Is it selfish of me to think this way?

[TalkingCat]

Let’s say I made someone a gift and gave it to them but their reaction was not what I expected. Like they said they were touched and happy and thanked me for giving them the gift but I felt like my friends who saw the gift were a lot happier lol. This person doesn’t express their feelings often and they said it through messaging so maybe it’s different but I couldn’t help but feel a bit sad. I think I am too selfish

[The King]

This person doesn’t express their feelings often and they said it through messaging

There's your answer, don't take it personal.

 

It's normal to feel how you are feeling tho. When we see someone not externally expressing gratitude for something we made for them, it's normal to feel disappointed.

[Ego ista]

Not really no but I wouldn’t really hold it against them either

[in good taste]

no it's not. you're worried because you put in effort for the gift but their reaction was bland compared to what you had in mind. I don't think facial expressions are all there is to "reactions", if she expressed her gratitude through messaging, take it as it is. 

 

I think the problem here is that you were expecting a certain kind of reaction... when in the end we don't have control over others' feelings and reactions. 

[Repeat]

I'm absolutely terrible at expressing how much I like a present in a non-fake way, especially if it's a surprise. I know people often feel let down by my reaction. Please don't hold it against your friend.

[TalkingCat]

no it's not. you're worried because you put in effort for the gift but their reaction was bland compared to what you had in mind. I don't think facial expressions are all there is to "reactions", if she expressed her gratitude through messaging, take it as it is.

 

I think the problem here is that you were expecting a certain kind of reaction... when in the end we don't have control over others' feelings and reactions.

Yeah I think I shouldn’t have expected anything. Well actually I made a letter for my boyfriend written in his native language. I expressed my feelings a lot too him so I just thought maybe he would be a bit happier lol so I feel a little sad and disappointed

[B612]

I don't feel comfortable when people give me gifts and it truly shows idk if your friend us like that but I always struggle to give a decent reaction

[in good taste]

Yeah I think I shouldn’t have expected anything. Well actually I made a letter for my boyfriend written in his native language. I expressed my feelings a lot too him so I just thought maybe he would be a bit happier lol so I feel a little sad and disappointed

 

Aw, what a lucky guy. You're not selfish at all, I'd react the same way. 

[Jurin � Onew]

I don't feel comfortable when people give me gifts and it truly shows idk if your friend us like that but I always struggle to give a decent reaction

[seaweedsoup]

It's not selfish to hope for a rewarding result when you put time and effort into making someone else happy. You're being quite respectful and considerate that they're wired a bit differently too, it's not like you're flipping tables over how taken for granted you feel.

 

I would say that the best relationships are built on clear and strong communication. It doesn't mean you even have to come to a conclusion or a solution, but sharing your inner workings with the people closest to you is the only way to live without misunderstandings, sadness and drama.

 

I'm exactly like that too, I feel really uncomfortable with gifts and either go overboard with a really fake reaction or seem like idgaf. I tend to show my love for others in less physical practical ways than you and I worry that it comes off as too passive or distant.