PSA for desperate/lonely people: Getting into a relationship won't fix your problems or necessarily make you happier

[Asukii8]

Since I was very young, perhaps at the age of 5 or 6 years old, I have desperately wanted a girlfriend. Even in my early days of primary school, I remember dreaming about what it would be like to have a girlfriend and how much happiness it would bring to me. Throughout the entirety of high school, my main objective was to find a girlfriend. This was something that dominated my thoughts for a very large portion of my life, and it certainly would not be wrong if you had called me desperate. I thought finding a girlfriend would fix many of my problems, while also greatly improving my overall feelings of adequacy and happiness.

 

However, I actually managed to find my first girlfriend recently, and while I do feel somewhat happier, it has not fixed any of my problems. In fact, it has even created some problems. For example, I now have to worry that I have treated her properly and I overthink what I have said to her. I always try hard to treat her well and this can be quite difficult at times. While I must admit that this is a problem which lies within my own psyche, it is still a problem nontheless.

 

It's nice to get into a relationship with someone, but don't expect it to fix you at all. Having high expectations such as this will only lead to dissapointment, sadness, misery and an overall feeling of emptiness.

[OppaiLoli]

At least you won't be a virgin anymore

[Serenee]

Not very long ago I was feeling like I was not attractive enough. I said 'If I managed to get a boyfriend, then I would feel attractive enough!'

 

But I realized that having a boyfriend will lift my self-confidence only temporary. I should work at my mentality before entering a relationship.

 

If you don't fix yourself, no one will. So I agree with you.

 

 

Good luck with your girlfriend! Treat her right!

[delfinos]

exactly, your happiness should not depend alone on one person. you have to find happiness within other things/people and inside yourself as well. it can be a hard lesson to learn. wishing well for you and your relationship! 

[deobizone]

wow tea

[lovery]

so you're telling me that i have to work hard and discover love for myself on my own and develop a willingness to make mistakes and be uncomfortable in order to face my own issues and overcome them without having the option of just putting it all off for a time that'll never come and instead focus on finding happiness in another person? Because if that's what you're telling me then that's a rip off and i want a refund. : (

 

i hate hard work and getting messy (including emotional and mental mess) omg!! Somebody else make me happy instead so that i don't have to!! : (

[love]

true, happiness should never depend solely on another person

[Oli London]

Op, that is sad.

[Vanille]

Nope, it was the only time in my life I didn't feel suicidal

 

At least you won't be a virgin anymore

Nope, still a virgin

[KaniPi]

Since I was very young, perhaps at the age of 5 or 6 years old, I have desperately wanted a girlfriend. Even in my early days of primary school, I remember dreaming about what it would be like to have a girlfriend and how much happiness it would bring to me. Throughout the entirety of high school, my main objective was to find a girlfriend. This was something that dominated my thoughts for a very large portion of my life, and it certainly would not be wrong if you had called me desperate. I thought finding a girlfriend would fix many of my problems, while also greatly improving my overall feelings of adequacy and happiness.

 

However, I actually managed to find my first girlfriend recently, and while I do feel somewhat happier, it has not fixed any of my problems. In fact, it has even created some problems. For example, I now have to worry that I have treated her properly and I overthink what I have said to her. I always try hard to treat her well and this can be quite difficult at times. While I must admit that this is a problem which lies within my own psyche, it is still a problem nontheless.

 

It's nice to get into a relationship with someone, but don't expect it to fix you at all. Having high expectations such as this will only lead to dissapointment, sadness, misery and an overall feeling of emptiness.

 

I get what you mean, but sometimes you just get tired of taking care of yourself. Having someone good there for you, really does help. Also, nobody is perfect, you just have to work through any differences.