"he criticizes me a lot and today I couldn't find him. he started to say I was incompetent because I couldn't find the direction to his location; and I said nvm i'm not coming because you're being so rude right now. I didn't let go of my anger and said some mean things...and said I would break up with him. He ignored me and finally when he called back; I said "why can't you accept my flaws, if you loved me you'd try harder to change how critical you were of me" (I thought)..he made a sound and said " I guess we really can't be together. I thought he was laughing but then when I asked..he said he was crying. I feel so bad... I never heard him cry
Um, I'm trying to figure out why you allow him to disrespect you to the point that you blow up at him? If you continue to internalize his constant disrespect, you will keep blowing up at him, he will keep crying, you will keep feeling bad about his criticism or about making him cry....you might need to take that break because it doesn't sound like you two are attempting to resolve any of the toxicity.