Holy Cow 197 Posted November 4, 2018 Share Posted November 4, 2018 I recently started working at this new company. The work I do now is different from the work I did before, so I needed some guidance. I am a quick learner so I learned what to do pretty quick. my manager helped me out a lot. I have a screen saver of xu weizhou and huang jingyu from 'Addicted' series(it's a chinese bl series). so my manager happened to see my screen saver and asked me who they were. I replied to him that they were some chinese actors. he contacts me sometime later in private and tells me that they starred in a bl drama and demands to know if i am gay. i deny to him but he coerced me to accept that i am gay or else he would make me working there difficult. it was fine for the first few days but he's been demanding sexual favours from me lately. i say to him that it's sexual harassment and i will report him to the HR. he laughs and says that you would be outed by doing so. i reply that you would be too and he says, yeah but no one knows that you're gay so the damage would be more to you and he says if i do something he would make it difficult for me to work in the industry. i'm super stressed as i like working here and i am slowly coming out of my shell and i think my social anxiety is a bit better now. i'm afraid i would slip back into depression. i can't tell my family as they are super homophobic and would tell me to just suck it up to protect my family's honour. i'm sorry for the long ass read. i just wanted to vent as i have no one in real life to rely on. thank you for listening. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KihyunsHoneybun 130 Posted November 4, 2018 Share Posted November 4, 2018 hm i guess i would have handled this differently from the start first, i never put guys i like on visible things because others tend to judge me or try to make it into something weird one time i had a cellphone background of jaejoong and my sister was like "eww he's like 12 youre a pedo." i was like "honey jaejoong is almost 30 years old so gtfo with that shit. you may think he looks 12 but he's a grown ass man" she left with her tail between her legs but since i know people are like this, i dont put the men i like on public things because i don't want to hear what people have to say about it second, if he pulled me aside and tried to imply that I was gay because i like some actors in a bl drama i would say "that's a strange assumption. they're just artists and i like art. i find it odd and insulting that you're trying to put a personal meaning on a professional admiration. sometimes choice in entertainment is just entertainment it's not a lifestyle" and then i would have left and let him feel stupid by himself. i also would have mentioned that my personal taste is not related to my work so we shouldn't be discussing it, its private. you gave him too much ground when he tried to corner you and now youre stuck i dont know what you can do now you basically admitted it and now he has your secret in his hand in a work environment. its a nightmare. i dont know how to navigate it. you may have to go ahead and take this up with human resources because its discrimination and sexual harassment and he's clearly not going to stop. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaibibi 2,286 Posted November 4, 2018 Share Posted November 4, 2018 Wtf. Report him. Or leave the company ASAP. Record all your conversations and save all the text and emails for evidence. Also just because you watch bi movie doesn’t mean you are gay, as long as you don’t admit it he has nothing against you. Is there anyone who you can trust in the company or friends outside to talk about this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoneyPopCupcake 2,421 Posted November 4, 2018 Share Posted November 4, 2018 hm i guess i would have handled this differently from the start first, i never put guys i like on visible things because others tend to judge me or try to make it into something weird one time i had a cellphone background of jaejoong and my sister was like "eww he's like 12 youre a pedo." i was like "honey jaejoong is almost 30 years old so gtfo with that shit. you may think he looks 12 but he's a grown ass man" she left with her tail between her legs but since i know people are like this, i dont put the men i like on public things because i don't want to hear what people have to say about it second, if he pulled me aside and tried to imply that I was gay because i like some actors in a bl drama i would say "that's a strange assumption. they're just artists and i like art. i find it odd and insulting that you're trying to put a personal meaning on a professional admiration. sometimes choice in entertainment is just entertainment it's not a lifestyle" and then i would have left and let him feel stupid by himself. i also would have mentioned that my personal taste is not related to my work so we shouldn't be discussing it, its private. you gave him too much ground when he tried to corner you and now youre stuck i dont know what you can do now you basically admitted it and now he has your secret in his hand in a work environment. its a nightmare. i dont know how to navigate it. you may have to go ahead and take this up with human resources because its discrimination and sexual harassment and he's clearly not going to stop. THIS First rule at work is don't use those kind of screen savers cause it looks unprofessional and dude, you should've acted cool from the start. Just report him or get another job since he's taking things waaay too far Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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