tamarind 1,746 Posted August 9, 2018 Share Posted August 9, 2018 we have not met for the last five years since he lived in china and even before that i only saw him on really big family occasions. but i remember him clearly as a preteen. now he's moved to germany to get his master's degree and we've met a few times since and long story short we've been texting and chatting a lot and i'm attracted to him and he has expressed that he's attracted to me too. i do not want a marriage yet (i haven't even graduated college lol) but i put it there just in case it gets to the point where it is brought up since he's at the standard age for chinese and asian in general to get married. but he's my second cousin. while it's okay to marry second cousins in my culture i'm still pretty worried about the what my western friends think (also idk if my white dad will approve) and, you know, if they ever find out i'm dating my cousin. what if they bring up the deformed kids receipts *shudders* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
godblessdelulu 2,919 Posted August 9, 2018 Share Posted August 9, 2018 I would bring up the deformed kids receipts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamarind 1,746 Posted August 9, 2018 Author Share Posted August 9, 2018 I would bring up the deformed kids receipts that's cruel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grape Soda 12,004 Posted August 9, 2018 Share Posted August 9, 2018 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamarind 1,746 Posted August 9, 2018 Author Share Posted August 9, 2018 is that urs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janet FashionNova 203 Posted August 9, 2018 Share Posted August 9, 2018 Tbh I would keep that to myself from your western friends because more than likely they will be weirded tf out and probably see you differently lol I don't think you can have deform kids if you are second cousins. The risk is usually with closer family members like siblings or parents. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nsfw 5,496 Posted August 9, 2018 Share Posted August 9, 2018 that's nasty bro Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReFlash 107 Posted August 9, 2018 Share Posted August 9, 2018 I would bring up the deformed kids receipts Regular people having kids with disability is around 2-3% and second cousins having children with disability is 3.5%, not much of a difference. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeanneD'Arc 295 Posted August 9, 2018 Share Posted August 9, 2018 Erm.......what is second cousin? The person who is the child of your parents' cousin? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kpop_Unnie 1,126 Posted August 9, 2018 Share Posted August 9, 2018 I've had a crush on my cousin as well,,,,,,but not to get married to him. We live in the west so that is taboo. I have a cousin who unknowingly got married to her cousin (like 2nd or 3rd..IDK) though. They have children and they came out fine. They're still together to this day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janet FashionNova 203 Posted August 9, 2018 Share Posted August 9, 2018 Erm.......what is second cousin? The person who is the child of your parents' cousin? yep Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kpop_Unnie 1,126 Posted August 9, 2018 Share Posted August 9, 2018 Erm.......what is second cousin? The person who is the child of your parents' cousin? your parents cousin is your 2nd cousin. Like my Mother aunts child will be my 2nd cousin, his child will be my 3rd cousin and so on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamarind 1,746 Posted August 9, 2018 Author Share Posted August 9, 2018 Tbh I would keep that to myself from your western friends because more than likely they will be weirded tf out and probably see you differently lol I don't think you can have deform kids if you are second cousins. The risk is usually with closer family members like siblings or parents. yeah i think so too. even my close friends don't know i'm in a semi-open relationship. people here are already weirded out lol ​is that so? i've heard my asian family members say that and i've seen the case and the kids are alright but when it comes to myself i'm still pretty unconvinced Regular people having kids with disability is around 2-3% and second cousins having children with disability is 3.5%, not much of a difference. can you give me a link? anything that back this up? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeanneD'Arc 295 Posted August 9, 2018 Share Posted August 9, 2018 your parents cousin is your 2nd cousin. Like my Mother aunts child will be my 2nd cousin, his child will be my 3rd cousin and so on. yep Owh. tq Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamarind 1,746 Posted August 9, 2018 Author Share Posted August 9, 2018 I've had a crush on my cousin as well,,,,,,but not to get married to him. We live in the west so that is taboo. I have a cousin who unknowingly got married to her cousin (like 2nd or 3rd..IDK) though. They have children and they came out fine. They're still together to this day. that's a relief Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kpop_Unnie 1,126 Posted August 9, 2018 Share Posted August 9, 2018 Erm.......what is second cousin? The person who is the child of your parents' cousin? No that is your 3rd cousin.....your Parent's cousin is your 2nd cousin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janet FashionNova 203 Posted August 9, 2018 Share Posted August 9, 2018 yeah i think so too. even my close friends don't know i'm in a semi-open relationship. people here are already weirded out lol ​is that so? i've heard my asian family members say that and i've seen the case and the kids are alright but when it comes to myself i'm still pretty unconvinced can you give me a link? anything that back this up? Yup I remember watching Dr. Phil with a FIRST cousin couple and he said the risks are low. You can just Google the percentages and do some research if you are not convinced. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adelightfulsong 1,656 Posted August 9, 2018 Share Posted August 9, 2018 I feel like some of my second cousins and even cousins feel this way about me. They're always ogling at me. I'm not even that hot. I think if he's your older cousin's kid it's OK but if he's your parent's cousin, it's kind of weird. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janet FashionNova 203 Posted August 9, 2018 Share Posted August 9, 2018 your parents cousin is your 2nd cousin. Like my Mother aunts child will be my 2nd cousin, his child will be my 3rd cousin and so on. Are you sure because google said 2nd cousin is a child of one's parent's first cousin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamarind 1,746 Posted August 9, 2018 Author Share Posted August 9, 2018 No that is your 3rd cousin.....your Parent's cousin is your 2nd cousin. wait is that so? i thought second cousin is my parents' cousins' kid Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamarind 1,746 Posted August 9, 2018 Author Share Posted August 9, 2018 Yup I remember watching Dr. Phil with a FIRST cousin couple and he said the risks are low. You can just Google the percentages and do some research if you are not convinced. thank you! I feel like some of my second cousins and even cousins feel this way about me. They're always ogling at me. I'm not even that hot. I think if he's your older cousin's kid it's OK but if he's your parent's cousin, it's kind of weird. he's my parent's cousins kid Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kpop_Unnie 1,126 Posted August 9, 2018 Share Posted August 9, 2018 Are you sure because google said 2nd cousin is a child of one's parent's first cousin. Your First cousin is your parents sibling child...i.e your aunt's chlid - 1 generation away 2nd cousin can be your cousin's child or your parent's cousin - 2 generation away 3rd is your cousin's child child or your parent's cousin;s child - 3 generatin away is goes with the generations this is how it works.........this is what we learned in school Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adelightfulsong 1,656 Posted August 9, 2018 Share Posted August 9, 2018 thank you! he's my parent's cousins kid He's your third cousin. It's fine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamarind 1,746 Posted August 9, 2018 Author Share Posted August 9, 2018 Your First cousin is your parents sibling child...i.e your aunt's chlid - 1 generation away 2nd cousin can be your cousin's child or your parent's cousin - 2 generation away 3rd is your cousin's child child or your parent's cousin;s child - 3 generatin away is goes with the generations this is how it works.........this is what we learned in school He's your third cousin. It's fine. wait i'm having a major confusion rn. let me make a thread to address this Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Repeat 1,397 Posted August 9, 2018 Share Posted August 9, 2018 Tbh so many people have probably married their 2nd/3rd cousins and were never even aware of it. Your situation is only different because you know, therefore if you're fine with it, it's fine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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