[SERIOUS DISCUSSION] can those who are part of the lgbtq community but are not gay or lesbian reclaim the F slur or the D slur?

[BAE ANGEL]

This has been something that I've thought about for a while. I'm pansexual and do not use either words but I do know many people who are not gay (but are part of the lgbtq community) that reclaim the F slur and likewise for those who aren't lesbian reclaiming the D slur 

 

One argument I've heard is that the slur is still used at those who are in mlm and wlw relationships who aren't gay/lesbian so they have the right to reclaim it as well. But I've also heard that they shouldn't use it because the only reason why the slur is used at them in those situations is BECAUSE people assume they are gay/lesbian.

 

what do gays and lesbians on OH think of this? does it bother you or are you fine with others in the community reclaiming those words?

[Grape Soda]

D slur?

[BAE ANGEL]

D slur?

d*ke 

[Shinki]

I find the whole reclaming thing too much of a complex topic

[BAE ANGEL]

 

I find the whole reclaming thing too much of a complex topic

 

me too but at the same time I can understand why people in different communities choose to reclaim slurs used towards them

[deobizone]

i think its sort of ridiculous. that people wanna call themselves a slur that doesnt apply to them so much. now i dont know these peoples lifes so no offense to them tho. i am a lesbian and im okay with lesbians using the word, i even use it. but i went a long time not being okay with the word., and there are still lesbians who are uncomfortable with it. so yeah i dont think people it doesnt apply to, have a place reclaiming it. and its not just something ive been called on a street by some stranger, my own family has called me a d&ke. it runs deep... reclaiming is complicated bc it\s a person-to-person thing if theyre onto that, but just imo, if it doesnt apply to you, it's not ur place to reclaim.

[Shinki]

me too but at the same time I can understand why people in different communities choose to reclaim slurs used towards them

 

I have a opinion not many people agree with so I get sworn at even if I'm part of lgbtq+ community along on being a poc

 

I give up actually lmao

[mirurun]

hm this is a very complicated and interesting discussion to have, because sexuality is also complex. I'm bisexual so idk if I have any say on this topic, but I feel uncomfortable using the words and I feel I haven't really faced the same things someone who is gay has. Just my opinion I'd like to hear what people who are not gay in the LGBT community feel about this topic. 

[BAE ANGEL]

i think its sort of ridiculous. that people wanna call themselves a slur that doesnt apply to them so much. now i dont know these peoples lifes so no offense to them tho. i am a lesbian and im okay with lesbians using the word, i even use it. but i went a long time not being okay with the word., and there are still lesbians who are uncomfortable with it. so yeah i dont think people it doesnt apply to, have a place reclaiming it. and its not just something ive been called on a street by some stranger, my own family has called me a d&ke. it runs deep... reclaiming is complicated bc it\s a person-to-person thing if theyre onto that, but just imo, if it doesnt apply to you, it's not ur place to reclaim.

I wanna start off by saying I'm sorry that you had deal with that. 

The fact that there are so many lesbians who don't feel comfortable using it is the one of reasons why I don't use it. Like it just doesn't make sense to me but i'm starting to realize many people don't feel the same way. 

 

 

I have a opinion not many people agree with so I get sworn at even if I'm part of lgbtq+ community along on being a poc

 

I give up actually lmao

 

 

people can be......people  I get disagreeing with certain opinions but sometimes people tend to forget to respect others opinions. especially if its on a topic that PERTAINS to them like in your case 

[Esk@]

If it doesn't apply to you, don't reclaim it it's ridiculous.

[Ego ista]

I don’t think a word should be given so much power and people shouldn’t need any types of permissions to say it...

But

I respect people get offended by it though so while for example me and some gay friends use the word and they’re all fine with it, if another gay person told me “I’m not comfortable with that†or “please don’t say that†I respect them enough and have the decency to NOT use it with them

Just rule of thumb

Anyone can say it just don’t be an asshole about it if someone’s not ok with it

[BAE ANGEL]

hm this is a very complicated and interesting discussion to have, because sexuality is also complex. I'm bisexual so idk if I have any say on this topic, but I feel uncomfortable using the words and I feel I haven't really faced the same things someone who is gay has. Just my opinion I'd like to hear what people who are not gay in the LGBT community feel about this topic. 

yes this is exactly how I feel!! it's one of those things where I believe if someone who experiences these things says you shouldn't say it then don't? 

[tide]

people who use those slurs dont care if a guy is bisexual, pansexual, asexual, or not even a guy, but as long as they see someone they perceive to be a guy being involved with another person they assume to be a guy they call them a f*****. same with d***. anyone perceived as belonging in that category is likely going to be harassed by those words.

if reclaiming words is about reclaiming experiences, then even people who don't fit the exact definition of the word may have undergone the experience.

[BAE ANGEL]

 

people who use those slurs dont care if a guy is bisexual, pansexual, asexual, or not even a guy, but as long as they see someone they perceive to be a guy being involved with another person they assume to be a guy they call them a f*****. same with d***. anyone perceived as belonging in that category is likely going to be harassed by those words.

 

if reclaiming words is about reclaiming experiences, then even people who don't fit the exact definition of the word may have undergone the experience.

 

thats the exact argument that I mentioned in the OP (which I also heard for the first time today and made me realize this is a lot more complex than I initially thought) 

[No1]

If it doesn't apply to you, don't reclaim it it's ridiculous.

Agree. If it doesn't apply to you, then there's nothing to reclaim in the first place. Simple as that.

[#goddamnitkongwee]

There is alway new slurs and redefinition of slurs. I can't keep up nowadays.

[JisooBear]

Agree. If it doesn't apply to you, then there's nothing to reclaim in the first place. Simple as that.

This! It’s like people who aren’t black trying to reclaim the N word. It’s not acceptable.

[Hoshisus]

i'm a bi* female and i use both of those words (in comedic contexts with other queer people) and i think it's biphobic to try to say we don't have the right to reclaim those words

 

people don't give a fuck if you aren't exclusively gay when you're in a same sex relationship. they will hurl the same hatred at you as anyone else.

 

*i'm technically also pan but i dislike the word so

[BigFakeTan]

Huh? what? why?