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Do you feel regret after you lash out to someone?

anger management regret

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#1 -BG-

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Posted 15 April 2018 - 12:31 PM (Edited by AbsoluteRadish, 15 April 2018 - 12:38 PM.)

Because for me, it's always been like that. And it's getting kinda frustrating and I feel like I'm in a dilemma.

 

First of all, I don't just lash out at people, because I feel like most of the times, I should try to give them the benefit of the doubt when someone does something that I find puzzling or even perhaps offensive to me. Back in the day, I used to quickly jump into conclusions but in the end, it's me who looked stupid because of lashing out at someone for reasons that I only imagined, not the truth.

 

But then when that person keeps doing questionable things to me, to the point that I had to speak up, sometimes due to being emotional, I come off as reprimanding them, and lashing out.

 

Soon after, I would feel bad about it because I didn't mean to sound like attacking them verbally. I just wanted them to know that it's not okay for them to do that thing -- whatever that questionable thing is -- to me.

 

Yet again, on the other side, if I don't speak up and I decide to just bottle it up, it will become a ticking time bomb for me and I will feel like something is eating up inside me, and I'm afraid it will make me rotten from the inside to bottle up too much anger.

 

So, have you ever had this experience? How do you cope with it? Because I feel like I need advice about this.

 

Today, I decided to speak up about something to a certain people at my house, but then because of feeling angry, I sort of lashed out at them and then they became defensive. Shortly after, I feel regrets and it's just making me feel all mixed up.




#2 me you me now

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Posted 15 April 2018 - 12:32 PM (Edited by me you me now, 15 April 2018 - 01:29 PM.)

everytime

 

*edit

Spoiler




#3 Grape Soda

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Posted 15 April 2018 - 12:32 PM

Only if I cared about the person. other than that, nah


#4 Pleasure

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Posted 15 April 2018 - 12:33 PM

if it's someone i care about, yes. i have to fix it. i know how you feel op




#5 jooheon

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Posted 15 April 2018 - 12:34 PM

sometimes




#6 lovebaek

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Posted 15 April 2018 - 12:37 PM

Most of the times yeah, specially with my parents. I've been trying to control it but it's kind of hard, I'm hot tempered and when I get mad I can't really control myself, and I hate that. 




#7 buraian

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Posted 15 April 2018 - 12:38 PM

I'm usually calm and don't lash out unless I'm really pissed off. if I'm annoyed I'll probably take it out on my family, especially my brothers but they do the same to me so whatever.

 

I remember one day, I had a shit driving lesson and my friend rang me soon after it finished. he owned me money then so I literally took it out on him and we didn't speak for a little while after that. I felt so dumb and regretful so I try not to jump the gun anymore. and I cba for conflicts these days so I avoid it unless it's needed.




#8 UMJI MOODS

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Posted 15 April 2018 - 12:39 PM

I am so not an angry person . Not one to lash out. Might frown at you if provoked.


#9 TimeToShine

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Posted 15 April 2018 - 12:43 PM

Only if I cared about the person. other than that, nah




#10 lovesojung

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Posted 15 April 2018 - 12:44 PM

i don't lash out too often, but when i do i usually feel bad within a few hours




#11 -BG-

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Posted 15 April 2018 - 12:45 PM

I'm usually calm and don't lash out unless I'm really pissed off. if I'm annoyed I'll probably take it out on my family, especially my brothers but they do the same to me so whatever.

 

I remember one day, I had a shit driving lesson and my friend rang me soon after it finished. he owned me money then so I literally took it out on him and we didn't speak for a little while after that. I felt so dumb and regretful so I try not to jump the gun anymore. and I cba for conflicts these days so I avoid it unless it's needed.

 

I see, but my case is not really about taking it out to someone else, especially those who didn't deserve it. The people that I lashed out to, they legit made me pissed off, so I felt like I had the right to tell them about my feelings, but my intention was to let them know that it's not okay to do that. However, due to my angry tone, they became defensive, and that's when I realize that I just lashed out to them, and it's not really my intention.

 

I felt really bad soon after. I guess I can't be angry without feeling remorse, and it's killing me because I hate this feeling.

 

I even wonder if I need to seek psychiatrist's help because despite my efforts to manage my anger, when I decided that I couldn't take it anymore, it exploded.




#12 Jawline

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Posted 15 April 2018 - 01:00 PM

Thankfully I rarely lash out, and when I do it I always regret... especially when I hurt the person or make myself look stupid




#13 Ian.

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Posted 15 April 2018 - 01:01 PM

Always :(


#14 Fèmmé Fætalē

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Posted 15 April 2018 - 01:04 PM

I see, but my case is not really about taking it out to someone else, especially those who didn't deserve it. The people that I lashed out to, they legit made me pissed off, so I felt like I had the right to tell them about my feelings, but my intention was to let them know that it's not okay to do that. However, due to my angry tone, they became defensive, and that's when I realize that I just lashed out to them, and it's not really my intention.
 
I felt really bad soon after. I guess I can't be angry without feeling remorse, and it's killing me because I hate this feeling.
 
I even wonder if I need to seek psychiatrist's help because despite my efforts to manage my anger, when I decided that I couldn't take it anymore, it exploded.


I don't think you need to seek medical help. Base on your story. What happens is they view your anger differently than what you intended to. You just need to talk it out since yall live in the same house.

And for your personal problem. Its better if you just let yourself be free or loosen up. What you did is a response to the things they've done so if you lash out at them then they're the one on the wrong not you. You don't need to feel all bad just because you shout to them. Its always better to release anger or any negative feeling than to keep them. Well now if you still feel bad you could just explain yourself to them and let them know why you all act like that. You don't need to seek for medical help because for me what you did is all normal so Cheer Up! Wheein is coming back you must not be sad.


#15 neotified

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Posted 15 April 2018 - 01:10 PM

not really




#16 la luna

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Posted 15 April 2018 - 01:26 PM

Yes


#17 ShineeVIP

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Posted 15 April 2018 - 02:08 PM

Most of the times yeah, specially with my parents. I've been trying to control it but it's kind of hard, I'm hot tempered and when I get mad I can't really control myself, and I hate that.




#18 buraian

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Posted 15 April 2018 - 02:35 PM

I see, but my case is not really about taking it out to someone else, especially those who didn't deserve it. The people that I lashed out to, they legit made me pissed off, so I felt like I had the right to tell them about my feelings, but my intention was to let them know that it's not okay to do that. However, due to my angry tone, they became defensive, and that's when I realize that I just lashed out to them, and it's not really my intention.

 

I felt really bad soon after. I guess I can't be angry without feeling remorse, and it's killing me because I hate this feeling.

 

I even wonder if I need to seek psychiatrist's help because despite my efforts to manage my anger, when I decided that I couldn't take it anymore, it exploded.

oh I see. yeah I think maybe if you can't control your anger when you're arguing, seeking help for anger management might help you sort this issue. it's easier said than done but yeah controlling your tone would be beneficial; it's better to be passive-aggressive than full on aggressive imo. at least you're lashing out for legitimate reasons, instead of taking it out on innocent ppl like I do lol. 

 

I hope you manage to fix your problem soon, OP




#19 Annfi

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Posted 15 April 2018 - 02:41 PM

I always regret when I lose my temper. Even when I think that person "deserves it." I'm pretty laid back but sometimes I do get really angry and I start to raise my voice without noticing it at the moment.
Every time I lose my cool, I feel guilty and I almost always end up apologizing.
I kind of hate it tho because sometimes, people are complaining about legitimate reasons and if they lose they temper suddenly no one takes them seriously, and when you are in an oppressed/disadvantageous position it gets really hard to control your feelings.



#20 i'm not your anti

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Posted 15 April 2018 - 02:46 PM

Yes, all the time. I'll regret it and think I'm a terrible person, I really dislike loosing my temper or getting angry at anyone, even if it was deserved.







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