beingpositivehere 97 Posted September 20, 2018 Share Posted September 20, 2018 so I just starting my the new term in campus and come to one realization that I’m not really smart compared to my other classmates. I felt like I lack of knowledge in anything and more of “textbook†person which I will forget after the test ended. I became worried at some point as most of my classmates are seem knowledgeable in some area while I have none I’m excel with. Fyi I got the highest GPA in my major but I began to wonder that GPA is not really a good measure on people’s knowledge. I felt like I left out by my friends and being clueless of everything. My friend even said that I’m not really smart and don’t know how to deliver what’s in my mind. I used to have a major depression which led to suicidal attempts and self harm. At some point I did not have any interest in anything and just want to slept and have many awful thoughts. I used to have social anxiety and disabled my social media because I could not handle interaction with people outside my comfort zone, it was too tiring. I dont know but I suspect that this depression and self harm (which many times pointed to my head like punching hard or push my head hard to the wall and etc) led to the decrease of eloquency, proccessing etc. I felt like I missed many things and dont know how to cope with it. My classmates are highly competitive and I just felt so low compared to them although I achieved highest GPA. Its because sometimes I dont know how to speak about my mind and and simply is not knowledgeable enough compared to them and ended up sounding so stuping. Its not helping as my major is economics and many of the course related to analysis, teamwork and public speaking which i felt left off. I came from science major so to elaborate something is not what I’m used to. I’m sorry for my rant, I just felt so stress now. I want to take a break but I dont want to dissapoint my parents. So how should I deal with it and is it okay not to be smart as anyone else? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZikyungDerp 3,644 Posted September 20, 2018 Share Posted September 20, 2018 First off, yes it’s absolutely okay to be not as smart as someone else. But remember that when it comes to the real life, there isn’t just one type of being smart. You can be book smart, street smart, smart at human communications, smart at having an eye for details, etc. And they’re all equally useful. You do sound like a genuinely smart person tho, so don’t worry <3 Everything will be fine and after you’ve finished school you’ll find a place in the world where you’ll be able to utilize YOUR smarts to do good ^^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoneyPopCupcake 2,421 Posted September 20, 2018 Share Posted September 20, 2018 Like the user above me said there's different kinds of smart. Who knows, maybe you're more of a creative person or someone who learns by actually doing stuff. Anyway, don't worry because what you learn in school most of the times isn't that useful in jobs. I'm not saying you shouldn't put any effort into it, just stop being overly worried and comparing yourself to others, you'll take different paths in your lives anyway. I hope you feel better Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Auri 1,964 Posted September 20, 2018 Share Posted September 20, 2018 There are many different types of intelligence. You've probably heard of it already. There's logical-mathematical intelligence, musical intelligence, emotional intelligence and the list goes on. Everyone has at least some type of knowledge in one of these fields, even if they don't know it. What you're experiencing is something very common in the academic world. When you're in college, your "intelligence" is measured in many aspects -- social skills, tests, presentations. It's only natural that you're better in some areas than others. But that doesn't mean you're not smart or not as good as your classmates. Some people are born with logical intelligence and do really well on tests, but lack in interpersonal intelligence and may not be good and presentations and networking. Some people are luckier than others and have multiple types of intelligence, and that's really good for them, it does give them an advantage, but only to a certain point. What's most important in all of this, and one of the two things you have to remember is: you can learn anything you want. You're not good in interpersonal intelligence? Well, you can practice and develop it. Will it be easy? Probably not. And it won't be fast. But if you really want it, you can do it. Grab a book, talk to people you know are good at it, ask them about it, practice it in your room when you're alone or with friends, anything can help. The second thing you should do right now is stop comparing yourself to others. Now I'm extremely guilty of this. I'm in architectural school and while I have very high logical intelligence, I lack in creativity. And guess what, I always compare myself to creative classmates, who can draw and express their ideas coherently. It sucks. I know it. Every since person in the world has probably experienced this. But if you want to feel better, try to stop the cycle. Why does it matter if they're better? Why does it matter that they have better social skills? It won't make you any worse. It only affects your self esteem, so why bother? If you know you can be better, compare yourself to yourself. That's really the only thing that matters. And it doesn't have to be something radical. Start small. Compare yourself to the person you were last month or even yesterday. Is there something you learned today that can help you get better? Is there something you can improve? Is there something that you used to do in a better way then you do now? Simple things. Studying a few minutes more, getting one extra thing out of you're to do list. The simple act of not comparing yourself to someone else for a day, that's already an improvement. I know. It's a lot easier said than done. But if you can keep this in mind, if you repeat it to yourself and even to others, it's already a tiny step ahead. As I said, start small. We're all living life in a different rhythm. I read this yesterday: "Obama ended his political life at 55. Trump started it at 72." It's not completely true, but you know what it means. One was way faster than the other to achieve their goal, but they ended the run in pretty much the same spot. That's the same thing happening to you now. Your classmates may have an advantage, but if you work hard enough, it might take you a little while, but you'll end in the same position. I know this is long but I identify to you a lot. I know exactly what you mean and I struggle with this everyday. I hope maybe this gave you a little perspective and helped you feel better. Good luck on college. It's tough for everyone, trust me. We're all just dealing with it as we go. You're not alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pumba 167 Posted September 20, 2018 Share Posted September 20, 2018 Sometimes we put others on a step above us, when they are not, and that idealization makes us see ourselves as inferior. As a user wrote above, the key is to try not to compare your knowledge with your colleagues. The same thing happened to me, and, to be honest, in the end I understood that many of my classmates (and even teachers) were as or more lost than me.t's not that you think you are not intelligent, but that you think that you do not have the same intelligence as another person. So you can either:1. Discredit all the knowledge you have now in order to force yourself to match someone else's intelligence. I have to tell you, this is going to be difficult and in the end not very productive. 2. Embrace that there's some stuff you are better at, and others where you are going to struggle a bit. Personally, I found this a better answer. You know you're smart, now you only have to give your intelligence the importance it has. And then, work on those things that are harder, like, search for some speech classes or something like that to improve that aspect. Good luck with your studies! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinkpanda_spirit 14,647 Posted September 20, 2018 Share Posted September 20, 2018 wow are you me? I could relate to everything you said except the self-harm part and the fact that I'm studying math engineering. and same here, we have lots of group projects and if you are a textbook person (like me) you become lost very easily. I have to study 10x harder than my classmates to be at their level and this always makes me lose confidence. I even thought of giving up last year. and I didn't reply to some of my friends messages on messenger for like 2 weeks now because conversing with people even online makes me stressed and anxious. I thought I was the only one like this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beingpositivehere 97 Posted September 20, 2018 Author Share Posted September 20, 2018 wow thankyou very much guys! Your words are very encouraging and I wish you nothing but success! <3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beingpositivehere 97 Posted September 20, 2018 Author Share Posted September 20, 2018 First off, yes it’s absolutely okay to be not as smart as someone else. But remember that when it comes to the real life, there isn’t just one type of being smart. You can be book smart, street smart, smart at human communications, smart at having an eye for details, etc. And they’re all equally useful. You do sound like a genuinely smart person tho, so don’t worry <3 Everything will be fine and after you’ve finished school you’ll find a place in the world where you’ll be able to utilize YOUR smarts to do good ^^ Thankyou for your answer! You open new perspective for me and makes me more at ease. I forgot that intelligence comes in many shapes and I was cope with my small space too much to appreciate them. I wish you the best and have a good day :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beingpositivehere 97 Posted September 20, 2018 Author Share Posted September 20, 2018 Like the user above me said there's different kinds of smart. Who knows, maybe you're more of a creative person or someone who learns by actually doing stuff. Anyway, don't worry because what you learn in school most of the times isn't that useful in jobs. I'm not saying you shouldn't put any effort into it, just stop being overly worried and comparing yourself to others, you'll take different paths in your lives anyway. I hope you feel better Wow, actually you are right and I even forgot it, I used to be so keen on drawing and music but I discarded it since my depression. I think I will grab into them again. Thankyou so much for the enlightment, especially the useful part. I wish you success in life! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beingpositivehere 97 Posted September 20, 2018 Author Share Posted September 20, 2018 There are many different types of intelligence. You've probably heard of it already. There's logical-mathematical intelligence, musical intelligence, emotional intelligence and the list goes on. Everyone has at least some type of knowledge in one of these fields, even if they don't know it. What you're experiencing is something very common in the academic world. When you're in college, your "intelligence" is measured in many aspects -- social skills, tests, presentations. It's only natural that you're better in some areas than others. But that doesn't mean you're not smart or not as good as your classmates. Some people are born with logical intelligence and do really well on tests, but lack in interpersonal intelligence and may not be good and presentations and networking. Some people are luckier than others and have multiple types of intelligence, and that's really good for them, it does give them an advantage, but only to a certain point. What's most important in all of this, and one of the two things you have to remember is: you can learn anything you want. You're not good in interpersonal intelligence? Well, you can practice and develop it. Will it be easy? Probably not. And it won't be fast. But if you really want it, you can do it. Grab a book, talk to people you know are good at it, ask them about it, practice it in your room when you're alone or with friends, anything can help. The second thing you should do right now is stop comparing yourself to others. Now I'm extremely guilty of this. I'm in architectural school and while I have very high logical intelligence, I lack in creativity. And guess what, I always compare myself to creative classmates, who can draw and express their ideas coherently. It sucks. I know it. Every since person in the world has probably experienced this. But if you want to feel better, try to stop the cycle. Why does it matter if they're better? Why does it matter that they have better social skills? It won't make you any worse. It only affects your self esteem, so why bother? If you know you can be better, compare yourself to yourself. That's really the only thing that matters. And it doesn't have to be something radical. Start small. Compare yourself to the person you were last month or even yesterday. Is there something you learned today that can help you get better? Is there something you can improve? Is there something that you used to do in a better way then you do now? Simple things. Studying a few minutes more, getting one extra thing out of you're to do list. The simple act of not comparing yourself to someone else for a day, that's already an improvement. I know. It's a lot easier said than done. But if you can keep this in mind, if you repeat it to yourself and even to others, it's already a tiny step ahead. As I said, start small. We're all living life in a different rhythm. I read this yesterday: "Obama ended his political life at 55. Trump started it at 72." It's not completely true, but you know what it means. One was way faster than the other to achieve their goal, but they ended the run in pretty much the same spot. That's the same thing happening to you now. Your classmates may have an advantage, but if you work hard enough, it might take you a little while, but you'll end in the same position. I know this is long but I identify to you a lot. I know exactly what you mean and I struggle with this everyday. I hope maybe this gave you a little perspective and helped you feel better. Good luck on college. It's tough for everyone, trust me. We're all just dealing with it as we go. You're not alone. I really learnt alot in one writing. You sure are a talented writer and the one you write is very valuable and insightful to me. I will keep this in mind, maybe even keep the notes so I can read it repetitively and thankyou for your advices! Best of luck for you <3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beingpositivehere 97 Posted September 20, 2018 Author Share Posted September 20, 2018 wow are you me? I could relate to everything you said except the self-harm part and the fact that I'm studying math engineering. and same here, we have lots of group projects and if you are a textbook person (like me) you become lost very easily. I have to study 10x harder than my classmates to be at their level and this always makes me lose confidence. I even thought of giving up last year. and I didn't reply to some of my friends messages on messenger for like 2 weeks now because conversing with people even online makes me stressed and anxious. I thought I was the only one like this. thankyou for your valuable sharing, it means alot to me. I think you can read some answers above you 0to lighten your mood. I learnt alot in reading all these answers. Yeah, we shouldnt compared ourselves with others but try to improve ourselves step to step. Just take your pace int whats good for you. And I admired your hardwork alot! I will also try to learnt more like you! Wish you the best in life <3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beingpositivehere 97 Posted September 20, 2018 Author Share Posted September 20, 2018 Sometimes we put others on a step above us, when they are not, and that idealization makes us see ourselves as inferior. As a user wrote above, the key is to try not to compare your knowledge with your colleagues. The same thing happened to me, and, to be honest, in the end I understood that many of my classmates (and even teachers) were as or more lost than me. t's not that you think you are not intelligent, but that you think that you do not have the same intelligence as another person. So you can either: 1. Discredit all the knowledge you have now in order to force yourself to match someone else's intelligence. I have to tell you, this is going to be difficult and in the end not very productive. 2. Embrace that there's some stuff you are better at, and others where you are going to struggle a bit. Personally, I found this a better answer. You know you're smart, now you only have to give your intelligence the importance it has. And then, work on those things that are harder, like, search for some speech classes or something like that to improve that aspect. Good luck with your studies! Thankyou for your advice! <3 I will try to improve myself step by step as you said. Your experience makes me realise that’s its the process of learning so dont disregard our ownself. I feel at ease after reading it. Hope you have a nice day! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoneyPopCupcake 2,421 Posted September 20, 2018 Share Posted September 20, 2018 Wow, actually you are right and I even forgot it, I used to be so keen on drawing and music but I discarded it since my depression. I think I will grab into them again. Thankyou so much for the enlightment, especially the useful part. I wish you success in life! I'm so happy to help OP I wish the same for you and don't put yourself down, I'm sure your parents are already proud of you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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