Amber is a llama 316 Posted May 27, 2018 Share Posted May 27, 2018 I need some help... Yesterday I had an argument with my roommate...She kept complaining about the other room making noises and asked if she should call the police or something because they were noisy...and it was like Saturday night...so I thought that it would be OK for them to have fun for once..and they became quiet after 12:30 am... First I tried to calm her down and say that it's okay an stuff and let them have their fun but she kept saying that no they are crazy and yeah.. So I told her that she also talks on the phone at like 1 am on weekdays while everyone's sleeping and stuff an I clearly hear her when she goes to the kitchen and talks.. But then she said that I do that too...I do but I stay quiet after 10 pm..so it's different... and then she complained that she doesn't like it when I do video calls in the room and stuff because we are both girls....but I don't show her in the video call or anything..and that wasn't my point to begin with..not to mention that I have changed my lifestyle because of her..I can't even lay with my outside cloth on the bed..because it's apparently dirty...I changed many things because of her but I can't change everything.. Now back to the main topic... I don't think that it's right for her to complain when she does the same..I mean ofc she isn't too loud or anything but it can be loud sometimes..and on weekdays.. But now she is mad at me..and I haven't seen her since morning because she went to the library..so i'm a bit scared to face her. What should I do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jawline 4,624 Posted May 27, 2018 Share Posted May 27, 2018 Tell her she needs to calm down Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hormones 1,612 Posted May 27, 2018 Share Posted May 27, 2018 You have to understand that people don't like to be criticized because their ego is too big. Not everyone, but some people are. You struck a nerve when you said she talks on the phone past midnight. She retaliated due to her ego being hit. You have these options. (1) Stay out of the room until night when it's time to sleep and pretend nothing happened the next day. (2) Apologize about what you said, (even if you didn't intend to hurt her) (3) Nothing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
denizen mars 5,911 Posted May 27, 2018 Share Posted May 27, 2018 if this is a dorm, I'd apply for a room change lol. or look for other apartments to rent. no one deserves to feel uncomfortable in their own home so you need a roommate that you can live peacefully with Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dbellvm 766 Posted May 27, 2018 Share Posted May 27, 2018 don't be scared to face her, she's not gonna rip your head off. and stop changing your habits because of her. staying quiet at night or not turning the light on in the room is simply decent behaviour, but not wearing outdoor clothes because of her is a bit too much edit: i've lived in dorms for 5 years, so trust me. i feel you. i've had many different roommies Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amber is a llama 316 Posted May 27, 2018 Author Share Posted May 27, 2018 Tell her she needs to calm down I always do..lol. You have to understand that people don't like to be criticized because their ego is too big. Not everyone, but some people are. You struck a nerve when you said she talks on the phone past midnight. She retaliated due to her ego being hit. You have these options. (1) Stay out of the room until night when it's time to sleep and pretend nothing happened the next day. (2) Apologize about what you said, (even if you didn't intend to hurt her) (3) Nothing. True...I do agree that I was a bit too harsh...but I didn't expect her to overreact like this...but she still needs to realize that it's not right to criticise other when you kind of do the same. I can't be the one saying okay to almost everything she says... I already changed my entire lifestyle because of her... She is not a bad person or anything she is actually kind but it's also stressful for me. 1)She is not here anyway..but that would be impossible knowing that I'm a student who has too much work to do and I wouldn't be able to work in the kitchen either. 2)That's what I'm intending to do..I just don't know how to face her now. but I will... 3)Yeah that's what I'm doing for now. if this is a dorm, I'd apply for a room change lol. or look for other apartments to rent. no one deserves to feel uncomfortable in their own home so you need a roommate that you can live peacefully with It's a flat..and finding a flat is harder than you think.... I'm trying to adapt..I just hope that she does the same. She is not a bad person or anything tho! But can be..a little..well..Idk...fussy..and complain a lot.. but she is really nice but just has her own problems... don't be scared to face her, she's not gonna rip your head off. and stop changing your habits because of her. staying quiet at night or not turning the light on in the room is simply decent behaviour, but not wearing outdoor clothes because of her is a bit too much edit: i've lived in dorms for 5 years, so trust me. i feel you. i've had many different roommies Pfft I know..I just feel bad for being a bit harsh that time... But yeah you are right..the habits are good for me..but sometimes they are a bit too much... and I always do... She is the one who doesn't sometimes..but that's because she studies really hard and I don't mind that as long as she is quiet which she is when I'm sleeping..(I sleep quite late.) but she doesn't do that when I'm tired... She is actually kind tho..just has her own problems like everyone else. But yeah you are right. I will try. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kyungsoo-sama 445 Posted May 27, 2018 Share Posted May 27, 2018 That's why when I almost had to rent in a dorm, i told my dad to just get me a room or rent a condo of my own because i want to live alone lol. I can't handle people. Conflicts are normal when you're living with someone since both of you have different lifestyles. Listen, it's better to talk and argue about it rather than avoiding the issue because the situation might turn worse later on. So talk about it. If you want to be the bigger person, you can apologize to her first then tell her to talk about it so future conflicts won't occur. Tell her to tell you what her concerns are as a roommate, and you'll tell yours so that you can address both properly. That's how you do it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amber is a llama 316 Posted May 27, 2018 Author Share Posted May 27, 2018 That's why when I almost had to rent in a dorm, i told my dad to just get me a room or rent a condo of my own because i want to live alone lol. I can't handle people. Conflicts are normal when you're living with someone since both of you have different lifestyles. Listen, it's better to talk and argue about it rather than avoiding the issue because the situation might turn worse later on. So talk about it. If you want to be the bigger person, you can apologize to her first then tell her to talk about it so future conflicts won't occur. Tell her to tell you what her concerns are as a roommate, and you'll tell yours so that you can address both properly. That's how you do it. I see... Well, I'm in a flat...A dorm would cost too much here. I agree..we will need to argue... But she always does..aside from the video thing...se never told me..but I also have a limit... But yeah that's a very good advice. Thanks..I will try to be more honest with her..and try not to feel bad about being honest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kyungsoo-sama 445 Posted May 27, 2018 Share Posted May 27, 2018 I see... Well, I'm in a flat...A dorm would cost too much here. I agree..we will need to argue... But she always does..aside from the video thing...se never told me..but I also have a limit... But yeah that's a very good advice. Thanks..I will try to be more honest with her..and try not to feel bad about being honest. based from experience, really talking about the problems honestly is the best solution. Sometimes it hurts me and her but in the end you'll appreciate each other's efforts for being honest. Good luck about that and i hope things will be resolved soon! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amber is a llama 316 Posted May 27, 2018 Author Share Posted May 27, 2018 based from experience, really talking about the problems honestly is the best solution. Sometimes it hurts me and her but in the end you'll appreciate each other's efforts for being honest. Good luck about that and i hope things will be resolved soon! I see..now that I think of it you are kind of right! Thank you for your help. I appreciate it~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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