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Lee

The Random Thought Thread

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I just remembered the highlight of my Christmas waitressing hell. Today some 40-50 year old dude gave me his phone number (I'm only 21) and it was one of the most uncomfortable experiences of my life lol

 

That was the first and last time I'm ever wearing red lipstick to work asfda I only wore it to be festive. Instead I got so many uncomfortable winks, etc on top of that. Like, wtf....it's just red lips. Yes girls look stunning with them but to that extent? Chill?

 

 at least the tips were fucking fantastic. lmao.  hi $300 in my pocket

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gdi I just made this DP and now I have to change again. At least when I re-gif it, it'll look nice i guess.

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this new gif size is a headache. every size I try seems either to big or too small. I feel like 105 is perfect but then it's too grainy

 

LbclPD7.gif

 

rippppp

 

disclaimer: i also suck at making gifs though lmaooo

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one of my favorite things about bap is how their fans still blow whistles during performances after all these years. Watch their debut or a recent performance and they're there. It's just kinda heartwarming to think about like...6 years and that's always stayed the same.

 

it just hit me that they're hitting 6 years this month what....the fuc k

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i think i'm dyeing my hair burgundy/some kind of red

 

strand test is in

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for basically my entire life my older brother has had bad drug issues....it's a pretty loaded and personal subject so i won't go into it lol.  HOWEVER because of this, my entire family's expectations have always been shoved on me and so, naturally, i've always felt an immense amount of pressure bc I'm basically my parents' only shot at a success story, Well...I think the weight of this is finally crushing me. I want more than anything for them to have a successful kid, I just don't want it to be me. I'm burnt out, have lost all motivation, and am on the verge of just dropping out of college bc of it. I don't want to do anything with my life bc depression, probably, is kicking my ass and I'm just so sick of it.

 

and i just don't know what to do. i almost feel like help is out of the question because a month or so ago my (diagnosed) anxiety had gotten bad (i stopped taking meds forever ago) and i mentioned to my dad that i was going to make an appointment, the only reason i said anything is so he'd know i was using the insurance. he just tried to tell me that anxiety wasn't a real disorder and to take an aspirin...?  and i know he couldn't be more wrong...but i instantly lost the desire to reach out lol.

 

this is really tmi and idk why i'm posting it here of all places but i've been carrying this around (and more) every day for as long as i can remember and i just want to get even a fraction of it off my chest. and, come to think of it, that's really the worst part of it all...that no one understands. none of my friends have ever been in a position like this with a family member and so none can relate. they always tell me i put too much pressure on myself but no, you don't get it, i don't have a choice. And after realizing that, I just feel so much more alone. Idk what to do. I feel like such a failure,

 

again sorry if you read this LOL. it's just been a long day and everyone needs to vent sometimes u feel ;;

 

Edited by aeromancy
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Don't get me wrong, I love blackpink, but I'm so bored of them performing pwf. 

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gdi! I just got over a cold not two weeks ago and now I have what I'm assuming is the flu? i almost never get sick what is this

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So like, I've been stuck at ~125 pounds for eons now and it just occurred to me that I've been trying to lose my last 10 lbs.

They always say the last 10 are the hardest but damn I didn't know it was this hard! No matter what I do I just can't dip below 125

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depression is kicking my ass lately and idk what to do. i have no energy for college anymore...but if i don't push through it come summer I know i'll hate myself for it.

why is it so hard to just stop being stuck in my own head

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the prettiest kitten alive is free to a good home (by the 29th) in my area

 

00a0a_abbK6RZdcxe_600x450.jpg

00b0b_2YOFIooln2F_600x450.jpg

 

why's my cat an asshole....he's so beautiful rlytearpls.png

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my parents deserve the world, why can't this one thing just work out for them.

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bc of morbid curiosity i've been reading johnny got his gun...and this shit's giving me an existential crisis. it's so unsettling and i've felt uncomfortable all day but i can't stop reading asdfsa

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somehow pulled a muscle in my neck earlier and it's making studying so hard. every time i move my head a millimeter it hurts afadsdf

i have a math exam tmr too...but i think i have no choice but to go to bed. i don't want to cram but i guess i'll kinda have to now :(

 

like, the material ain't even hard and i've understood the homework. i just need to put it all together and focus on nailing it...i can do it

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it still blows my mind that boom boom is one of a lot of peoples' least fave titles

 

 

the instrumental is so banging

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it's probably bc jisoo's is the only one that's changed so far but my arrangement looks so weird now ;;

 

i don't want seungkwan's to change.  his current >

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i hate finishing the two towers bc the third movie is so dang sad 

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u ever sit back and realize how fucking weird giraffes are

 

6.jpg

 

they don't even look like animals

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i've been watching designer handbag unboxings and the standard louis vuitton brown print is so ugly....what is the appeal 

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why'd i let myself get behind on notes....i have ~200 powerpoint slides to catch up on warstarplz.png

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that high note ahmagahplz.png

it sounds so good why'd i watch this asffd

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