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OneHallyu

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Yuri

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It's ironic that when I make advances to be closer to you — more so, to reach an understanding — that you use it to push me away. You outright deny your interest in me, yet continue to follow me closely. You leave sufficient traces of evidence. Your supposed silence is provoking.

I do not trust you. Hide as much as you like but your actions will still be as clear as daylight. You want me to notice you. Everything you do is related to whatever I do. Honestly, it feels ashaming to even think about wanting to disclose. You're intimidated by my presence even though I have not actively presented myself in this way.

I already did my best to make ends meet. I have tried to actively minimise this conflict. You, however, have made no effort in wanting to try to do the same; if not for me, at least for yourself. It's regretful. The investment I have placed in you — that has taken away my precious time — is very disappointing.

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Even though you catch your fish successfully, there are not enough words in my vocabulary to describe how much you actually stink.

When you get a chance to clean yourself, do it. You need it.

Edited by Lee
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  • 2 weeks later...

Usually im very hapy and feeling fulfilled. I can have horrible..my worst days but talking to you eases that. Hell, even thinking of you or a convo we had or inside joke we have makes me happy.

But its hurting me to know im in love with someone who i think..am almost positive loves me back but i don't have nerves to do anything. Itd be easier if we could see eachother irl. Am i delusional to think you want to go to grad school on east coast so its closer to me? Anw i hope u go to one in my state.  Where you could visit me maybe?  I have dreams about that constantly..

Even in texting... i miss daily ily & gn/gm texts. I miss how even tho we were dumb teenagers we talked about being married "id marry u rn if i could" i was thinking ab u telling me that earlier actually. Even  if i feel like were almost at that place we were for a yr before being official. We were dating without saying it and all our friends know.  But we talked ab our feelings then.  We said i love you but im too scared now.  Scared of ruining it. And im so dumb cuz ik you probs feel the same but there's at least 1% chance you dont. Not like i deserve it anyway. I dumped u in first place 6 yr ago. I dunno if i even deserve or earned forgiveness/2nd chance. 

God we both know you are more dominant person. I made it official first time so i hope if you still love me u can do it sometime. I don't think ill ever have the nerve rn. Maybe if we started saying ily & gn/gm again.  If we could be together in person... god. But for now stuck in my dreams. I just hope u haven't or womt move on. Selfish of me yea. If you do itll be ok since i still think you deserve better than me (what i said when i broke up w u) but if i make you happy im more than ok with that.  That's all i want. I honestly can t see myself loving anyone else and ive tried. But it come s back to this.  I hope we never lose contact again bc i can't see myself happy without you. Maybe moments but god you were...you r my best friend. Only person i can be 100% with.  Only person i talk to everyday. 

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The ugly in you came out the moment you decided to unnecessarily exclude me based on a supposed fault of character. Refute, but the evidence is there. It's embarrassing even for plain discussion.

For now, I would prefer to not assume anything else. Instead, I will only express my disappointment in you.

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