should I quit?

[beingpositivehere]

so I have this group project which is making business in one semester. There is one guy who is my friend. He is appointed as the CEO of our “company†and basically our team leader. The thing that distract me is he kinda look down on me, eversince the first semester. He would always attacked and critized my presentation as proving his statement is the right one, although actually I’m the one who is right (based on everyone’s presentation) but because i was lack on public speaking so i could not prove my point properly.

 

What I dont like about him is he often looked down on people and gossiping mean things that sometimes beyond words (like bodyshaming,racist,sexism, objectifying women, etc). The thing about him is he is good at words, so although he is wrong or people blame him, he can defend himself very well (for example he once becomes a chairman of one big event and majority said it was because of his poor management that the event failed, but he defend himself and searched for others escaped goats).

 

so from the start he has doubting my potential when I asked to become cfo or coo (basically the group consist of 5, so shouldnt it is normal to appointed everyone in high level to have strategical position) and like asking the group if there should be staff (basically me because everyone already had their high position). He also stated once that I’m not really smart but then when I tried to discuss with him he said he never said that.

 

so today I’m actually sick and cannot come into campus since yesterday. They now have some discussion on filtering ideas. The thing that bother me is that in saturday I chat him and ranting about how he kinda looked down on me in the most respective way. He agained try to defend himself very well so i said sorry, maybe I was the one who misunderstood. I still submit my idea in ppt with background, idea, technical aspect, benefits, etc so they can easily understand.

 

the thing is today i tried to call them and i have feeling that he already told the members of my group and tried to make himself become the right one like what he usually do. I felt like that as i hearf the tone of their voice seems different as in i missed something. one of the member also said to my friend that from the start, i actually an outlier that not match well with them (all of them are avid gamers). i offered them for me to make the prototype of app or website for the business but they refuse. they said the will call me when they have done filtering the ideas.

 

i said sorry to them but this guy jokingly said that he will erased my name from ppt. he also seemed pretty annoyed since the start of our convo and repeteadly joking about how i’m a free rider, etc when i already submitted my idea and give a call to help. Its also not for nothing but because i’m sick. I observed that many times he jokes like that to people, it actually means something.

 

i’m just very tired to be this paranoid because of this one guy. he also discourage me to go to competition with my friend. he said to me that gpa is not a measure of people’s knowledge because i have the highest gpa in my major and his gpa is average. he used to kinda accused me that i did task by cheating (plagiarism etc) when I just looking for summary from other ppt so i can understand more about the lesson.

 

should i just quit or something?

[YuMing]

I mean it depends on how important the project is I guess.... if you could find a new group that would be best but if it's already too late and you need this grade then I guess just stick it out  he sounds like a complete jerk yikes

 

maybe explain to your other group mates your situation?

[Eodumi Jiteulsulog Joa]

wow,this is some Cheese in the Trap realness

 

 tough situation you are in,op

i think that if you quit,people will say "oh we were right about her/him" etc etc and the manipulative guy will get what he wants, plus the applause from the other group. And you will lose the points

if i were you, i would stay, but i would be really careful with my actions and worlds.Like i would be kind, but also cool/indifferent, not emotionally invested,avoid direct confrontation and subltly underline this guy's manipulative behaviour. Make the others say it for you in these kind of situations. Idk if it's too late for you to do that though

Good luck to you nonetheless

[Ego ista]

Stick it out and prove you’re not some pushover make him regret the day he ever crossed you

[blossoms]

come back with a vengeance

just do your best and try not to mind him, just do it for you and your other teammates. Put forward your ideas because after all you're still the one doing the right thing.

[Ruth Lehus]

Depends on your feeling. Follow what your heart said.

#Helio

[FriedChicken]

Prove him that you can do better than him. Good luck!

[borealis]

if it's an important project and you can't risk the grades then i think you need to stay. just do your responsibility properly as a group member, be kind to everyone including him but not in a kissing ass way (like normal amount of kindness lol sorry for my bad choices in words). i'd advice you to not explain your situation when you are still doing this project because it will mess the whole team i guess, like it will divide the team between those who agree with that guy and you. just go with the flow, for the sake of your awesome grade. tell the other members that you are not a free rider and actually have a value as a team member through your action. if i were you i won't explain my position to anyone even after the project ends, because probably some people will act different to him and it leads to him manipulate everyone to think that he is not the wrong one. sometimes you don't have to explain your situation if the chance of you getting harmed is bigger and eh you can always find new friends.

 

to summarize it: don't quit, just do your responsibility in this team. show them your value through your action. maintain your grade. good luck! it must be hard for you

[Wade-kun]

Is quitting an option? Do you mean dropping the course or quitting the group?

 

come back with a vengeance

just do your best and try not to mind him, just do it for you and your other teammates. Put forward your ideas because after all you're still the one doing the right thing.

 

I kinda agree with @blossoms. Don't mind him and just do what you need to do. 

 

If I were you, I'd just aim to pass the subject and graduate asap. What they think of me won't matter because pretty sure I won't be asked by future employers to present testimonials by these teammates. My GPA shall be the more tangible measure of my success.

 

That being said, you can also take this as an opportunity to objectively reflect on your weakness(es). Just get involved with the project as much as you can and just learn, soak up whatever new knowledge you can get. With this mindset, you'll have nothing to lose but all to gain. 

 

Public speaking skill is good to have but lacking in that area shouldn't stop you from getting your message across. It sometimes take a bit of effort - lay down your points, research on more supporting facts, organize them, so you can put forth your thoughts orderly and convincingly. If you don't want your lack of confidence in this area to remain impediments in the future, you need to start practicing. It will pay off.

[beingpositivehere]

wow thankyou everyone for the answers!! yes i will not quit and sacrifice my grade and time just for him. You guys words are very encouraging and I will try my best for this project

[Eodumi Jiteulsulog Joa]

wow thankyou everyone for the answers!! yes i will not quit and sacrifice my grade and time just for him. You guys words are very encouraging and I will try my best for this project

good luck op! í™”ì´íŒ…!!