DocumentaLy 6,033 Posted October 14, 2018 Share Posted October 14, 2018 A long, but interesting, article: https://www.thecut.com/2018/10/when-asian-women-are-harassed-for-marrying-non-asian-men.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SeeYaWithYou 4,415 Posted October 14, 2018 Share Posted October 14, 2018 So this article was very interesting and I agreed with a lot of the points. I just don't think that the writer got a good sample of interview subjects to highlight some of the overlapping issues. Like she talked about how asian guys typically make asian girls feel like if they are dating outside of their race they are contributing to the emasculation of asian men, which yes is fucked up, but then she goes on to talk about how that isn't actually the case most of the time. Like yes, asian men treating asian women dating outside of their race like negative reflection on them is problematic AF and really fucked up but like...you can argue that in a way where you don't play into the "this is why I don't date asian men" narrative. Which is literally what she admits to doing by the end of the first section. What I'm trying to say is, she is saying one thing but the way she wrote this article is kind of doing the opposite. It's just really frustrating that we can't tackle misogyny in the asian community without selling out members of our race. And you also can't talk about this subject while ignoring the idea that its more than dating outside of the asian race, but these people who harass others for who they choose to date also harass asian girls if they date any non-East Asian guy. Do you know how many girls are seen as "settling" or "stepping down" for dating SEA guys? It's all these overlapping oppressions that these harassers put upon asian girls, that I wish the article talked about more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bad Boy 334 Posted October 14, 2018 Share Posted October 14, 2018 I have no qualms about dating outside of you race and people who make a big deal out of it are stupid. But it is ironic how a lot of Asian girls don’t date Asian guys because they want to come across as more “Westernisedâ€. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Floraison 54 Posted October 14, 2018 Share Posted October 14, 2018 Yeah... I see what she's trying to say, and I agree to an extent. Interracial relationships are fine imo, as long as you're not disrespecting your own race to prop up another. And I'm that glad she recognized her internalized discrimination against Asian men, that's a start at least. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mingming 'Beto' Carlson 561 Posted October 14, 2018 Share Posted October 14, 2018 Most Asians in general do not have preferences for a black person and some will not even bother to consider dating one so if we're going to be honest and specific, this is an issue strictly in regards to the Asian woman + white male coupling. I LOLed at how she doesn't address this particular pairing in the article and instead, tries tackling the issue in a broad sense saying it's a problem with Asian women dating or preferring "non-Asian guys". Uhh no, it's definitely more like an Asian women preferring white guys thing. She totally did not dig in deep enough with this issue because once readers get a sense that it's more of a case of a form of white-worship rather than just dating preferences, they won't be so sympathetic towards her xD This is also the case with gay Asian men. Many will also only date white guys and not date each other lol. I definitely do not condone the harassment that she has gone through though and some of those messages were super foul. I don't think this issue with those Asian guys comes from a place of misogyny. Probably more of an inferiority complex and then when you bring in the white guys with white privilege and your race's own women preferring white guys over you as an Asian guy…. it can really feed the negative feelings of these Asian guys. I did a little snooping around Aznidentity reddit forums and a lot of them are angry at her in regards to the story where she wrote about the problematic Asian man White woman couple because they felt like she was misrepresenting Asian men in a spot where it should've been an White male + Asian female because this pairing is the more common pairing and it's actually the one with all the family issues. There's another subreddit called Hapa and almost all the messed up self-hating guys there complaining have white dads and Asian moms. This in turn opens up another can of issues which I don't wanna talk about cuz I'm lazy. There's her book and then there's also her Twitter comments expressing her disinterest in Asian guys saying she sees them as her brothers/cousins which I personally think is BS. Like who thinks like that?? Saying you see strangers of the opposite sex of your own race as siblings? It's stupid lmao. Somewhere in the article she says that this issue shouldn't only be pinned on Asian women and I actually agree with her here. I think there's a whole lot of reasons why Asian women/gay people, most especially Asian Americans, go for white guys over their own race. Generally speaking, I think it mostly has to do with certain Asian family dynamics and the media being consumed, and possibly a bit with looks and wanting to fit in xD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xingyi 189 Posted October 14, 2018 Share Posted October 14, 2018 What does this remind me of... Ah yeh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brume 693 Posted October 14, 2018 Share Posted October 14, 2018 This reminds me. I was watching several videos of Crazy Rich Asians and one of them was a video of the casts with their real life spouses. Most of the female casts are/were married to white men and bunch of comments were bashing and humiliating them and they were accused of self-hate for marrying white guys. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mulmul 191 Posted October 14, 2018 Share Posted October 14, 2018 Whew It's bad when you're relieved it's "merely" assholes online (still bad, but...). I was actually afraid of more Naomi Wu situations. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thefacts 338 Posted October 14, 2018 Share Posted October 14, 2018 No one should be harassed for dating outsides their race. At the same time, you should not date outside of your race based on internalized racist and fetishization reasons. Your mixed/biracial children will be the ones to bear the consequences of your self-hating/fetishization "preferences." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Stupid Jellyfish 1,913 Posted October 14, 2018 Share Posted October 14, 2018 But the outlook of the Asian men behind messages — and posts — like those above also echoes another group: white supremacists. A startling number of posts on subreddits like AZNidentity, as well as harassing messages on social media, use language like “cultural genocide†and “eugenics.†I've skimmed through aznidentity quite a few times and this is 100% true. The way they type... The things they say... It reminds me so much of Stormfront. Just replace a few words here and there and you really would think you were reading messages from white supremacists. They pretend to be woke but in reality their way of thinking isn't much different from your run of the mill white supremacist. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DocumentaLy 6,033 Posted October 15, 2018 Author Share Posted October 15, 2018 Most Asians in general do not have preferences for a black person and some will not even bother to consider dating one so if we're going to be honest and specific, this is an issue strictly in regards to the Asian woman + white male coupling. I LOLed at how she doesn't address this particular pairing in the article and instead, tries tackling the issue in a broad sense saying it's a problem with Asian women dating or preferring "non-Asian guys". Uhh no, it's definitely more like an Asian women preferring white guys thing. She totally did not dig in deep enough with this issue because once readers get a sense that it's more of a case of a form of white-worship rather than just dating preferences, they won't be so sympathetic towards her xD This is also the case with gay Asian men. Many will also only date white guys and not date each other lol. I definitely do not condone the harassment that she has gone through though and some of those messages were super foul. I don't think this issue with those Asian guys comes from a place of misogyny. Probably more of an inferiority complex and then when you bring in the white guys with white privilege and your race's own women preferring white guys over you as an Asian guy…. it can really feed the negative feelings of these Asian guys. I did a little snooping around Aznidentity reddit forums and a lot of them are angry at her in regards to the story where she wrote about the problematic Asian man White woman couple because they felt like she was misrepresenting Asian men in a spot where it should've been an White male + Asian female because this pairing is the more common pairing and it's actually the one with all the family issues. There's another subreddit called Hapa and almost all the messed up self-hating guys there complaining have white dads and Asian moms. This in turn opens up another can of issues which I don't wanna talk about cuz I'm lazy. There's her book and then there's also her Twitter comments expressing her disinterest in Asian guys saying she sees them as her brothers/cousins which I personally think is BS. Like who thinks like that?? Saying you see strangers of the opposite sex of your own race as siblings? It's stupid lmao. Somewhere in the article she says that this issue shouldn't only be pinned on Asian women and I actually agree with her here. I think there's a whole lot of reasons why Asian women/gay people, most especially Asian Americans, go for white guys over their own race. Generally speaking, I think it mostly has to do with certain Asian family dynamics and the media being consumed, and possibly a bit with looks and wanting to fit in xD I'm reminded now of how Asian men and black women are the groups least likely to get married in the US. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oppa did mean it 1,607 Posted October 15, 2018 Share Posted October 15, 2018 I always found it weird that Asian Women and White Men are the most common interracial relationship in the US, and not hispanic-white or black-white or even black-latino, especially seeing how Asian are small minority compared to the other two minorities. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
putangina 127 Posted October 15, 2018 Share Posted October 15, 2018 What does this remind me of... Ah yeh The thing about that is both black women and men call each other sellouts for dating outside their race if you were black you'd know this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xingyi 189 Posted October 16, 2018 Share Posted October 16, 2018 The thing about that is both black women and men call each other sellouts for dating outside their race if you were black you'd know this. How does that make it okay? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thefacts 338 Posted October 16, 2018 Share Posted October 16, 2018 How does that make it okay? No it does not make it okay, but at least black people don't kill,lynch, or disown someone for being in a interracial relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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