I feel so weak and alone.

[KaniPi]

I just want to let it out.

 

I don't have any close friends or any extended family. I am alone. Truly alone. Nobody really cares about me.

 

I get told I look "innocent" but how can I be. I just laugh it off. All my innocence has been sucked out of me.

I have nothing. People expect me to be a certain way, and fucking hate that so much.

 

I've been dealing with serious depression for almost a year now, and I can't get over losing people.

 

All I do now is just look at their pictures, wishing things were different.

 

I feel like a fucking zoo animal.

 

In my experience, I am disrespected by men. I don't dress in a revealing way, or go out of my way to entertain men, but I always seem to attract creeps/perverts.

 

They don't just shout at me, I have been touched a few times and even followed.

 

Even at work, I was walking past a set of desks, and this guy put out his arm to stop me from walking ahead.

 

I don't look special to stress out. Honestly, there are much much better looking women out there wearing fashionable clothes, nice hair etc. I know its because I look depressed. I am an easy target.

 

My father passed away last year, and he was the only person that understood and protected me. Now I feel extremely alone. I tell my mother and she just says "What can you do? you're a woman on her own. You'll just make enemies if you react. All men are like this."

 

This breaks me up so much. I know I have serious trust issues. I don't want men near me at all. I'm scared of them. Fucking terrified because I know what they're thinking. They just want to hurt me.

 

It wasn't always like this. I did fall in love with someone for the first time. I thought he was different, but we couldn't be together. I know its because I wasn't good enough. Its always the case. Someone "likes me" but not enough to involve any type of feelings. I don't deserve to be loved that's why. 

 

I'm taking medication but it doesn't change the situation. Its just a temporary fix. I'm trying hard at work, but I am not getting the job I want. Nothing seems to be working out the way I wanted it to. 

 

Tired of crying everyday, I just want it all to end.

[UMJI MOODS]

First stop this negative thinking. You are a person worthy of love, friendship and all the best things in life. I think that you likely need more help then medication alone can provide. Speaking to a doctor, therapist or support group could be of help to you. Mostly know that like all of us you are a unique special person. If you can't go to someone, at least call a local help line. They can do more than anyone here to aid you.

[ZikyungDerp]

Oh honey <3 I'm so sorry to hear that

 

Do you think there's anything you could do to find people to connect with? Switch jobs, join some community in your area, anything you're comfortable with?

[KAI PARKER]

I am dealing with the same thing , but my anxiety is getting worst and worst that I get panic attacks out of nowhere . I also think that men are trash , just witnessing how my parents treat each other and other men in my family treat their wifes or the people that they are supposed to love , now think abt the weak women that might be working with them on a daily basis ...

or even just the students and classemates talk and objectification of their female friends .

 

I also think alot abt ending everything , I honestly can't picture myself reaching 30

 

but I don't want to give up ? I want to get the chance to work in better places be independent and travel , even if I m alone and have no friends , I feel like I own myself that experience .

 

So please know that u re not alone in this , and it is so fucking hard , but please just don't give up ? don't let circumstances win . Yess it s easy to give advice and expect result , but I know that what u re dealing with is not EASY .

 

I just want to give u a warm hug and tell u that u re not the only one , so pls be patient and look for better oportunities , u ll find something to be happy abt . I m working hard and its the only thing keeping me alive too so please take care of yourself .

[�EO]

I’m so sorry that you're going through this OP I am here to talk I’ll make more posts to open my pm options please have faith and don’t lose hope I know these May sounds like empty words but they are real,I went through some hard times too it may not be like yours but it was unbearable to the point were I felt the same way you do please have faith you have to believe that things can get better and pain can go away if you believe in it love yourself I swear it’s not hard Everyone is deserved to be loved and you’ll find someone that will love you eventually I know this sounds cliche but it’s true.

[Jcey]

You will get through this!! You have been a strong person. Although your experiences seem to have pushed you down, you got through them. You are still standing here. You are strong. I hope you would use you strength not just to bear things but also to protect yourself. Find courage to shout at someone who is being inappropriate to you. Be direct and firm. Don't hold it in. It is the hardest thing to do but don't give a damn about other people's thought about you. Even if you do care, push that feeling down and just do you anyway. 

As for relationship, maybe wait on it for a while. Its normal to date and break up. Don't beat yourself down for your previous breakup. I don't want you to be in a relationship when you feel like you are not deserving of love? because that way you might just might end up going for the wrong guys. Every decent person is worthy of love. You slowly need to grow your feelings towards yourself. Increase your sense of self worth and self respect internally first. That way you might feel good and confident about yourself when you finally end up in a relationship. 

As for not having close friends and family...sometimes that can happen as you grow older especially. You can try to strengthen your relationship with people who already are sort of in your life. Ask them to hang out more often or you can try meeting new people.

A bit more positive thinking might also help a bit..idk. Like maybe being thankful for having a roof over your head, a job that pays...i know that sounds silly but it helps me. Sometimes if I feel like I am in a bad situation, I just look around and think about plus points that I have in my life. Although it may be harder to that with depression. 

Lastly we only have one life and it is of short span. There are still so many things left to do, see and experience in this world. I hope you will get through this and enjoy other aspects of life that you have yet to experience. 

[ChungJoJo]

I know how you feel, I know what its like to try and go out and fix it, expecting it to work out, and it doesn't. It makes you feel like the world is putting you back a step when you are desperately trying to get yourself a better life, because it happened to me, I saw people around me go through life and got to where they wanted, you see the world move but you feel stuck in time, unable to do anything, no matter how hard you try, the world pushes and shoves you into a corner and you feel like you can't do anything about it, even when you try, and when your parents simply tell you to shove it off as if its a small issue I get it. However I can't help you, in fact NO ONE CAN HELP YOU BUT YOURSELF. Because you have to take the initiative and go out and fix it hanging in there won't cut it, go out and do things to improve your situation, no matter how much your self-conscious tells you not to, and making up excuses not to better yourself. Its mentally draining, and something that takes time to work on, but you just need to do it, and be persistent with it. The world isn't going to magically have someone to give you free hand outs and magically make your problems disappear, you'll just grow more and more insecure. Sounds harsh, I hate it too but with time you'll understand, and you'll be able to deal with it better.

[cake mf]

I know how you feel, I know what its like to try and go out and fix it, expecting it to work out, and it doesn't. It makes you feel like the world is putting you back a step when you are desperately trying to get yourself a better life, because it happened to me, I saw people around me go through life and got to where they wanted, you see the world move but you feel stuck in time, unable to do anything, no matter how hard you try, the world pushes and shoves you into a corner and you feel like you can't do anything about it, even when you try, and when your parents simple tell you to shove it off as if its a small issue I get it. However I can't help you, in fact NO ONE CAN HELP YOU BUT YOURSELF. Because you have to take the initiative and go out and fix it hanging in there won't cut it, go out and do things to improve your situation, no matter how much your self-conscious tells you not to, and making up excuses not to better yourself. Its mentally draining, and something that takes time to work on, but you just need to do it, and be persistent with it. The world isn't going to magically have someone to give you free hand outs and magically make your problems disappear, you'll just grow more and more insecure. Sounds harsh, I hate it too but with time you'll understand, and you'll be able to deal with it better.

Glad to see someone speaking the truth.

 

I always say this and ppl call me an asshole, but I’m not going to waste my time giving shit advice. There’s help out there if you get it, but you have to put forth effort too. Good luck OP. I can see you really want to change your situation and admire that.

[Nev Schulman]

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