Missing someone badly, does that mean I really love him.

[KaniPi]

Long story short...I couldn't be together with this guy I met at work.

 

He was seriously the first guy I completely trusted and felt safe with.

 

I have cried so many times. I even delayed looking for other work, when they were recruiting for a position in his team, I tried my best but I still couldn't get it.

 

Sometimes I look at his profile picture on Facebook, and I cry more. Now, I have just deactivated it, because I felt it wasn't normal of me to keep searching of him. I only look at his display picture, nothing else. I am not obsessive because since I finished from work, I haven't contacted him because that is what he wanted, but its painful. I'm better now, but for a good couple of months I was suffering from serious depression. My dad and grandmother died in the same year too, which didn't help.

 

However, when I wake up, I still have thoughts of him. Just randomly I'll start missing him, wanting to talk to him but I can't anymore, because he chose to be with someone else

(who from what I heard, doesn't treat him that well anyway, and its only because she is training to be a lawyer, and is rich that he picked her).

 

If he was going to be with her, then why make me go through all of this.

 

I wanted to be friends and tried fixing things between us, but even then he said no.

 

I keep telling myself to forget about him, even tried distracting myself by liking someone else, but even then it doesn't work.

 

I feel like he is looking at my social media profiles as well, because when I deactivated my facebook, he unfollowed all of his followers on instagram, and updated his picture as soon as I did that which was really weird.

 

Just thinking about him will make me cry. I don't even want to be a couple if thats impossible, but him being there was a great deal of comfort for me. I really miss him. I tried emailing him this:

 

(His Name)

 

Hope you’re well. Apologies, I haven’t been able to contact sooner. I know it’s been a while. I wasn’t sure about my situation. I have been very hesitant about the response. I was not sure if you would reply or not. I just wanted to know how you were doing.

 

Hope everything is ok.

 

Kind Regards,

 

(My Name)

 

 

---

 

He did not reply.

:(

 

Its been 6 months that I have been feeling this way.

 

We were not boyfriend/girlfriend, but could have been.

[TrueColors]

Damn girl... I hate to say this, but I think it's best that you move on. You know they always say that you can never get over someone until you get under someone else haha.

 

EDIT:

 

Jam out to this song to get over him. He ain't sh*t girl.

 

 

[Grape Soda]

I don't think it would matter in this case because the feels aren't mutual.

It's just best to move on hun

[Nimz]

Life isn’t a k-drama. You probably won’t end up with him. Time to move on.

[KaniPi]

Damn girl... I hate to say this, but I think it's best that you move on. You know they always say that you can never get over someone until you get under someone else haha.

 

EDIT:

 

Jam out to this song to get over him. He ain't sh*t girl.

 

 

 

Thanks, I know I have been told this many times. I just can't seem to get him out of my system fully.

 

I'm just afraid to be alone.

[KaniPi]

Life isn’t a k-drama. You probably won’t end up with him. Time to move on.

 

I agree, it isn't. A lot of things have happened between us, probably the way I explained it but it happened last year. I know... I have another job now, so I am focusing on that, but still. I guess its because I haven't been in a relationship before?

[-masayume-]

Aww honey. 

I know stuff like this sucks, and I know that having feelings for someone that will probably never return them back hurts.

 

I'm advising you to move on.

Don't contact this person anymore.

It's a good thing you didn't get a job in his team IMO.

 

I know it's easier said than done, but occupy your mind with stuff you like.

Aaaand one day, a new person wil enter your life and you won't even remember this guy.

[HRH Ayyu]

 

Long story short...I couldn't be together with this guy I met at work.

 

He was seriously the first guy I completely trusted and felt safe with.

 

I have cried so many times. I even delayed looking for other work, when they were recruiting for a position in his team, I tried my best but I still couldn't get it.

 

Sometimes I look at his profile picture on Facebook, and I cry more. Now, I have just deactivated it, because I felt it wasn't normal of me to keep searching of him. I only look at his display picture, nothing else. I am not obsessive because since I finished from work, I haven't contacted him because that is what he wanted, but its painful. I'm better now, but for a good couple of months I was suffering from serious depression. My dad and grandmother died in the same year too, which didn't help.

 

However, when I wake up, I still have thoughts of him. Just randomly I'll start missing him, wanting to talk to him but I can't anymore, because he chose to be with someone else

(who from what I heard, doesn't treat him that well anyway, and its only because she is training to be a lawyer, and is rich that he picked her).

 

If he was going to be with her, then why make me go through all of this.

 

I wanted to be friends and tried fixing things between us, but even then he said no.

 

I keep telling myself to forget about him, even tried distracting myself by liking someone else, but even then it doesn't work.

 

I feel like he is looking at my social media profiles as well, because when I deactivated my facebook, he unfollowed all of his followers on instagram, and updated his picture as soon as I did that which was really weird.

 

Just thinking about him will make me cry. I don't even want to be a couple if thats impossible, but him being there was a great deal of comfort for me. I really miss him. I tried emailing him this:

 

---

 

He did not reply.

:(

 

Its been 6 months that I have been feeling this way.

 

We were not boyfriend/girlfriend, but could have been.

 

 

the things with friendship is once you crossed that line emotionally you cant go back, its best to just let it go. yu will get over this.

it sounds like to me what you miss is having someone to lean on,  i know how hard depresion is. 

 

do you have any friends? i would try to reach out to another friend. 

[KaniPi]

the things with friendship is once you crossed that line emotionally you cant go back, its best to just let it go. yu will get over this.

it sounds like to me what you miss is having someone to lean on, i know how hard depresion is.

 

do you have any friends? i would try to reach out to another friend.

I have friends but none of them are that close to me. It’s hard and I’m really tired of being alone. Yes you’re right, I can’t do anything about it if he doesn’t want to even try.

[cake mf]

Life isn’t like 1001 nights it’s more like A Town Where You Live. Ppl enter and exit the storyline at all times and u never end up with any of them.

 

It wasn’t meant to be.

 

But, at least now, you can go out and meet a better guy.

[mischievous]

 

 

Its been 6 months that I have been feeling this way.

 

We were not boyfriend/girlfriend, but could have been.

 

 

I'm almost in the same situation as you, OP. And it's been more than a YEAR now that I can't get over that guy from my work. I see him every day. It's a torture. Hearing his voice, laughter and not being able to hold a conversation w/ him bc my voice and my hands start shaking, my heart starts racing, that's just how much I like him. My life is a living hell literally. Recently I've realized that the only reason I wake up every day is that I know I will meet him. Otherwise I just don't see any reason to keep maintaining this useless life of mine. 

 

I don't think I've ever liked anyone this much. He's the most precious person. We used to be friendly with each other before I caught feelings for him. We would talk every day. But then it got so awkward bc I acted all anxious in front of him and he realized everything. I really miss the times we used to be friends. I even keep replaying our convos in my head to re-live those moments.

 

My friend always tells me to move on. But I don't know how. The only way I can think of is to start looking for another job. But I don't have guts to do so.

 

Sorry for a little rant. I just needed to get this off of my chest. And you seem to be in a similar situation ...

[wonderwice]

 

I'm almost in the same situation as you, OP. And it's been more than a YEAR now that I can't get over that guy from my work. I see him every day. It's a torture. Hearing his voice, laughter and not being able to hold a conversation w/ him bc my voice and my hands start shaking, my heart starts racing, that's just how much I like him. My life is a living hell literally. Recently I've realized that the only reason I wake up every day is that I know I will meet him. Otherwise I just don't see any reason to keep maintaining this useless life of mine. 

 

I don't think I've ever liked anyone this much. He's the most precious person. We used to be friendly with each other before I caught feelings for him. We would talk every day. But then it got so awkward bc I acted all anxious in front of him and he realized everything. I really miss the times we used to be friends. I even keep replaying our convos in my head to re-live those moments.

 

My friend always tells me to move on. But I don't know how. The only way I can think of is to start looking for another job. But I don't have guts to do so.

 

Sorry for a little rant. I just needed to get this off of my chest. And you seem to be in a similar situation ...

 

 

 

Omg, almost everything you just said is what I was also going through T_T

It's really hard. We used to be close friends then when we got together,I became awkward and anxious, but my feelings for him was so strong. I've never had that feeling before. When he cut me off, I was so depressed for months. I see him every week. His voice makes my heart beat and I get a little sensitive around him. I can't even look at him in the eyes or talk with him normally anymore. 

 

I still want to talk to him so bad. I sometimes text him but I could tell he's not interested by the way he replies. 

 

I learned that I should cherish those who want to see and talk to me like my family and friends. I think I just missed the idea of him and I could see how it would bring good emotions. But don't spend too much time on people who don't reciprocate the same effort or feelings.  Just focus on yourself and the present, OP. There will be someone out there who can love you right. 

[KaniPi]

 

I'm almost in the same situation as you, OP. And it's been more than a YEAR now that I can't get over that guy from my work. I see him every day. It's a torture. Hearing his voice, laughter and not being able to hold a conversation w/ him bc my voice and my hands start shaking, my heart starts racing, that's just how much I like him. My life is a living hell literally. Recently I've realized that the only reason I wake up every day is that I know I will meet him. Otherwise I just don't see any reason to keep maintaining this useless life of mine. 

 

I don't think I've ever liked anyone this much. He's the most precious person. We used to be friendly with each other before I caught feelings for him. We would talk every day. But then it got so awkward bc I acted all anxious in front of him and he realized everything. I really miss the times we used to be friends. I even keep replaying our convos in my head to re-live those moments.

 

My friend always tells me to move on. But I don't know how. The only way I can think of is to start looking for another job. But I don't have guts to do so.

 

Sorry for a little rant. I just needed to get this off of my chest. And you seem to be in a similar situation ...

 

 

Sorry for the late reply!

 

No, don't worry about it, I really understand how you feel. Its not easy to move on because the feelings are still there.

 

Ah I see :( do you mind me asking why he didn't feel the same way. Have you tried speaking to him again. Maybe you can still at least be friends, since you valued that relationship with him?

 

Yeah, we're pretty much in a similar situation, hope things get easier for you. Its not as easy as people tell us. If you truly care about someone you can't just forget about them like they never existed. Some people just have that affect on you.

 

I have another job, but even if we're not together, just seeing him is enough for me...but I can't even do that.

 

Keep yourself busy, whatever will happen, will happen. If he really understood your feelings, then he would make an effort, not distance yourself from you. Please don't blame yourself.

 

 

Omg, almost everything you just said is what I was also going through T_T

It's really hard. We used to be close friends then when we got together,I became awkward and anxious, but my feelings for him was so strong. I've never had that feeling before. When he cut me off, I was so depressed for months. I see him every week. His voice makes my heart beat and I get a little sensitive around him. I can't even look at him in the eyes or talk with him normally anymore. 

 

I still want to talk to him so bad. I sometimes text him but I could tell he's not interested by the way he replies. 

 

I learned that I should cherish those who want to see and talk to me like my family and friends. I think I just missed the idea of him and I could see how it would bring good emotions. But don't spend too much time on people who don't reciprocate the same effort or feelings.  Just focus on yourself and the present, OP. There will be someone out there who can love you right. 

 

I'm sorry you've been going through something similar.

 

I wouldn't bother contacting him again, its just an ego boost for him because he knows you won't change your feelings. Some people don't know what they have lost, until its gone.

 

I loved your last paragraph, its true. It took me a long time to realise that, its still a struggle, but I am starting to accept that if someone wanted you in their life, they would.

[mischievous]

Sorry for the late reply!

 

No, don't worry about it, I really understand how you feel. Its not easy to move on because the feelings are still there.

 

Ah I see :( do you mind me asking why he didn't feel the same way. Have you tried speaking to him again. Maybe you can still at least be friends, since you valued that relationship with him?

 

Yeah, we're pretty much in a similar situation, hope things get easier for you. Its not as easy as people tell us. If you truly care about someone you can't just forget about them like they never existed. Some people just have that affect on you.

 

I have another job, but even if we're not together, just seeing him is enough for me...but I can't even do that.

 

Keep yourself busy, whatever will happen, will happen. If he really understood your feelings, then he would make an effort, not distance yourself from you. Please don't blame yourself.

 

He didn't feel the same I guess bc he never tried to seduce me in the first place. He was genuinely friendly with me like he's with everyone else. Little did he know I would fall for him this hard lol. He's a very cute person, I don't think I've ever met someone this charming T-T And recently I have that urge to confess him directly. I don't care what his reaction will be, he can avoid the hell out of me for the rest of his life. I just need to share the burden or it will break me. I'm not even joking. Still waiting for a right moment to do so. 

 

I've tried keeping myself busy but then I realised nothing really interests me anymore. I used to do jogging, reading, I had tons of hobbies. But I no longer have energy. All my thoughts are there w/ him. I even thought if he used a black majic lmao bc I've known him for at least 3 years and I didn't care. He was one of my many colleagues. How on earth did he become so special all of a sudden. Life is really unpredictable.

[mischievous]

Omg, almost everything you just said is what I was also going through T_T

It's really hard. We used to be close friends then when we got together,I became awkward and anxious, but my feelings for him was so strong. I've never had that feeling before. When he cut me off, I was so depressed for months. I see him every week. His voice makes my heart beat and I get a little sensitive around him. I can't even look at him in the eyes or talk with him normally anymore. 

 

I still want to talk to him so bad. I sometimes text him but I could tell he's not interested by the way he replies. 

 

I learned that I should cherish those who want to see and talk to me like my family and friends. I think I just missed the idea of him and I could see how it would bring good emotions. But don't spend too much time on people who don't reciprocate the same effort or feelings.  Just focus on yourself and the present, OP. There will be someone out there who can love you right. 

 

I'm so sorry to hear that. But what made you think he cut you off? You guys still message each other. While I don't even have a courage to add him on instagram XD

 

You made a good point there. We are all probs just losing time with people we are not meant to be with. And I also wish humans were more honest and straightforward, and would just tell they are not interested. It will hurt at first but once you know there's no hope, you can move on easily :(

[wonderwice]

I'm so sorry to hear that. But what made you think he cut you off? You guys still message each other. While I don't even have a courage to add him on instagram XD

 

You made a good point there. We are all probs just losing time with people we are not meant to be with. And I also wish humans were more honest and straightforward, and would just tell they are not interested. It will hurt at first but once you know there's no hope, you can move on easily :(

 

I know he blocked me in Facebook for good. He used to block me in Whatsapp for a few months then unblocked me but with the way he replies, I can tell he's not interested and doesn't keep the conversation going. He acts all friendly to my other classmates but he ignores me or answers my questions in a monotone voice. He's still acting like this after 6 months and I wasted so much time and energy on him. But I couldn't stop reminiscing the good times we've spent together so I get all sad and miss him. I don't have a lot of friends, so it hurt really bad to lose a close friend. He's in the same cohort as I am and we have a class group chat. I don't think he will block me until we graduate or something. TBH, he was the one who flirted with me first. We became closer and talked almost everyday. So I developed feelings. I think the moment he found out about my feelings, he wanted to stop contact because things got awkward. 

I stopped contacting him for a month already and I don't think he cares. I'm just concentrating on graduating now, improving my self-esteem and moving on with life :P 

[KaniPi]

I know he blocked me in Facebook for good. He used to block me in Whatsapp for a few months then unblocked me but with the way he replies, I can tell he's not interested and doesn't keep the conversation going. He acts all friendly to my other classmates but he ignores me or answers my questions in a monotone voice. He's still acting like this after 6 months and I wasted so much time and energy on him. But I couldn't stop reminiscing the good times we've spent together so I get all sad and miss him. I don't have a lot of friends, so it hurt really bad to lose a close friend. He's in the same cohort as I am and we have a class group chat. I don't think he will block me until we graduate or something. TBH, he was the one who flirted with me first. We became closer and talked almost everyday. So I developed feelings. I think the moment he found out about my feelings, he wanted to stop contact because things got awkward. 

I stopped contacting him for a month already and I don't think he cares. I'm just concentrating on graduating now, improving my self-esteem and moving on with life :P 

 

I'm not sure if he really thought of you as a friend, but its good that you are moving on. Looking at his profile, and trying to communicate with him will only make you more sad.

 

Seriously, I understand how you feel. I also wasted 6 months for someone who didn't want anything more. Worst part is that when I tried to be friends with him, we shared a few kisses (admitted his feelings in the end) before I left work, and even then nothing came out of it, he still chose to be with someone else. I know he is looking at my profile because he keeps turning on/off his status to "In a relationship with --" which he never did before, which makes me sad. So the best thing for me is to do is just deactivate my facebook instead.

[KaniPi]

He didn't feel the same I guess bc he never tried to seduce me in the first place. He was genuinely friendly with me like he's with everyone else. Little did he know I would fall for him this hard lol. He's a very cute person, I don't think I've ever met someone this charming T-T And recently I have that urge to confess him directly. I don't care what his reaction will be, he can avoid the hell out of me for the rest of his life. I just need to share the burden or it will break me. I'm not even joking. Still waiting for a right moment to do so. 

 

I've tried keeping myself busy but then I realised nothing really interests me anymore. I used to do jogging, reading, I had tons of hobbies. But I no longer have energy. All my thoughts are there w/ him. I even thought if he used a black majic lmao bc I've known him for at least 3 years and I didn't care. He was one of my many colleagues. How on earth did he become so special all of a sudden. Life is really unpredictable.

 

You won't know unless you tell him right? Also, even if he says no, at least you won't be asking yourself "what if...?" It will help you give some type of closure if necessary.