advice how to combat intense feelings of depression, loneliness and disappointment in oneself pls...

[katsu curry chips]

that doesn't involve alcohol. 

 

although later on, alcohol will definitely come into play. 

 

grateful for anything, not inclined to share details on what's happened, so don't feel shy to relate to yourselves rather than *be there* for me lmao... 

[Im_Nayeon]

Have you tried CBT? 

[Delight00]

Shopping, eating, hang out with friends, etc

 

Just do the activities that usually makes you happy.

[orengi]

i learned how to play the guitar

the pain in my fingers distract me and the continous thought to improve my playing skills is always in my mind. it distracts me from my sadness and loneliness

idk if op has any access to any instruments but i wud suggest to learn a new skill just so u wudnt think too much abt ur current situation

hope everything works out well for u!

[katsu curry chips]

Have you tried CBT? 

oh i meant more like activities to feel better. luckily i don't suffer from chronic depression, just chronic bad luck. but thank you, and ia cbt is extremely helpful so i'd recommend that to anyone and everyone too! 

[Hormones]

asmr is working really well for me

[katsu curry chips]

Shopping, eating, hang out with friends, etc

 

Just do the activities that usually makes you happy.

making hyojung gifs kinda helped but i really should tell a friend what happened. 

 

i learned how to play the guitar

the pain in my fingers distract me and the continous thought to improve my playing skills is always in my mind. it distracts me from my sadness and loneliness

idk if op has any access to any instruments but i wud suggest to learn a new skill just so u wudnt think too much abt ur current situation

hope everything works out well for u!

this is excellent, i used to play two instruments but haven't for years! i should learn a new skill, like take up knitting or smt, something to make me feel accomplished and everyone knows small goals are a huge mood booster. thank you!

[pace]

You have to be forgiving to yourself. We tend to be our own harshest critics.

 

I think if you set up weekly goals for yourself on things you've wanted to do/learn, it helps. Sometimes the feeling of being a disappointment stems from thinking that we're not doing enough or that we're not good enough.

 

Say you've always wanted to work out but never had the energy to do so. Your weekly goal is to exercise at least an hour a week. It doesn't have to be big goal! Don't forget that. You can also pick up something that you've always wanted to learn like maybe you want to learn a new language. Your daily/weekly goal can be to review it for half an hour or whatever time span you want.

 

If you're feeling lonely, you gotta reach out to your friends and family. Make plans to hang out with them! Reach out to friends you maybe haven't been the best at catching up with.

 

With depression, your best bet is to seek counseling. If you're in college, there should be some kind of psychological care/service available in your school.

[pururin]

1. Let it all out in some way

- therapy

- talk to a friend

- write about it

 

2. distract from bad thoughts. 

- movies/tv shows 

- take a shower/bath

- cook something nice

- do your own hair or nails while listening to music

[Maeo]

any kind of physical activity usually helps a bit, even if only temporarily

like go on a longer walk, bike, gym etc (i prefer anything outdoor with fresh air but some people like gym stuff more)

[konmeister]

playing games

[_Lucy_]

I would like to know too, I've tried many things but nothing seems to work

[blond jenissi]

it depends on each person.. Sports, shopping, arts, spending time with friends etc. When I feel disappointed in myself I try to learn something, like basic stuff in a new language or how to make the recipes I have bookmarked for months (even though they all turn out like shit I still feel better that I tried) etc. When I feel lonely, I either go to a friends house, order in and watch a movie or go for a coffee and a walk w/ friends or even take a walk by myself in a busy area and look at shops and judge people for their outfits inside my head. When I feel worse than other days, it depends.. I either spend time with those closest to me or play a lot with our dog, I clean the whole apartment and then take a shower and put on a face mask or I just sit in bed and watch an entire season of a show  which is totally NOT what I'm doing today ha ha Whatever I feel at the time that I need more/will make me feel better after

[Saint Rose]

It terms of loneliness/anxiety, If you are in college- there’s might be a counseling group for you. At my campus we have groups for those suffering with anxiety and depression..etc that might be a good start to help with socializing and being more comfortable around people who will be less inclined to judge you. And you could make a friend on top of that.

 

Overall I think joining a club or something is beneficial.

[Chu chu~]

It really depends on each individual and what works best for them, so my suggestions might not even be of help; sorry in advance :( But I realised that most of the time when I'm feeling depressed and lonely, it was actually because of myself and the way that I was thinking and putting myself down and isolating myself from other people. When I do feel depressed, I take a quick 1-2 hour nap and when I wake up I just do my best to get on with my day, which helps a lot. Someone else mentioned CBT earlier, it's about how your thoughts and feelings and behaviour all coincide. I like to think the way that I deal with my depression is like that, I just try to change my thought patterns and and I carry out behaviours that would enforce it and would enventually change the way I'm feeling. But like I said, it does differ for each person so I hope you find something that works with you.

 

Besides that, listening to upbeat music, watching my favourite shows and movies and talking to friends does help a lot as well. Keeping yourself busy with writing a journal or drawing or just doing any other hobby might help too, just keep yourself occupied and engaged in life. I'd also recommend taking a walk in green spaces, it's beneficial for mental health. Sometimes it's the small things in life that you enjoy doing and enjoy seeing, that actually keep you going.

[tide]

this is my personal list of things i do (or try to do) when i feel sad/depressed/anxious

 

hobbies get involved with your hobbies! or pick old ones up again! i had always been discouraged from my hobbies when i was young bc they were seen as useless and self-indulgent, but when my mood behaviors got worse a few years back, my family noticed. taking time out to do what you love is something that's really undervalued in an achievement focused world. even if it's just for a few minutes a day, take some time out to play an instrument, write a song, or read a book. not only can it improve your mood, if you are achievement focused like me, the act of practicing will satisfy your needs of getting better.

 

self reflection whether it be a written diary, or just some time to recollect with yourself, i think spending time reflecting can really help get to the root of sadness, and sometimes that helps! im the type of person who can go from happy to storm-like in the matter of seconds over the smallest things, and it's really tiring. with self-reflection, i can be honest with myself and my feelings and work towards noticing triggers and monitoring how i react to them.

 

meditation a bit of a spin-off of the above point, but in such a fast-paced world, we often dont take time to just be with ourselves and out minds without pressure or judgement. even if it's just for 5 minutes, take some time out to just be. it will clear your mind.

 

do the opposite of what you want to do this is a big one for me because i know i am introverted and individualistic to a fault. this can lead to me becoming incredibly reclusive when i get into a mood^TM. and this can be pretty harmful. so im feel down and out and all i want to do is be myself and self-loathe, i do the opposite -- i ask a friend out to dinner usually. for me it's incredibly helpful because it takes me back to the real world.

 

talking with friends another spin-off of the above. like i said, im an introvert and an overall private person at that, so talking isn't really my forte, and neither is going out, but surprisingly, this helps me the most. keeping in contact with friends has definitely improved my mood and sense of self-worth because i know i have people that genuinely like me and genuinely worry about my being, even if all we do is go out for ice cream and discuss the latest celebrity gossip. plus it's always nice to have someone to offhandedly send memes to.

 

getting personal with people you trust now this one's tricky because sometimes it's really hard to determine who you trust. and sometimes that trust can get betrayed, which everyone's afraid of. but if you have that person, and you love that person and you know they love you, getting real with them can be an incredible feeling. and this doesn't even have to be over huge things, but small things too.

 

exercise fucking underrated bc all people think exercise is for is losing weight! getting your body moving can really help lift your mood, even if it's just a walk around the park. i personally exercise a lot, just because i have the attention span of a goldfish and exercise can help. plus, exercise can build confidence. i read a nice article recently about how women are going into strength training and how it's boosting their confidence.

 

just chillaxing sometimes you just need to chill out. watch an episode of that show you've been meaning to. call your grandma. take a nap. this world is so fast paced we feel like if we aren't doing something all the time every time, we're doing it wrong. but there needs to be time to chill out too.

 

cleaning your room/home/self also underrated! a clean outer space can really help clean your inner space. i tend towards clutter, so i notice my room looks like a hell zone when im at Worst. taking time to clean up really helps me feel like i can start over, no matter the time of day.

 

setting small goals just to help yourself not stagnate. even if it's just taking a shower and fixing your bed, acknowledging that you did something can be a mood booster.

 

talk with a professional a big one. personally i feel like i hypocrite for giving this advice because ive hated every therapist ive tried to keep contact with, but i don recognize their merits even if i havent found The One yet. ive gone to therapy for procrastination among all things, so i would say that if you can, make use of them. i think there's an online service now that offers therapist service for really cheap, discounted even when you have a code.

 

i don't drink, but if you feel like maybe you are beginning to rely on it, i would talk with a professional and all that stuff. i hope you feel better soon! there's also a counselor on OH staff (Rei-chama(?)) who probably has even more tips!

 

closing out with some of my favorite hyojung gifs!

 

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[B612]

I suffer from depression and lately I have been working out like every day and it helps me a lot

 

I never feel sad or anxious doing squats 

[borealis]

writing helps me. i write what i feel, what i want to say to some people, or things i want to happen to some people. i usually end up writing some quotes lmao