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OneHallyu

The Random Thought Thread


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I laugh so hard every time a yg Stan says this is smhallyu when the big bang and winner NB got locked for fighting and getting off topic with ikonics and ic when the pann about baekhyun is not locked

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If I ever see an SNSD / Jessica fan complain about too many charting threads again...

I hate it when people tell me I should act like a normal teenager rather than an adult..first of all, I like the way I speak, I like the music I listen to, the movies I watch, the way I dress, I enjoy being mature for my age and I'm not about to change because of what everyone else wants or thinks.

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i'm using this as a space to rant out because i can't have any of my friends knowing... idt the random thought thread is for this but i need somewhere so lol maybe ignore this please i just feel embarrassed i'm a shit human i just need to get myself together this is my own problem

 

 

i can't eat without feeling guilty. usually i only eat a bit of dinner dinner, skip breakfast and throw away lunch because i hate feeling... full? i hate feeling like i'm putting something in my stomach, i'm terrified of getting fat, i feel fucking obese if my stomach isn't completely flat, and it's ridiculous, because i like food a lot, but eating makes me scared. i'm 5'11 and 48kg and when i plucked up the guts to weigh myself the other day that made me happy??? my bmi is 15 and i feel like that's a good thing? what's more disgusting is that... i saw i was in the 'severely underweight' rather than 'very severely underweight' category and i got sad that i wasn't as thin as i could be. if i see people skinnier than me i get desperately sad and apparently my weight is verging on dangerous and i'm at risk of heart attacks and i don't want to die... those weird chest pains i get scare me?? could it be related to that? i'm terrified of that i have a fucking great life ahead of me i don't want to waste myself with my stupid obsession of being THIN i need to knock some sense into myself i don't know what's wrong with me i know this is stupid but i keep doing it, i feel like i've failed myself if i put on any weight, i'm supposed to be smart, for fuck's sake. i'm so upset and mad at myself

 

I know this is wrong and i need to fix it, so i'm not anorexic or anything and i'm very, very aware that people are a lot worse.. i feel like an attention seeker for even putting this here but i need to visualise my rant so i can hopefully wake up a bit... i don't need to lose weight... i'm just a complete fucking idiot

 

 

 

 

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