Friend tells me what she and my ex do together

[wonderwice]

My ex and I ended on bad terms. He was really rude to me even after a year of our break up. We have mutual friends and classmates so he will pop up once in awhile on photos or class chats.

 

I have this friend and my ex has also been rude to her multiple times. She knew about my situation too but they sort of became friends again. My friend tells me what she and her ex are going to do together. Like if they’re going to hangout or when she invited him for something. Yesterday I told her to refrain from talking about him with me for at least a month but she didn’t respond to my suggestion. Later that day, she told me that she’s going to add back my ex in Facebook.

 

Is she trying to be a good friend by letting me know what she and my ex are going to do together so I won’t be surprised or is she just showing off? Should I ignore her or let her be? She could tell how curious I am about him (like I would ask follow-up questions) but I think she knows that I also get hurt in the end.

[azran]

If she's purposefully doing something that she knows you're uncomfortable with, she's not a very good friend.

[BlinkleBee]

sounds like a not so good friend to me tho ...why even hanging out with your ex if they weren't even friends before you both got together. 

[FactMan]

She definitely seems like a snake if you made it clear you don't wanna know :(

[Kaitoh]

Time to drop her

[blond jenissi]

Is she trying to be a good friend by letting me know what she and my ex are going to do together so I won’t be surprised or is she just showing off?

 

This would have probably been the case if she stopped after you told her to. I find it strange that she's now friends w/ him knowing how he treated you (and her). Doesn't sound like a good friend to me :/ Ask her again to avoid talking about it when w/ you and if she continues maybe try to ignore it when she mentions stuff like that and act like you couldn't care less (even if you're curious af don't ask more about it, don't react to it). I wish I had better advice ._.

[HoneyPopCupcake]

I lowkey think she likes him or something, and yeah, I don't think she's a good friend if you asked her to stop talking about him but something fishy is going on there

[arineunha]

i dont think she's just going to be friends with him, its suspicious for them to just become friends after you two broke up. but you probably know your friend more, so maybe it would be good to see what happens before you drop her (if you decide to). let her know that talking about him makes you uncomfortable, if she doesn't listen she's not being a good friend

[Pessego]

Me personally I feel like she just wanted to let u know that they are hanging out before someone else does. circles are small and the rumor mill is always turning and people like to cause drama. So Im thinking she wanted to give u a heads up before someone else tells you because let's be honest if she hangs out with ur ex without telling u wouldn't u be even more mad than u are now..... now on the other hand I don't think she could continue telling u stuff about what ur ex and her are doing cause like u said that's not something you dont wanna know about. So yeah that's my 2 cents

[UMJI MOODS]

Lose both quickly.

[Oli London]

Shit friend.

[Unfair_]

she probably wants his d sis

[wonderwice]

sounds like a not so good friend to me tho ...why even hanging out with your ex if they weren't even friends before you both got together. 

 

Actually they were both friends before we were but they argue often. And she told me not too long ago, "Why would I be around someone who makes me feel that way?" (that he brings her down, makes her feel bad about herself).

 

Now she's saying, "he's alright" even though she knew how he treated me just this week. 

Just because he is not treating her bad right now, she talks to him and doesn't mind hanging out.

"Trying to be civil" as she said. 

 

 

This would have probably been the case if she stopped after you told her to. I find it strange that she's now friends w/ him knowing how he treated you (and her). Doesn't sound like a good friend to me :/ Ask her again to avoid talking about it when w/ you and if she continues maybe try to ignore it when she mentions stuff like that and act like you couldn't care less (even if you're curious af don't ask more about it, don't react to it). I wish I had better advice ._.

 

I find it strange too. I'll just not react to it as much and I'll ask her again. 

And I appreciate yours and everyone's advice. Thank you!

 

 

I lowkey think she likes him or something, and yeah, I don't think she's a good friend if you asked her to stop talking about him but something fishy is going on there

 

i dont think she's just going to be friends with him, its suspicious for them to just become friends after you two broke up. but you probably know your friend more, so maybe it would be good to see what happens before you drop her (if you decide to). let her know that talking about him makes you uncomfortable, if she doesn't listen she's not being a good friend

 

Hmm probably. Well, my friend doesn't "like" him but my ex likes her. So idk. 

I'll just see what happens and lower my expectations.

And yeah, I feel like she's not considering how I'm feeling right now regarding this situation. 

 

 

Me personally I feel like she just wanted to let u know that they are hanging out before someone else does. circles are small and the rumor mill is always turning and people like to cause drama. So Im thinking she wanted to give u a heads up before someone else tells you because let's be honest if she hangs out with ur ex without telling u wouldn't u be even more mad than u are now..... now on the other hand I don't think she could continue telling u stuff about what ur ex and her are doing cause like u said that's not something you dont wanna know about. So yeah that's my 2 cents

 

That's really true. I might have reacted like that. 

 

Thank you! 

[BlinkleBee]

Actually they were both friends before we were but they argue often. And she told me not too long ago, "Why would I be around someone who makes me feel that way?" (that he brings her down, makes her feel bad about herself).

 

Now she's saying, "he's alright" even though she knew how he treated me just this week. 

Just because he is not treating her bad right now, she talks to him and doesn't mind hanging out.

"Trying to be civil" as she said. 

 

Well then it could be that she is trying to take revenge on you , since you were with him while he was treating her bad , so now she is somehow trying to do the same to you.

[HoneyPopCupcake]

Hmm probably. Well, my friend doesn't "like" him but my ex likes her. So idk. 

I'll just see what happens and lower my expectations.

And yeah, I feel like she's not considering how I'm feeling right now regarding this situation. 

Something weird is going on there, maybe she doesn't wanna admit or doesn't even realize she likes him, otherwise, why would she still want to talk to him and hang out? the only good thing is she's being honest

 

& yeah she doesn't seem to care :/

[Suzy Quatro]

Is she trying to be a good friend by letting me know what she and my ex are going to do together so I won’t be surprised or is she just showing off? Should I ignore her or let her be? She could tell how curious I am about him (like I would ask follow-up questions) but I think she knows that I also get hurt in the end.

 

 

This is the type of thing you should discuss with your friend, otherwise there's really no way to know what's going on. Also you need to be super clear, and committed, to how you want to handle this.

 

If I was in a similar position I would tell my friend that I don't care if he likes my ex, wants to sleep with her, or whatever, but I just don't want to know about it. For me that stuff would be just painful and there's no good in you getting to know those details as long as you still hold feelings about that relationship.

[wonderwice]

Well then it could be that she is trying to take revenge on you , since you were with him while he was treating her bad , so now she is somehow trying to do the same to you.

 

Thanks for your input!

It's gonna be a long story to explain but I don't think she's the type to take revenge on me for my narcissist ex. Well I hope not.

I'm just trying to move on with my life now. My ex is not worth keeping anyway 

 

Something weird is going on there, maybe she doesn't wanna admit or doesn't even realize she likes him, otherwise, why would she still want to talk to him and hang out? the only good thing is she's being honest

 

& yeah she doesn't seem to care :/

 

Yeah, I honestly don't understand why she still wants to hangout with him. But she sometimes shows me their text conversations with each other, and my ex talks to her as if they're best friends. I don't want to ask her if she likes him right now. Maybe later. 

 

I don't know. Maybe it's just me who needs to move on and let go of my ex already.

They're allowed to have a meaningful relationship.

I told her what I've been uncomfortable with yesterday and I think she understands now. 

Thank you!! (:

 

 

This is the type of thing you should discuss with your friend, otherwise there's really no way to know what's going on. Also you need to be super clear, and committed, to how you want to handle this.

 

If I was in a similar position I would tell my friend that I don't care if he likes my ex, wants to sleep with her, or whatever, but I just don't want to know about it. For me that stuff would be just painful and there's no good in you getting to know those details as long as you still hold feelings about that relationship.

 

Yes, I've discussed it with her and I think she understands now (: 

I told her again that I don't want to know when they hangout or know about other things they are doing together. 

 

Anything to help me heal properly, not think about him for awhile, and move on with my life. 

It is painful, but I'm learning to accept things now. 

 

Thank you!!! 

[HoneyPopCupcake]

 

Yeah, I honestly don't understand why she still wants to hangout with him. But she sometimes shows me their text conversations with each other, and my ex talks to her as if they're best friends. I don't want to ask her if she likes him right now. Maybe later. 

 

I don't know. Maybe it's just me who needs to move on and let go of my ex already.

They're allowed to have a meaningful relationship.

I told her what I've been uncomfortable with yesterday and I think she understands now. 

Thank you!! (:

 

 

 

Yes, I've discussed it with her and I think she understands now (: 

 

 

That's girl code though. but yeah I also think you should focus on other stuff like yourself, do some activities you like or invest time on hobbies Good luck