arineunha 352 Posted August 23, 2018 Share Posted August 23, 2018 Does anyone else have this problem? My bf is a very straightforward person to the point of being insensitive towards how i feel when he says/does something( he doesnt really deal with emotions). For example, he was asking me to come over but he said it in a rude way. Like he said gtfo and come Like i hear of bfs that will go miles for their gf but if i ask for anything, he would complain about it. Isnt it natural for a person to do things out of love for the other person? This causes me to get angry because im sad/upset, and i will not be pushed around. I do love him but we fight alot because of this. Are we just not compatible? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
B612 22,399 Posted August 23, 2018 Share Posted August 23, 2018 I personally cannot deal with people like that... but it's up to you, are you happy despite all of that? if not, there are plenty other people you can date in the world Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pleasure 2,956 Posted August 23, 2018 Share Posted August 23, 2018 sounds toxic :/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delirium 4,237 Posted August 23, 2018 Share Posted August 23, 2018 Relationships are always give and take because each person developed within a different environment and had different experiences which contributed to who they are, how they act, what they believe, etc. Sometimes, your bf will have a lot to learn from you regarding a particular issue (like sensitivity) and other times, there may be issues where you have a lot to learn from him. Communication and adjusting are key. Once you've communicated your issue, he should be making efforts to adjust, (not neccessarily change who he is) and become more aware of how you feel. His concern about your well-being should make him alter his behavior. If he is constantly ignoring your perspective after you have already addressed the issue, that's another problem. You shouldn't have to tell him the same thing 1000000x . He can get with it or get moving. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ego ista 1,344 Posted August 23, 2018 Share Posted August 23, 2018 Tell him this maybe he doesn’t realize how it affects you but at the same time you need to get tougher skin compromise Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UMJI MOODS 11,518 Posted August 23, 2018 Share Posted August 23, 2018 Telling you to come over in that manner is rude to the point of verbal abuse. He seems to only be in the relationship for himself and not for the both of you. The question is can you see a genuine future with someone like this who shakes up these emotions in you all the time? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arineunha 352 Posted August 23, 2018 Author Share Posted August 23, 2018 Relationships are always give and take because each person developed within a different environment and had different experiences which contributed to who they are, how they act, what they believe, etc. Sometimes, your bf will have a lot to learn from you regarding a particular issue (like sensitivity) and other times, there may be issues where you have a lot to learn from him. Communication and adjusting are key. Once you've communicated your issue, he should be making efforts to adjust, (not neccessarily change who he is) and become more aware of how you feel. His concern about your well-being should make him alter his behavior. If he is constantly ignoring your perspective after you have already addressed the issue, that's another problem. You shouldn't have to tell him the same thing 1000000x . He can get with it or get moving. Thank you this really helped, i do believe we are lacking in communicating with each other..and we should compromise. This is a reoccuring issue..we never solve our problems, we just leave it be until the next argument. Sometimes with the things he says, i wonder if he has any concern for me at all Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slerian 46 Posted August 23, 2018 Share Posted August 23, 2018 If you tell your BF that something hurts you and he doesn't care and doesn't adjust at all, you might be heading down a dangerous/abusive path. Same if you have told him that an attitude hurts you several times and he has kept on doing the same thing over and over, even if he says he cares every time you communicate. Like Delirium said, relationships require a lot of communication, adjustment and compromise. They are something that takes effort to keep healthy and lasting. But if your partner can be ok with causing you pain? That's a bad sign. A very bad sign. Be careful and update us, please! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arineunha 352 Posted August 27, 2018 Author Share Posted August 27, 2018 If you tell your BF that something hurts you and he doesn't care and doesn't adjust at all, you might be heading down a dangerous/abusive path. Same if you have told him that an attitude hurts you several times and he has kept on doing the same thing over and over, even if he says he cares every time you communicate. Like Delirium said, relationships require a lot of communication, adjustment and compromise. They are something that takes effort to keep healthy and lasting. But if your partner can be ok with causing you pain? That's a bad sign. A very bad sign. Be careful and update us, please! I have tried to tell him how his attitude hurts me, but he brushed it off like how my words are somehow insignificant he doesn't care about my needs in a relationship or realize that my thoughts are different and thinks there's only one way to have a relationship (his idea of a relationship) im not okay with that, I broke up with him yesterday. even though he apologized it was too late Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slerian 46 Posted August 28, 2018 Share Posted August 28, 2018 Good! It sounds like a really toxic relationship. I hope in the future you find someone who deserves you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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