TalkingCat 435 Posted June 25, 2018 Share Posted June 25, 2018 Actually I went through a lot of painful and humiliating moments in my life. From getting bullied at school to the point I tried to kill my self to getting used by people. Im general, I grew up without a lot of friends so I was desperate for companionship and I was really lonely with low self esteem. Someone like me is easy to take advantage of. And many people did. In my second year of university, I entered a relationship with a man who made me feel beautiful for the first time in my life. People around me said I was ugly, worthless, trash but this guy made me feel good. He was 7 years older than me...and very good at knowing how to manipulate and use someone. He took my low self esteem, made sure to isolate me from my family and the one or two friends I had, and would physically, emotionally, and sexually abused me. I felt like I was dirty; this man destroyed my mind and stole my precious body. I hate my body but it’s still mine. What right does he have to take that away from me? A year later, I managed to make an amazing group of friends. I met my first best friend in my third year of university. Almost every day we would talk and I opened up a lot about myself to her. I thought she was the type of person I would grow old with and I loved her like she was my family. When she was going through a break up, I dropped everything to help her even when my health was bad. My studies started to get affected as well. When my depression hit the lowest point and I tried to kill my self, my friend told me she couldn’t handle my problems anymore and cut off all contacts with me. My other friends also became scared and started to distant themselves. Once again, I became alone I started using online apps as a way to deal with my loneliness and through a language exchange app, I got to know many people. There were some people who confessed to me without even knowing my face because they liked my personality; but when I got the courage to send my picture to them, they blocked me. It was so humiliating to the point I started wearing masks outside because I was scared people would stare at my face. I made another mistake of falling in love with someone through the app even though I already got hurt before. But I thought he was so kind. He would always listen to my problems, comfort me, told me I was amazing, and he would never block or hurt me because of my appearance. We talked for 3 months and he told me he was coming to my state to go to school there. Every day I helped him with his English and prepared him to stay there. I researched his school for him and found him a place to stay. He was thankful and told me he loved me a lot. Eventually he started pressuring me for my picture so I sent it to him. But his attitude started to change. He didn’t contact me for a week even though I was waiting for me. He gave me the excuse of studying for his visa interview but I found out that he had been flirting with someone else through Instagram. They are in a new relationship. At that time my friend had passed away so I wanted to get some comfort from him; but at that time he was like, sorry I have my own problems. I can’t help you, I don’t want to help you. Deal with it by yourself. I was really shocked and my heart was broken. It was the most painful for me because I trusted him with everything. I believed he would be different. I was in a lot of bad relationships before him so I was starting to learn how to love again. So this betrayal shattered everything. In a way it’s a good thing cause I think my heart got colder and I don’t trust anyone anymore. But I want to say something. This story isn’t to make you depressed or feel sorry. Don’t try to live up to another’s person standard of beauty. It feels so miserable. And dont destroy your happiness for the sake of others. It’s okay to be selfish sometimes. And I learned a lot from this experience. It makes me want to treat people even better. I don’t want anyone else to get hurt like me so it makes me want to become a better person. It’s so easy to say whatever we want online, but behind the screen there’s a person. Someone’s daughter/son/etc. it’s so easy to criticize and be cruel to others but as cheesy as it may sound please treat others the way you want to be treated. Especially when we look at how people talk about celebrities (I’m guilty of this as well). We forget that they are also humans and so we are able to say a lot of cruel and inhumane things. Kindness is a virtue that not everyone might have but we can improve little by little Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinkpanda_spirit 14,647 Posted June 25, 2018 Share Posted June 25, 2018 OP I think you're too nice TT (I'm just like you so I could relate to your story) please think about yourself more and be SELFISH. don't let these people use you, they don't deserve you. I hope you can find friends who will love you for who you are and who won't cut contacts with you when you're sharing your problems with them. It might take some time but I'm sure you will find them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
M O L A 1,082 Posted June 25, 2018 Share Posted June 25, 2018 trust no one... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hormones 1,612 Posted June 25, 2018 Share Posted June 25, 2018 Can I be your friend ? I hate what they did to you motherfuckers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OutroTear 1,189 Posted June 25, 2018 Share Posted June 25, 2018 OP, I'm sorry that happened to you :( You are incredibly strong. You'll find people that are full of kindness and acceptance ~(^-^)~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pleasure 2,956 Posted June 25, 2018 Share Posted June 25, 2018 Op you are so strong. thank you for sharing your story, you are amazing. I'm glad that you are starting to see your worth and realize that some people just aren't who we think they are. I think you should definitely be more selfish. Don't feel bad about it either, but always keep your kindness and only show it to those who treat you with the same respect. I can relate to that in a way because I'm someone who has definitely been too nice in the past and it's disgusting how some will take advantage of that. If you ever feel alone and want to talk or would like a friend, my PM is open. You are not alone, and I'm proud of how far you have come. I know it's hard but the fact that you are here right now shows your amazing journey, and I hope it motivates you to keep going. Don't give up, there are still some good people out there you can meet online, although it may be rare. It’s so easy to say whatever we want online, but behind the screen there’s a person. Someone’s daughter/son/etc. it’s so easy to criticize and be cruel to others but as cheesy as it may sound please treat others the way you want to be treated. This is so true :o I wish more people would understand this and realize the things they say can affect others in ways they don't even care to think about.... you never know what someone is going through. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cake mf 1,737 Posted June 25, 2018 Share Posted June 25, 2018 Can I be your friend ? I hate what they did to you motherfuckers +2 I mean I get “I have my own problems, I can’t help you†when they’re botching about their girlfriend or smth but someobody dying? Really hoe? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoaYo 330 Posted June 26, 2018 Share Posted June 26, 2018 I'm so sorry that you had to go through something horrible like this. It's so hardbreaking to hear that you've been alone all this time and when you allowed yourself to open up, people once again close you back down. How cruel is this world. I really hope you find happiness and trust again. You're an amazing person. Thank you so much for sharing your story. You've worked hard Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shrekie 71 Posted July 8, 2018 Share Posted July 8, 2018 quality>quantity Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jurin � Onew 207 Posted September 2, 2018 Share Posted September 2, 2018 I feel so sorry for what you have gone through but its good that you still feel optimistic and never let them bring you down Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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