what advice do u have for someone going through the "bitter ex" phase

[tamarind]

^^^^

???

[BadByeBae]

Avoid, avoid, avoid. 100% no contact. If you genuinely want friendship someday/want a version of them in your life, have absolutely no contact for a good, long while. Cleanse your soul and revisit. Don't rebound. Stream great kpop, hang with friends, don't drink too much. Try not to b!tch about them too much, although some is good. Distract that brain.

 

If it's all their bitterness, avoid avoid avoid and don't let them guilt trip you into communicating. Be firm, clear, and impersonal. "Hey, I don't think it's good if we talk, let's give each other space." things like that.

 

Of course, if you want nothing to do with them ever ever because they're being such jerks, 100% no contact but tell them that's what you're doing and send a creative meme or two as well making it clear you hope they disappear like vapor. Also, to not be a bitter jerk. That's the atomic option, however.

[tamarind]

Avoid, avoid, avoid. 100% no contact. If you genuinely want friendship someday/want a version of them in your life, have absolutely no contact for a good, long while. Cleanse your soul and revisit. Don't rebound. Stream great kpop, hang with friends, don't drink too much. Try not to b!tch about them too much, although some is good. Distract that brain.

 

If it's all their bitterness, avoid avoid avoid and don't let them guilt trip you into communicating. Be firm, clear, and impersonal. "Hey, I don't think it's good if we talk, let's give each other space." things like that.

 

Of course, if you want nothing to do with them ever ever because they're being such jerks, 100% no contact but tell them that's what you're doing and send a creative meme or two as well making it clear you hope they disappear like vapor. Also, to not be a bitter jerk. That's the atomic option, however.

 

i've been avoiding him for nearly the entire time since our break up but i find it soooooooooooooo hard not to bitch about how he cheats even when we were in an open relationship i can't fathom y he can't comply to the rules. i want to bitch about him to everyone even strangers and i think that makes me the bitterest of ex.

 

i appreciate ur advice v much but idk how not to bitch. i even want to bitch here on oh fuck.

[HoneyPopCupcake]

Let it all out with a trusty friend, not with everyone. Do some hobbies that take your mind off of the issue 

[tamarind]

Let it all out with a trusty friend, not with everyone. Do some hobbies that take your mind off of the issue 

 

trust me, i have. multiple time. they're probably so over it rn.

 

my bobby is traveling and i can't do that atm. the other hobby is reading but i can't concentrate lol. thanks tho

[HoneyPopCupcake]

trust me, i have. multiple time. they're probably so over it rn.

 

my bobby is traveling and i can't do that atm. the other hobby is reading but i can't concentrate lol. thanks tho

Try something different (meaning the hobby thing), there's really no other way 

[tamarind]

Try something different (meaning the hobby thing), there's really no other way 

 

i really hope i'm a frequent drinker but i'm the farthest thing from that. it could've been my new hobby

[BadByeBae]

i've been avoiding him for nearly the entire time since our break up but i find it soooooooooooooo hard not to bitch about how he cheats even when we were in an open relationship i can't fathom y he can't comply to the rules. i want to bitch about him to everyone even strangers and i think that makes me the bitterest of ex.

 

i appreciate ur advice v much but idk how not to bitch. i even want to bitch here on oh fuck.

Oh I hear you when I'm screwed over I'm SO ANGRY with everyone and they get overwhelmed and go AHHHH STOOOOOOP.

 

The secret really is distraction, even if it's just watching bad TV shows (or becoming obsessed with kpop *cough cough* - it's been a bad summer) - hobbies can take effort, so wonderful mindlessness could be good? Fall down Youtube rabbit holes! Get obsessed with a mobile game (but not expensive ones) Then maybe transition slowly back to reading? Do you read comics? They can be a lighter but more visual version.

 

Or, if it's within your comfort zone, casual relationships for a bit? Do some dates with charming strangers, etc etc.

[HoneyPopCupcake]

i really hope i'm a frequent drinker but i'm the farthest thing from that. it could've been my new hobby

I hope not OP, that was my dad's ''hobby'' and it didn't help him at all 

[tamarind]

I hope not OP, that was my dad's ''hobby'' and it didn't help him at all 

 

yeah i'm glad.

 

sorry btw shouldn't have mentioned that

[tamarind]

Oh I hear you when I'm screwed over I'm SO ANGRY with everyone and they get overwhelmed and go AHHHH STOOOOOOP.

 

The secret really is distraction, even if it's just watching bad TV shows (or becoming obsessed with kpop *cough cough* - it's been a bad summer) - hobbies can take effort, so wonderful mindlessness could be good? Fall down Youtube rabbit holes! Get obsessed with a mobile game (but not expensive ones) Then maybe transition slowly back to reading? Do you read comics? They can be a lighter but more visual version.

 

Or, if it's within your comfort zone, casual relationships for a bit? Do some dates with charming strangers, etc etc.

 

sadly kpop has always been a thing in my life lol (a fan for nearly 9 years). i've been trying to cook and watch ted talks but neither help and i don't date casually either. it was my first and only relationship. it's probably y i have such a hard time letting it go.

 

maybe i'll try to play the sims and make a storyline where i wreck his house. this just crossed my mind asdfghj

 

also what kind of "bad summer"?

[HoneyPopCupcake]

yeah i'm glad.

 

sorry btw shouldn't have mentioned that

It's ok, good luck, I hope you feel better soon and get over that phase 

[BadByeBae]

sadly kpop has always been a thing in my life lol (a fan for nearly 9 years). i've been trying to cook and watch ted talks but neither help and i don't date casually either. it was my first and only relationship. it's probably y i have such a hard time letting it go.

 

maybe i'll try to play the sims and make a storyline where i wreck his house. this just crossed my mind asdfghj

 

also what kind of "bad summer"?

Haha good idea my husband is currently going through a sims 4 phase, complete with ridiculous mods, and his vampire lord is really wrecking havoc.

 

Oh, beloved pet died, (as did one of my husband's family pets), extended family issues, horrible migraines, town flooded, we both got bad food poisoning that lasted forever. Just a pile of mess, but getting much better, thank you for asking!

It does get easier with each one - time will help the most, I'm sorry. That's the only true answer. One day you'll wake up and you won't even notice until you're like "huh, I haven't had a silent rant in my head for like HOURS about the jerk" and you know it's begun.

[tamarind]

Haha good idea my husband is currently going through a sims 4 phase, complete with ridiculous mods, and his vampire lord is really wrecking havoc.

 

Oh, beloved pet died, (as did one of my husband's family pets), extended family issues, horrible migraines, town flooded, we both got bad food poisoning that lasted forever. Just a pile of mess, but getting much better, thank you for asking!

It does get easier with each one - time will help the most, I'm sorry. That's the only true answer. One day you'll wake up and you won't even notice until you're like "huh, I haven't had a silent rant in my head for like HOURS about the jerk" and you know it's begun.

 

ah, sorry about ur bad summer! fall will be much better i promise. it's my favourite season.

 

i hope so. the last month has been torture. thanks!

[beautifulLadeu]

try to attract yourself with someone or something else... try to develop yourself