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[RANT] Not sure why this is happening


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I'm not really sure what I'm looking for by typing this (probably just to rant tbh) but lately I have been having a hard time going to sleep due to a new fear of dying.

 

 

No one I know is dying or recently died and I didn't have any dreams about it, the fear just kinda...appeared so to say. One night I shut my eyes and then BAM. Wave of anxiety and panic that one day I will just wake up and be old and I will just die and cease to exist (I'm in my twenties so idk where this whole suddenly turning 80 feeling came from).

 

I'm not religious and I don't really believe in any sort of afterlife so that definitely plays a factor. So here I am ranting to you strangers on OH.

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I was in the hospital a couple years ago and that’s when I thought “oh shit, I have to die one dayâ€

 

I was super afraid of dying for a while after that.

 

But what’s the point in fearing the investable? If anything, death’s a good thing. Means your struggle will one day be over.

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I used to have similar thoughts when I was younger.

 

Now I'm at a point in my life where death just doesn't scare me anymore, mainly because I don't feel like I have much to live for. I just hope to accomplish a few of my goals before I pass so that my life doesn't feel completely meaningless.

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I was in the hospital a couple years ago and that’s when I thought “oh shit, I have to die one dayâ€

I was super afraid of dying for a while after that.

But what’s the point in fearing the investable? If anything, death’s a good thing. Means your struggle will one day be over.

  

I used to have similar thoughts when I was younger.

 

Now I'm at a point in my life where death just doesn't scare me anymore, mainly because I don't feel like I have much to live for. I just hope to accomplish a few of my goals before I pass so that my life doesn't feel completely meaningless.

 

It's also a fear of people I care about not existing. Death is inevitable for everyone and since I've been REALLY thinking about it lately it just makes me sad.

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I mean...that'd be great, I would like to believe there won't be a time where people I care about are gone completely (myself also) but it's hard for me to imagine.

You don’t believe in spirits?

 

Could one be trying to communicate with you?

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It's also a fear of people I care about not existing. Death is inevitable for everyone and since I've been REALLY thinking about it lately it just makes me sad.

 

Thankfully I've never had someone I love pass away, but I imagine that if it were to happen that I would at least retain the memories of that person with me forever. Live and love the people around you so that you can always have beautiful memories to look back on.

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You don’t believe in spirits?

Could one be trying to communicate with you?

When I was younger I lived near a cemetery so I did believe in spirits but not anymore.

 

 

 

I'm not sure about them trying to communicate with me, not even sure what they would be trying to say in all honesty

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I feel the same thing, I just try to bury those feelings

 

But honestly, the best thing that I've found is just to live life genuinely and experience as much as you can. That's all we can do and that's the best life has to offer - yeah we'll die, and we dont know when that'll be exactly, so just take today as it is and really live

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When I was younger I lived near a cemetery so I did believe in spirits but not anymore.

What made you stop? (Other than not living near a cemetery)

 

I'm not sure about them trying to communicate with me, not even sure what they would be trying to say in all honesty

Its a possibility worth considering, or it could be fear engraved on a subconscious level that it’s taking toll on you.

 

I’d like to think the former tbh

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Thankfully I've never had someone I love pass away, but I imagine that if it were to happen that I would at least retain the memories of that person with me forever. Live and love the people around you so that you can always have beautiful memories to look back on.

  

I feel the same thing, I just try to bury those feelings

 

But honestly, the best thing that I've found is just to live life genuinely and experience as much as you can. That's all we can do and that's the best life has to offer - yeah we'll die, and we dont know when that'll be exactly, so just take today as it is and really live

 

Thank you, I will try. It's not even a problem in the daytime only when I am trying to sleep but even just typing this and seeing everyone's replies has given me some comfort.

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its just a crisis we all have when we are young and it hit us, there are days when i think all night about it and i sometimes get panic attacks thinking im having a heart attack lmao but yeah

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What made you stop? (Other than not living near a cemetery)Its a possibility worth considering, or it could be fear engraved on a subconscious level that it’s taking toll on you.

I’d like to think the former tbh

I'm not sure. I wasn't even religious back then but I believed in ghosts. I had some weird stuff happen when I lived in that house that I attributed to a ghost but as I got older I just stopped believing in that kind of stuff.

 

 

I find it interesting that you believe it's the former. What do you think I should do, actually, what would you do if you were in my position?

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its just a crisis we all have when we are young and it hit us, there are days when i think all night about it and i sometimes get panic attacks thinking im having a heart attack lmao but yeah

 

It's just new to me but it sometimes does feel like a quarter ish life crisis

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I'm not sure. I wasn't even religious back then but I believed in ghosts. I had some weird stuff happen when I lived in that house that I attributed to a ghost but as I got older I just stopped believing in that kind of stuff.

I find it interesting that you believe it's the former. What do you think I should do, actually, what would you do if you were in my position?

I don’t believe it with a conviction, I’d simply like to think it is so because I don’t think we’re as alone as we think we are. Reason being because we have lessons in life to learn and sometimes we need a little help along the way. Maybe I’m overthinking it, or maybe you are gifted and just tapping in to it
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I don’t believe it with a conviction, I’d simply like to think it is so because I don’t think we’re as alone as we think we are. Reason being because we have lessons in life to learn and sometimes we need a little help along the way. Maybe I’m overthinking it, or maybe you are gifted and just tapping in to it

If I may ask, do you believe in any specific religion? I honestly liked hearing your input on this subject and now I'm just curious since we think so differently from each other. If there is a lesson in life I need to learn I hope it is a good one (though it possibly dealing with death has me slightly concerned)

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If I may ask, do you believe in any specific religion? I honestly liked hearing your input on this subject and now I'm just curious since we think so differently from each other. If there is a lesson in life I need to learn I hope it is a good one (though it possibly dealing with death has me slightly concerned)

Lessons cannot be bad for growth experience. They may be uncomfortable, maybe even unpleasant at the time, but it is all for growth. You have to experience the bad to appreciate the good.

 

As for religion, it’s complicated; I’m part of a Muslim family but don’t follow the religion by the book, so to speak. Spirits are a no-go area in the realms of Islam, but spiritual creatures such as angels and devils are not. The independent thinker in me can’t help but think there must be more in-between

 

What are your thoughts?

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Lessons cannot be bad for growth experience. They may be uncomfortable, maybe even unpleasant at the time, but it is all for growth. You have to experience the bad to appreciate the good.

As for religion, it’s complicated; I’m part of a Muslim family but don’t follow the religion by the book, so to speak. Spirits are a no-go area in the realms of Islam, but spiritual creatures such as angels and devils are not. The independent thinker in me can’t help but think there must be more in-between

What are your thoughts?

That's what I've heard before but I guess I meant that I hope it wasn't like foreshadowing something bad, like someone unexpectedly dying soon.

 

I don't believe in any religion, used to be agnostic and now I am an atheist, but I do think certain aspects of it are interesting, especially spirituality. I think there are many similarities between the bigger religions yet people have done so many terrible things to other people for believing in different things that it just turned me off and made me hate anything religious growing up. It's just difficult for me to believe that there is a god out there that is omnipotent yet let's all of these terrible things happen around the world. I've had people in church say it is due to the devil but then I would wonder what the angels were doing (could go on but trying to keep it short)

 

When I think about how big our universe is and how there is still so much out there I don't believe we are the only intelligent life but that is just me going off your "not as alone as we think" quote earlier (also could go on but eh)

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That's what I've heard before but I guess I meant that I hope it wasn't like foreshadowing something bad, like someone unexpectedly dying soon.

I hate to say it but it’s one of those things that have to pan out in order to make sense of. Try to not worry too much

 

I don't believe in any religion, used to be agnostic and now I am an atheist, but I do think certain aspects of it are interesting, especially spirituality. I think there are many similarities between the bigger religions yet people have done so many terrible things to other people for believing in different things that it just turned me off and made me hate anything religious growing up. It's just difficult for me to believe that there is a god out there that is omnipotent yet let's all of these terrible things happen around the world. I've had people in church say it is due to the devil but then I would wonder what the angels were doing (could go on but trying to keep it short)

I get you, but spirituality can exist outside of religion. Religions are doctrines that overlap one another yet compete against each another. The politics and brainwashing of it all can be terrifying. I don’t particularly believe in the devil. I think that’s a man made invention. I do however believe in corruption, and that is where one goes when they lose respect for life. What if we are the ones suffering? This is when I believe in past lives, reincarnations etc. It’s all fascinating to me tbh

 

When I think about how big our universe is and how there is still so much out there I don't believe we are the only intelligent life but that is just me going off your "not as alone as we think" quote earlier (also could go on but eh)

I agree, but I was just referring to our plane of existence; because I believe in angels, and am grateful for the experiences I have witnessed, I’d feel foolish to not consider that there are other possibilities here on Earth.

As for aliens on Earth, I’m not ready for that discussion....

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I hate to say it but it’s one of those things that have to pan out in order to make sense of. Try to not worry too much

 

I get you, but spirituality can exist outside of religion. Religions are doctrines that overlap one another yet compete against each another. The politics and brainwashing of it all can be terrifying. I don’t particularly believe in the devil. I think that’s a man made invention. I do however believe in corruption, and that is where one goes when they lose respect for life. What if we are the ones suffering? This is when I believe in past lives, reincarnations etc. It’s all fascinating to me tbh

 

I agree, but I was just referring to our plane of existence; because I believe in angels, and am grateful for the experiences I have witnessed, I’d feel foolish to not consider that there are other possibilities here on Earth.

As for aliens on Earth, I’m not ready for that discussion....

That is true it can exist without religion but even so, I'm not a spiritual person anymore. I guess the "evil" part of the world is what played a factor in me changing my beliefs. I do agree with you that it is all fascinating though and I do enjoy learning about these kinds of things because there are so many beliefs out there (monotheism, deism, etc.)

 

 

 

Lol maybe later we can discuss aliens but again, thank you for having this discussion with me.

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From my own experience i can say it the first step to a person's awakening. It happened to me when i was like seventeen. I was walking home from school with a friend of mine and she was talking about death and all that stuff. The idea that i might die someday hit me out of nowhere and i got so scared. When i got home, i just sat down and i cried in fear and panic. Like i had this feeling that this is the truth, we all are going to die, so what are you going to do about it?

 

I was brought up in a fairly religious environment so i turned to my religion to find the answer, to find the way to deal with this fear.

 

When you become aware about your own mortality, you start to question all the things. Religion can give a lot of assurance and answers but that's not the only way to find the answer. I found most of the answers in spirituality, in all the different religions and philosophies rather than just by following my own.

 

As you've said every religion has something good in it. But most people choose to focus on the doctrine of it instead of the spiritual aspects. By learning about the hidden and spiritual aspect if my religion i was able to understand the meaning behind the rituals and rules of it.

 

And I've also learned that you don't need to be religious to be spiritual. So you don't have to believe in any religion to find the answer as to why this fear and panic-that you've felt-came from. Search for it somewhere else, wherever your intuition leads you, that is if you want to understand why you felt this.

 

You can very well choose to ignore it and go on as if nothing has happened but i won't suggest you do it. Everything has a purpose and do does this. Maybe you are now ready on a spiritual level to seek answers about the big questions of life like, who am i? Why i am here? Why was i born? Why do i have to die? What's the purpose of this whole life experience?

 

If you have an urge to seek answers for these questions then this fear, this awakening to your mortality, is the signal that you need to start on this quest. It means that you are now ready to start your spiritual journey.

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^ Nicely said

 

That is true it can exist without religion but even so, I'm not a spiritual person anymore. I guess the "evil" part of the world is what played a factor in me changing my beliefs. I do agree with you that it is all fascinating though and I do enjoy learning about these kinds of things because there are so many beliefs out there (monotheism, deism, etc.)

 

Lol maybe later we can discuss aliens but again, thank you for having this discussion with me.

It has been a pleasure. Thank you for starting this thread.
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