Which male idols do you think are gay?

[Almondandlime]

Something interesting about Exo's Kris. Saw this on twitter. (https://twitter.com/EXO_GlobalFacts/status/236498622580146176)

 

LSM (Lee Soo Man, SM Ent.) let Kris join EXO because he left his sexuality questionnaire blank stating that he was open to everything. pic.twitter.com/H0J9EIdM

 

 

LOL.. Chinese is a sexual orientation?? Learning new everyday xD

Is that legit? o_o

[Almondandlime]

Oh lawd. They were all together? How could the MMAs (if that's where they are) handle thier combined sassiness and divaness? Also, is Tao wearing the bracelets?

I think those pictures were all from a while ago because Key has black hair now and had brown/blond hair in those pics. 

[Almondandlime]

Woah guys getting a little bit too judgemental here. :/ You have to remember that no matter how much you think someone is gay, it's only mere speculation unless the person actually comes out with it. You can have some fun discussing this topic, but no need to call someone a "fag hag" and a "beard" after you see a picture of them kissing. That's just being a little too much and a little too rude.

Edited November 18, 2013 by Almondandlime

[Almondandlime]

well the most recent thing he said was in his concert and in front even of his family was that he is not going to get married

Well, not getting married doesn't necessarily mean gay.

[Almondandlime]

http://onehallyu.com/index.php?/topic/34989-nb-gd-and-jung-hyung-don-nominated-for-mbcs-best-couple-award/

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I used to have mega crushes on girls before I finally realized that girl parts are icky in my mid teens 

Silly me, thought I was bi until then 

Maybe you were biromantic but heterosexual? It's possible.   (but of course I don't know you or your feelings so...)

[Almondandlime]

nvm wrong thread

Edited December 7, 2013 by Almondandlime

[Almondandlime]

 

Apparently if a straight person sees a guy kissing another guy and calls them disgusting he is not homophobic.

The more you know.

 

I think Hanryu was saying that if a straight person was kissed by someone of the same sex and they show their dislike of it it's not necessarily homophobic.

Edited December 10, 2013 by Almondandlime

[Almondandlime]

People are allowed to be uncomfortable or dislike certain things when applied to themself, period. A straight person would be grossed out if somebody of the same sex kissed them, does that automatically make them homophobic? No. It means they don't like kissing people of the same sex and think it's gross, that's it. They might be homophobic, they might not; we don't have that information, and it's inappropriate to make assumptions about it.

 

That's not what he said unless I read his post wrong. Sometimes that happens. 

Yep it happens. ^^

 

 

And also, you can't really know how the all the connotations and nuances of the word unless you actually know Korean. It might be inappropriate to use "disgusting" that way in English, but we really can't know for sure if that word works the same way in Korean. Plus, I don't think anyone should really be judged this harshly for writing one word with an ambiguous meaning (to foreigners at least). You really can't know what he was actually thinking.

[Almondandlime]

 

If a man has a physical connection with men, but not with women, he's gay. It doesn't matter if he likes women, if there's no spark there then there's no spark. "Bi" is a meaningless label for people like that.

 

Well, that may be the case most of the time, but for some people sexual and romantic orientations differ. It's completely possible for someone to be biromantic but homosexual, it's just not all that common.

[Almondandlime]

What you're describing is being close emotionally but not physically, which is friendship. Romance cannot exist without the sexual aspect. Romantic love has a physical aspect.

Most of the time, but not always. It's fairly common with asexuals, who don't experience sexual attraction but do experience some sort of romantic attraction. It can also apply to sexual people occasionally.

[Almondandlime]

As ignorant as i might sound, can i ask your opinion on this

 

Like yes, some fans were obviously exaggerating things on tumblr (but when do they not?) and i get it can be annoying..but...i mean it's called "fandom" for a reason...  you know "oppa is amazing!!saranghae!!!11"

I mean, I understand that he isn't putting as much at risk as someone who was actually coming out, but Korea is conservative enough that even openly supporting lgbt rights could be controversial. So yes, at least to some extent, I do think he was courageous. How many public figures in Korea have actually come out as allies? I think any public support of lgbt rights in Korea is a step forward, even if it's "only" allies. I do acknowledge that some people have definitely overplayed the whole thing, but he definitely did do something good and well-meaning and isn't "unworthy" of praise.  

Edited December 15, 2013 by Almondandlime

[Almondandlime]

Thanks for your opinions.

 

I mostly was confused at this

 

"i’m mad at the allies in the kpop fandom who are using this as a great big excuse to pat themselves on the back, to elevate the status of allies and congratulate each other on being so awesome and brave."

 

simply because to me it looked like the usual behaviour of fans overpraising their idol

I definitely agree. I saw many many posts praising both Jonghyun and the original student who posted the petition. Jonghyun's praise isn't really taking focus away from the real issue imo, I think Jonghyun's goal was something along the lines of spreading more recognition about the movement, and he definitely achieved that.

[Almondandlime]

I feel like this person I follow on tumblr summed up my feelings about this pretty well. (I hope I can post this here >.>)

 

 

i understand where you are coming from, and yes idol worshipping only without focusing on the real issues is bad and should not be happening. but realistically, this is a very positive thing because when it comes down to it… a lot of people who are on this site and in the international fandom in general… we can do very very little about the situation for the lgbt community in korea. we can help in our own countries, and do what we can though, but not everyone can affect as much change. i agree the community needs support and help, there as well as here and everywhere, but there’s very little a lot of people can do, besides offer that support to people they know and stand up and talk. i do things to help people in these situations as much as i can, obviously because it’s close to home to me, i’m part of the community, but i still really can’t affect change in korea. what jonghyun is doing though, is affecting change in korea. talking about it, and having his words widespread is a positive thing - or it should be - because it is helping hopefully open the minds of at least some people who know of him. if even a couple of people read what he had to say and did something in korea, by either speaking up, or retweeting what he had to say, or any of that… that is positive change. i agree that queer issues are at the heart of this and should be focused on but i think that sharing and talking about it isn’t a bad thing. the more fans who know and see it, the more fans who are korean or who are living in korea who see it and maybe think about it and read what he said and what that person says, the more there are who are likely to do something positive to affect change and that’s hugely beneficial. i think that jonghyun and all people should be pro-lgbt rights, and anti-discrimination, i think that that should be something that is just inherent in all people. what is important about his actions is that he has a loud voice, being in the media as he is, he has a lot of followers and a lot of people who listen to what he has to say. and when people in that position talk, that has the potential to affect a lot of positive change. it’s not better or more profound than me talking about it or anyone else talking about it, but it does reach more people and that’s a really good thing. so ultimately what we can hope to come out of this is more support, is more of an open dialogue and is people having the courage to stand up as well. and it seems as though that has been happening? so we will see, hopefully that continues in the future. hopefully more people think about what he had to say, and what was said in the poster in general. and i hope it does affect positivity and help people in korea who are lgbt who need support get that support that they do desperately need. and i hope that it does push people who are his fans in other countries to do the same for their countries. there are a lot of people who can’t do more than say “i agree with this†but there are others who will do what they can. but as long as anyone and everyone are all doing something, that is positive. whether it’s talking or donating money or offering shelter or standing up for people or feeling confident enough to stand up for themselves, whatever they can do.

 

[Almondandlime]

oh do you have a link?

http://sleepyheaded.tumblr.com/post/70049850405/what-jonghyun-did-was-wonderful-and-great-and-im

[Almondandlime]

Oh it's Idly, i should have known i love her!

Haha yep she's great. 

[Almondandlime]

I've seen that, too. Some people were even asking for a proof of her being bisexual. That is the stupidest thing ever. It's not something that can be or should be proven.

 

I believe biphobia is just as bad as homophobia.

When a woman says she's bisexual, biphobes say she's straight and she just wants attention.

When a man says he's bisexual, they say he's gay and he's afraid to admit it. (That's what a lot of people've been saying about Tom Daley recently.)

 

Unfortunately, even many people in the LGBT community are biphobic. One might think the LGBT is like "a big family" and all of them support each other no matter what, but sadly, that is not the case. People are people. There are haters and idiots in every single community.

Don't even get me started about the denial of asexuality as a legitimate orientation... 

[Almondandlime]

meh the comments could be worse

Agreed, there was only one really homophobic comment, and it didn't even have that many upvotes. 

[Almondandlime]

/don't kill me for bringing this up again plz

I have to admit that I find a lot of similarities between myself and those who identify as asexual/aromantic. That's not necessarily how I identify because I'm not sure enough yet, but I often find myself understanding and relating to this group of people more than with the general population. I fully acknowledge that it's possible my orientation and feelings will grow and change, but as of right now, it's real to me. I know that as a human being, one of the most difficult things is to try to understand and accept things that are different from us, or that we don't experience. However, I think it is definitely best to keep an open mind because who are we to tell a person his feelings aren't real? Who are we to tell him that he's just making it up or that it's a disorder? If the person thinks his feelings are real, they're real. It doesn't matter what anyone else says because they don't know what this person experiences. Men can say women exaggerate how much periods hurt, and women can say men exaggerate how much getting kicked in the crotch hurts. But the thing is, in neither case can the person actually say if it's legitimate or not because they've never experienced it. It's just close mindedness and a refusal to trust or believe another person's experiences. Heterosexual people can't fully understand how homosexual people feel, and sexual people can't fully understand how asexual people feel. But in the end, I think we have to trust, believe, and accept others. It's not up to you to decide how legitimate their feelings are.

 

I'm a chronic lurker of this thread but sometimes I feel that I just have to come out and say something.  Hope you don't hold it against me. 

Edited December 17, 2013 by Almondandlime

[Almondandlime]

Who's Mimi?

Zhou Mi from Suju M. 

[Almondandlime]

 

Having said that though, it sure helped me to find out that people out there were speaking about themselves as Aromantic and Asexual. Otherwise I'd probably still think there was something wrong with me 

Same. I visited AVEN and suddenly everything clicked and I could actually relate to people for once. But I still don't normally use the aro/ace label because I'm not sure it describes me completely or if I'm "sure enough" yet. I'm not a huge fan of labels but I feel like they could help those that are lesser known/accepted by society. I think romantic and sexual orientation can differ for some people at least, so those labels are not completely useless. I guess labels are what you make of them. If you find that they help you, use them, if not, then don't. 

[Almondandlime]

Sungjong has competition!!!

 

He's so thin his ribs are sticking out....

 

He's good though.

[Almondandlime]

DAMN!! He's good. Who is that anyway? 

100% Jonghwan

[Almondandlime]

Regina is bringing up some valid points. No need to mindlessly bash someone for having a different opinion than yours...

[Almondandlime]

 

If something makes me qualified, it's that I actually do research and know a bit about what I'm talking about. Going back to my argument with Hanryufan and his ploy that Sehun's gay because he's effeminate, well, I easily proved with sources that being effeminate has nothing to do with sexual orientation (it's a simple gender role), and that only 15% of gay men actually fit that stereotype (& just 5% of lesbians).  

 

I'm interested to see if only 15% of gay men are effeminate, what percentage of effeminate men are gay/bi? I'm guessing that the percentage of gay men who are effeminate is much higher than the percentage of straight men who are effeminate, but I don't have any actual statistics to back it up.

[Almondandlime]

*Non hetero female who is a perpetual lurker in this thread*