orientation if the situation calls for it I'll let whoever know It's just that I can't trust my family to not turn everything about my being into shade thrown at me